Could he really just be scared?
My partner and I are quite young, 19 and 22. When we first got together he was very excited, talked openly about wanting to move in with me after about four months, and wanting us to live together. He was very affectionate towards me. I got pregnant very quickly into our relationship and he was very much taken aback by this, scared as I would have imagined he would be. Through out the duration of my pregnancy I've been noticing more and more of a decrease in not only intimacy (kissing, touching, holding hands, hugging, even sex), but in his knowledge of what he wanted with me and with life. It's been very difficult for me, being pregnant, to make sense of all of this. His lack of affection makes me feel as though he is no longer interested in me and wanting to be with me, his lack of certainty makes me wonder if we have a future together or if its one he's even still wanting. I did recently discuss this with him, how his lack of affection makes me feel and think, etc, and since then I have noticed he's been trying to be more affectionate. He tells me he's depressed, that he's very fearful, that he isn't ready, and that he isn't where he wanted to be at this point in his life. He works constantly, no longer goes out much, and genuinely feels rather alone since he moved closer to me and doesn't see his friends as much or go out and be a 'normal 22 year old' as much. Before, I could discuss moving out with him and he seemed not only excited, but happy about it, now I get more of a "i've never had a space of my own before" response out of him and it really just confuses me. He tells me all the time its not me, it's the fear of it that gets to him, 'the concepts', as he would say. When we first started dating him and I both had similar views on a family and marriage, and now that we're expecting our first child, things have obviously changed quite a bit. I've made it very clear the type of future I want with him, and I've also made it clear that it's not a future I expect to be living soon, just one that, upon several years of us being together, I expect us to be heading towards. He's mentioned having more kids with me at another point in the future, and I've made it clear that in order for that to be a reality I wanted to be married, graduated from college, and us living together. He says he wants all of this with me, just not right now. And I can't help but wonder, is it really JUST the fear, or is there something more that he isn't telling me?
