A few years ago I went through some pretty messed up stuff and I have no idea why but I used sex as a way to deal with the trauma of it all. I often traveled so it was basically my biggest objective to sleep with ad many men as possible (using a condom and making sure they were disease free of course) I was in high school at the time so word of me sleeping with a lot of men quickly got around and I got nicknames for being a slut and a fag and everything else, but it never really phased me.
When I turned 19 I kind of dropped the whole "sleep with everyone" thing because I got scared I would get a disease and I'm really surprised I didn't. After that I tried to have committed relationships but almost every guy would leave me because they were scared I was going to sleep with someone else, even though I never cheated and I plan never to cheat. It didn't exactly phase me then because I never really did love the boys but it still hurt knowing everybody thought I was a slut.
Anyway, I returned home awhile ago and met up with a guy I knew from my childhood, he had come out as gay two years before and had been dating the same guy since he was 16, to my luck him and the guy broke up just as I arrived home and we started talking a lot more. At first we claimed to just be old friends catching up but things slowly started changing, we would leave our group of friends to walk alone and talk, he would spend almost every night at my house and became extremely cuddly. About two months later I was completely head over heels for him and he was for me as well, we've been dating and in a perfect relationship for six months and just had sex for the first time (with each other) about two weeks ago but people are still taunting me about my past sex life. Some of the men I've slept with in my city have threatened to tell my boyfriend that I'm a slut who sleeps around and others try and bring it up whenever they see us together.
I'm really scared he's going to leave me when he finds out (he's only had one partner before me) and I really don't want him too, I've never felt this way about a guy before and he's completely perfect to and for me. I have no idea if I should hold my breath and wait and see or tell him straight up about my past?

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Originally Posted by Syreni

A few years ago I went through some pretty messed up stuff and I have no idea why but I used sex as a way to deal with the trauma of it all. I often traveled so it was basically my biggest objective to sleep with ad many men as possible (using a condom and making sure they were disease free of course) I was in highschool at the time so word of me sleeping with a lot of men quickly got around and I got nicknames for being a slut and a fag and everything else, but it never really phased me.
When I turned 19 I kind of dropped the whole "sleep with everyone" thing because I got scared I would get a disease and I'm really surprised I didn't. After that I tried to have committed relationships but almost every guy would leave me because they were scared I was going to sleep with someone else, even though I never cheated and I plan never to cheat. It didn't exactly phase me then because I never really did love the boys but it still hurt knowing everybody thought I was a slut.
Anyways, I returned home awhile ago and met up with a guy I knew from my childhood, he had come out as gay two years before and had been dating the same guy since he was 16, to my luck him and the guy broke up just as I arrived home and we started talking a lot more. At first we claimed to just be old friends catching up but things slowly started changing, we would leave our group of friends to walk alone and talk, he would spend almost every night at my house and became extremely cuddly. About two months later I was completely head over heels for him and he was for me as well, we've been dating and in a perfect relationship for six months and just had sex for the first time (with each other) about two weeks ago but people are still taunting me about my past sex life. Some of the men I've slept with in my city have threatened to tell my boyfriend that I'm a slut who sleeps around and others try and bring it up whenever they see us together.
I'm really scared he's going to leave me when he finds out (he's only had one partner before me) and I really don't want him too, I've never felt this way about a guy before and he's completely perfect to and for me. I have no idea if I should hold my breath and wait and see or tell him straight up about my past?

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How did you make certain that your partners (when you were being promiscuous) were disease free?

I don't think your partner is entitled to know your sexual history. If you think the truth is going to come out, however, I'd head it off. I don't know a big, lengthy explanation is necessary. You made decisions when you were younger, decisions you now regret. I'd say no more, no less.

First off I would try to sever contact with the people taunting you in the first place. I know that rumours fly, but after high school they should take a down turn. Just stop associating with them. Cut out the high school drama.

I agree with judy in so much that you're not required to give him your full sexual history. He doesn't need to know your number. If he really likes you he shouldn't care about your number.

That being said Mens egos are fragile. He'll probably feel insecure about not having as high a number as you. That's fine just make sure to let him know it is all right.

As well you might want, if he is libel to hear this from someone else, cut off the rumours at the pass. Tell him that when you're younger you were in a dark place and used sex to ease the pain, or what not, but that it was a long time ago. I would go get tested and show him the results, that you're clean. Trust me it will be better to hear this from you rather than hearing this from someone in the town. If he cares for you it might be a surprise but he will think nothing of it.

It is your past, nothing to be ashamed of. Honest communication will do great in any relationship.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

How did you make certain that your partners (when you were being promiscuous) were disease free?

I don't think your partner is entitled to know your sexual history. If you think the truth is going to come out, however, I'd head it off. I don't know a big, lengthy explanation is necessary. You made decisions when you were younger, decisions you now regret. I'd say no more, no less.

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Most of the men I had slept with we're the same as me and had their test results back at their places. A few men however didn't so I went by their word. However I know that since my last test (which I took probably a month ago) I'm disease free. If those men had lied I had an incredible amount of luck.

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Originally Posted by Syreni

Most of the men I had slept with we're the same as me and had their test results back at their places. A few men however didn't so I went by their word. However I know that since my last test (which I took probably a month ago) I'm disease free. If those men had lied I had an incredible amount of luck.

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Who told you that you test positive immediately or within a short time? That's not true.

And, yes, I hope you had an incredible amount of good luck.

The fear someone is going to cheat is always a issue for some people.

Others don't think people can or will change.

If and when you find the right person, trust will have to be there.

That is the reason you build a good emotional relationship before sex is even considered.