OK, so starting from the beginning, they both didn't date very long until they had a baby at 17. They were off and on during their relationship and decided to split for good when their daughter was one. After they moved on, that's when we met. We have been together for 2 and a half years now and I'm also pregnant.

The problem is, when I go with him to his family get togethers, she is there... at every single one of them... and I feel really uncomfortable. Especially when he tries to talk to her sometimes. It's flat out awkward. I tried talking to him about it and he just tells me I'm being jealous and it's not a big deal... It's also not a big deal to his family either. His sister told him that I should be friends with her (which is none of her business to say so) but I feel like I rather not. I got into a relationship to be with him, not him and his ex. I feel like his family rather him be with her than me and that's another thing that makes me feel uncomfortable.

I just don't know what to do because nobody else has this problem with their boyfriend's baby momma sticking around. I feel like I can't move on with him If his ex is in the middle of it. On the other hand, I have a good relationship with his daughter, she loves me and wants to be around me more than her own mom. I just try to keep my distance when she's around her too. Soooo! I need help, I'm I just stressing out for no reason? Or should I move on and let them be, because I'm fine with raising a child without his help.

You've chosen to be with a man that has a lot of baggage and that means a more complicated relationship for you. The moment your fiancé had a baby with his ex she became a permanent part of his life and his family. Those people are her daughter's grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. I don't think it's at all weird that their daughter goes to family gatherings and as long as the girl is little, I don't think it's strange that mom comes along to watch the child. Even after the girl is old enough to go to gatherings on her own, his ex might still have ties to the family. Because of the child, I think you will have to accept that the ex is also a part of the family.

If his ex isn't being rude to you or intending to cause trouble between you and his family, I think you would do best to just put up with her being there. I would even suggest trying to be friends, even though it sounds like that isn't what you want. You say you love her little girl. Maybe try bonding over her? You say you're pregnant. Perhaps this woman could be a source of advice and comfort during your pregnancy?

Your fiancé has chosen to be with you, so I don't think you need to feel threatened by his ex. If anything, causing trouble with the ex will likely only makes things worse between you and him. I think your best bet is to accept the situation and try to make things between you and your fiancé and those in his life as friendly/comfortable as possible.

Moving on will be your choice, and I applaud this final statement that you know you can do it alone. Right on!

On the note of the ex. Well, his family has known her longer, and they already love the child. They don't feel or probably understand your feelings. However, he should have the sensitivity and wits about him to know this is awkward for you. My advice would be, if you are uncomfortable don't go. You are not going to change anything by being jealous. It will just make you look insecure. He left her and impregnated you. Well, I wouldn't want him back if I were the ex. If she does, she is real stupid.

Confidence is your most alluring charm. Use it. If it is meant to be, he will run after you. You and your baby don't need to be worrying about his fidelity. Life is full of options. Look ahead.

I agree--make an effort to get to know her and even become friends with her. His family obviously has a special place in their hearts for her and her child, so why would you want to look like a jealous martyr? He's with you and loves you and the coming baby, so why drive him into her (or more likely someone else's) arms with your insecure feelings and whining? She probably has some good child care tips and maybe even a few good recipes. :) Spin it in a positive way and enjoy family get-togethers.

She is part of the family, whether he is with her or not. You are going to have to overcome your jealousy (not only of him, but for his rest of his family as well). Is not easy, but is something you don't have a choice about. You don't have to like her, you don't have to even talk to her, but you do have to accept her. Your soon to be baby daddy has a baby momma and a son, which will always be there, either you choose to accept it, or you choose to move on.

Your baby and hers are half sisters, and if you cannot join this family then this will never work. Maybe try to fit in and see how it works. Just don't start any baby mama drama. How far along are you?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Your baby and hers are half sisters, and if you cannot join this family then this will never work. Maybe try to fit in and see how it works. Just don't start any baby mama drama. How far along are you?

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Oh, I'm 14 weeks (:

Congratulations on the pregancy. I would much rather use my time and concentration on keeping that baby healthy than to put all these drama in my life, it doesn't help the baby if you are stressing out over something you have no control over.

I think you just need a lot of TLC from the right people mommy. And you are entitled to be cranky and out of sorts. Screw anyone that doesn't understand it!!