Ask Me Help Desk - Confused!

Confused!

Okay so my question is going to be long so please bear with me. Here it goes. I am 19 years old and I'm one child of nine. We Have been raised as a very strong non denominational christian family. My dad is the leader of our family is tells us he is a prophet sent of God. Every Sunday we are to be at "church" which my dad teaches at my house. However.. I don't learn really Anything. I can never focus because my dad creeps me out, as bad as that sounds. I want to be in a real church so I can learn and really take in what is being taught but I'm too afraid to ask because I know he will be Furious. Also my dad is very big in speaking in tongues and is constantly putting it in out faces.. I absolutely do believe in speaking in tongues but I believe it should be between you and the lord. Not between you and man. My dad is usually very rude to us and getting on us abou everything. My sisters and I do so much for my family.. and I love it but I don't have time for myself. It's almost like I'm a part time mom. I guess I just wish he would show a little appreciation? On the other hand.. my dad Is so kind to us sometimes.. it just confuses me. I guess what I'm asking is.. is my dad right for acting this way? He is constantly turning us away from him... I need help. I feel as if I am screaming for someone to save me but nobody understands.

You are 19, I think it would be in your best interest to leave... as would any other children of legal age.

If only for the belief he has that he is some sort of prophet.

I'm a lifelong Christian and we don't believe in that... any denomination I am aware of, that to me has all the makings of a Cult.

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

You are 19, I think it would be in your best interest to leave.......as would any other children of legal age.
If only for the belief he has that he is some sort of prophet.

I'm a lifelong Christian and we don't believe in that.....any denomination I am aware of, that to me has all the makings of a Cult.

*I did leave. I graduated and went to college. I was in an accident and had to move home to recover. Unfortunately I still don't have a car, I work abouy 30 hours a week but it Is impossible to save money because I pay for everything the kids need and help out some at home. I want to leave so bad but feel like I can't leave the kids! Because he Would not allow me to see them anymore. Also my sister and I have read A lot about cults and we feel the same way. As embarrassing as that is. Thank you for your response.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anna01

*I did leave. I graduated and went to college. I was in an accident and had to move home to recover. Unfortunately I still don't have a car, I work abouy 30 hours a week but it Is impossible to save money because I pay for everything the kids need and help out some at home. I want to leave so bad but feel like I can't leave the kids! Because he Would not allow me to see them anymore. Also my sister and I have read A lot about cults and we feel the same way. As embarrassing as that is. Thank you for your response.

I am certain there is help out there for people in a situation such as yours... unfortunately I am not aware of where to direct you, however if you remain patient perhaps someone else who reads this will.

Ok, it is first very biblical for there to be home churches, and in tradition often the elder male of the family did hold services of some sort on a daily basis and the family as a whole only went to other organised activities once in a while.

Many ,and in my opinion too many Pentecostals do make speaking in tongues far too important, many of the organised churches will even go as far as to say if you don't speak in tongues you are not really saved. So depending on the church you go into, expect the speaking in tongues to be pushed into your face even at many of the other churches.

It will be a matter of finding one that fits your more moderate view points.

Also learning, if you will not sit and listen to what your dad is preaching, why should I believe you will sit and listen to what a preacher is saying ?

Next little learning is done while being preached at, it is done as you read and study the bible and other writings yourself, So do you ever read and study the bible yourself.

Do you question you dad on items, if he is prophet then he would hold a 5 fold purpose and one of them is that of teacher.

If he uses all the gifts, but the hardest gift if that of prophecy, and it is rare you find it.
He may be a preacher, he may be a teacher, but I may challenge the fact he is a true prophet. If so when does he go out and tell others the word of God.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Ok, it is first very biblical for there to be home churches, and in tradition often the elder male of the family did hold services of some sort on a daily basis and the family as a whole only went t. o other organised activities oncwhile.
Many ,and in my opinion too many Pentecostals do make speaking in tongues far too important, many of the organised churches will even go as far
as to say if you don't speak in tongues you are not really saved. So depending on the church you go into, expect the speaking in tongues to be
pushed into your face even at many
of the other churches.
It will be a matter of finding one that fits your more moderate view points.
Also learning, if you will not sit and listen to what your dad is preaching, why should I beleive you will sit and listen to what a preacher is saying?
Next little learning is done while being preached at, it is done as you read and study the bible and other writingsOkay so my question is going to be long so please bare with me. Here it goes. I am 19 years old and im one child of nine. We Have been raised as a very strong non denominational christian family. My dad is the leader of our family is tells us he is a prophet sent of God. Every sunday we are to be at "church" which my dad teaches at my house. However..I don't learn really Anything. I can never focus because my dad creeps me out, as bad as that sounds. I want to be ..... yourself, So do you ever read and study the bible your self
Do you question you dad on items, if he is prophet then he would hold a 5 fold purpose and one of them is that of teacher.
If he uses all the gifts, but the hardest gift if that of prophecy, and it is rare you find it.
He may be a preacher, he may be a
teacher, but I may challegefact he is

