I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 7 years, we bought a house together 5 years ago, she is my best friend, we have so much in common, we both enjoy the same things and we have fun together.

The thing is I'm just not in love her anymore. I care for her a lot and am happy spending time with her but is just isn't enough.

The problem is I would be giving up so much if I were to break up with her, our house, our life, her family (which have become like my own family) also I would be losing my best friend.

I'm just so confused at the moment, part of my wants to stay with her because it’s what I know, and because I do love her (just not in the relationship sense) and because we have so much in common and I don't want to hurt her.

You say you love her, she's your best friend, you have fun with her, and you love her family. I'm wondering what piece in your relationship is missing that you say you're not in love with her anymore? Also, how long have you been feeling like this?

Its not so much something is missing its just more that I feel like I'm living with & spending time with a friend, I care about her but its not love anymore. I am aware of the saying grass isn't greener but I don't want to be in a relationship just because I'm scared of not being friends with her. On the one hand I could stay with her be happy with a friend but not in love or I could leave and lose her and people close to me i.e. her family is that just me being selfish? I've felt like this for a while bit really thought about it the last 2 months.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by DaisyTrue

Its not so much something is missing its just more that i feel like I'm living with & spending time with a friend, I care about her but its not love anymore. I am aware of the saying grass isn't greener but i don't want to be in a relationship just because I'm scared of not being friends with her. On the one hand i could stay with her be happy with a friend but not in love or i could leave and lose her and people close to me ie her family is that just me being selfish? i've felt like this for a while bit really thought about it the last 2 months.

---

Dang, you're in between a rock and hard place aren't you.

I'd like to start by asking a few questions.

Are the both of you sexually active? If so, are you intimate in the bedroom? Do you make love more than you 'have sex'?

Do you often treat eachother? Dates, flowers, small items? If you do, how often?

I've seen relationships longer than yours fall apart for this same reason. It happens, and it's always best to let your partner know sooner than later. It's not selfish to want to part ways because it's just "not there" anymore. It is selfish to keep yourself in a relationship that you are not happy in anymore.

So what else is going on in your private/personal life (or hers) that makes you feel the love is gone? Us humans often go through periods of lost the love feeling when we are distracted by other issues.

If its not what she is doing then I assume its what YOU are doing, or want to do. Please fill the blanks in for us. What's missing besides the love feelings? Who are you mad at,what are you mad about?

For now, my advice is take a 3 day fishing trip with the fellows. Remove yourself from any distraction, and give it deep thought.