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-   -   I Constantly Lie And can't Stop It (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=69366)

  • Mar 6, 2007, 12:50 PM
    lowrie26
    I Constantly Lie And Cant Stop It
    I Am A 26 Year Old Mum To A 10yr Old Girl,I Have Recently Bought A House With My Boyfriend I Constantly Tell Lies To Him Weather It Be To Make My Day Seem More Interesting Or Lying That Ive Paid Bills When I Haven't And I Know He Is Going To Find Out.I Really Need Some Advice I'm So Down And Really Want To Tell The Truth But A Lie Comes Out First.:(
  • Mar 6, 2007, 01:29 PM
    faithl
    Why do you feel you cannot talk to him about these things? Lying to make your day sound more interesting is something I've thought about doing myself! But this is trivial compared to lying about paying bills; this is something he's going to find out. Are you lying because you're afraid he'll be angry? Or are you lying because you find it easier to be someone else, and put on an act? Is it something you've always done? If you can't talk to your partner I really would see a friend or call a helpline - I don't know if you have a Samaritans (I'm guessing you're in the US? Most members seem to be) Try googling advice lines or help lines. Hope this helps.
  • Mar 8, 2007, 01:50 AM
    Marily
    It Sounds As If You Are Missing Something In Your Life. Is There Maybe An Empty Place In Your Heart That Neither Your Man Or Child Can Fill ? I Think The First Thing You Need To Do Is To Sincerely Ask God To Help You, I Can't Help You Neither Can Anyone Else. After That You Should Tell Your Man What You Have Done And Seek His Forgiveness Too. Try To Pray More It Helps
  • Mar 8, 2007, 02:34 AM
    NeedKarma
    There would be no point in lying if you didn't think that the truth could possibly hurt someone. Find out what the problem is with truth and fix it.
  • Mar 10, 2007, 09:44 AM
    valinors_sorrow
    You are describing what my brother does. Its lies of all kinds, all the time. It costs him jobs, relationships, all sorts of things. I asked about his lying once with my therapist and was told it's a form of denial and control mixed together. He apparently first has to lie to himself about how telling the truth doesn't matter and then the lies are all acceptable, to him at least. I have talked at length with him about it and he claims truth is for sissies and we don't deserve it anyway. LOL It was plain to me as I listened to him talk that he can't envision what his vastly improved life without the lies would be like. In fact he can't see that life would be better either way. Shugs. I mean, I can see that he is hurting (and he is) but he becomes defensive and enraged if I approach him about it. Not much more I could say to that. I would be the first to help him "come in from the cold", should he want that, but it would take some major work on his part and I am, at this point, pretty convinced he is not up for that.

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