Okay so my question is going to be long so please bare with me. Here it goes. I am 19 years old and im one child of nine. We Have been raised as a very strong non denominational christian family. My dad is the leader of our family is tells us he is a prophet sent of God. Every sunday we are to be at "church" which my dad teaches at my house. However..I don't learn really Anything. I can never focus because my dad creeps me out, as bad as that sounds. I want to be in a real church so I can learn and really take in what is being taught but I'm too afraid to ask because I know he will be Furious. Also my dad is very big in speaking in tongues and is constantly putting it in out faces..I absolutely do believe in speaking in tongues but I believe it should be between you and the lord. Not between you and man. My dad is usually very rude to us and getting on us abou everything. My sisters and I do so much for my family..and I love it but I don't have time for myself. It's almost like I'm a part time mom. I guess I just wish he would show a little appreciation? On the other hand..my dad Is so kind to us sometimes..it just confuses me.

a true prophet. If so when does he go out and tell others the word of
God.

... this is exactly my point. People don't understand my situation. I could never explain it fully in text. You would have to live it to understand. I do listen to what my dad teaches but it is rarely from the bible.. he pretty much just yells at us the whole service. Now When I've been at church before I can listen and drink up all that is being taught. I just do not trust my dad. I don't think he is right in the head. On the other hand I feel bad I feel this way because he Is my dad.

Where is your mother? Other relatives?

Fr_chuck sorry I didn't mean to send the last one so early. Anyway.. yes I am in the word but need to be more. I love the lord with all of my heart and will follow him for the rest of my life... im not going to lie though. How my dad teaches us and things he will say almost makes me want to not have a relationship with god. Now I would never throw away all I've been taught and received but I guess my dad just confuses me sometimes.. . yes my dad does go out here and there and tell others about the l

What are some specific things your father says during his church services?

Fr_chuck. About the lord but when has he ever even helped with winning someone to the lord? Never.. not that I know of. Maybe before I was born. He has pushed all of his family away and has no friends.. in a way I can understand because his family won't except Jesus the way he does but he doesn't go at it the right way. They are all "good people" but don't want as much god as we do. If that makes sense. Anyway.. I do love my dad. I really do but I can't stand feeling this way. I know things aren't right.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Where is your mother? other relatives?

My mom lives with us. She works everyday though. She's almOst always dead tired.. my relatives well they all live about 2 hours away and my dad won't speak to them. My grandma lives in my same town but my dad won't speak to her either. I think I will get in trouble if I go see her. It's hard to explain anything specific that my dad will say because it is Always different. We never stay on topic! We will end up talking about for example my brother that is in Afghanistan.. how he will die if he does not come home Right now, or how my sister is dating a baptist and he will never accept her if she marries him. I wish I could just videotape it and put it on here honestly.

It doesn't sound very Christian (and my dad was a pastor, so I know how home life can go living with a religious father). He sounds very controlling.

Does your mother have anything to say about your father or this situation?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

It doesn't sound very Christian (and my dad was a pastor, so I know how home life can go living with a religious father). He sounds very controlling.

. He is Very controlling. My mom is a very Godly woman and I look up to her very much. However she gives into his control. It almost seems in a way he brainwashes her? He treats her very rudely.. she is the one that works and pays for EVERYTHING! Her birthday was yesterday and I guess he was getting on her and for once she stood up to him and said I can't take your stress. He got mad and left. Then came back in the middle of night. They still have not spoken and I just heard him say to my sister that my mom is acting up? No. He just does not let her be her own person. He had major control issues.

A Christian husband doesn't treat his wife that way.

Did your father used to belong to a church and got turned off somehow, and then started this thing with home services that he considers a godly alternative?

Anna - I fully understand your situation. Sometimes it is helpful for you to ask yourself "what would I like to change about my situation?" and then go from there.

If it were in your power to change your situation right now, what would you do?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

A Christian husband doesn't treat his wife that way.
Did your father used to belong to a church and got turned off somehow, and then started this thing with home services that he considers a godlyalternative?

Sort of. We have been in other churches before and a couple my dad had preached at. After a while they kindly ask us to leave or for him to water down his preaching. We always leave. My dad does not answer to anyone and does not have a covering.. I don't think it is healthy at all.

He IS an ordained minister? Or how did he get into a pulpit? Which denomination? Pentecostal?

Water down his preaching--from what? Hellfire and damnation?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jakester

Anna - I fully understand your situation. Sometimes it is helpful for you to ask yourself "what would I like to change about my situation?" and then go from there.
If it were in your power to change your situation right now, what would you do?

if I could change the situation I would pack up all my brothers and sisters and my mom and move away from here.. away from my dad. I would get into church and begin to pursue my own dreams which I cannot do here. I don't think he is holding me back intentionally but I can't grow here.