Ask Me Help Desk - Father's rights

I too am kind of in the same boat my daughter is more than a year old.. ive been taking care of her since day 1. her biological father is a drug user and an alcoholic... he does not speak to me.. does not ask about her at all... I have taken her willingly to see him but he doesn't even hold her.. doesnt know her name or the day she was born he knows nothing about her... when he found out I was pregnant.. he threatened to push me down stairs or use a wire clothes hanger on me... if you think he has the right to be a parent.. your crazy... if he asked to see her I would probably take her to see him... but he would not be holding her by choice. My fiancé loves my daughter to death.. ive never seen a connection like that with a man and a child.. its unbelievable! He would love to adopt her we are getting married in September and I would love to know the actions to take to get her biological father to give up his rights because he wouldn't do it just to be a about it, not because he would ever want to see her... his name is not on the birth certificate, and I have no idea what to do...

First its not a good idea to piggyback your question on another thread. This can lead to confusion. So I've moved your question to its own thread.

The fact is that the LAW gives the biological father some rights. Whether morally he deserves them is a different issue.

And part of those rights is that he has a say in whether someone else can adopt his child. By leaving him off the birth certificate, you have made it harder for your fiancée to adopt.

Also, have you gone after the father for child support? If not you should, you owe it to your child.

So here is what will happen. You start proceedings for child support now. This will establish the bio father as the legal father. Don't worry about collecting support, because that's not your main aim in asking for it.

Next you get married and wait until your husband can apply to adopt his step child. You file for the adoption and ask the bio father to relinquish his rights. If he balks you tell him that his support obligation will end when the adoption is final.

Get an attorney to shepherd you through this process.

First was he a drug user and a drunk when you were sleeping with him? If so I guess you felt he was good father material at the time ? And you did not have a problem living with him then perhaps ?

And your opinion of how bad he is, does not matter,what matters is the law and of course he has rights, He has not chosed to take you to court at this time to enforce them.

In court if you can prove he is a drug user ( convictions, arrests) and a drunk, ( DUI convictions, police being called) or perhaps you called police on him for assault.

So when he appears in court in a suit and tie, all shaved and looking like a business person, what evidence do you have that you can present to prove anyting you have said.

If you want the new husband after you are married to adopt, then you ask the bio father to sign over his rights.

They are normally much happier to do this if they are being chased down by child support enforcement. I will assume you already went to court and have custody of the child and a order for child support, since you sound like a loving mother and this is what responsible people do.

This man sounds a lot like the "man child" I'm trying NOT to deal with. He is an awful, mean, abusive manipulator. In my humble opinion, he 110% DOESN'T deserve to breath the same air as my child or the rest of our family! Harsh? Probably... True? Most definitely!
Mu husband has been right by my son's side since he was 13 months old. He is the on that is raising him... he potty trained, taught to wrote his name (our name), taught him to run, talk, ride without training wheels, protected my baby from danger and held him when it was storming... To me, all of this defines a Daddy. My husband did have to be a father, he chose this life every step of the way!
Anybody can make a baby... it takes a very special man to take that baby, and mold he/she into an amazing little human being! KUDOS, to all of the volunteer Daddys out there! You have no idea how big of a difference you r making for our future parents.

Being a good parent or a "father" has nothing at all to do with the law. A man who does not deserve to breath the same air, ( there are 1000's of them) and many get visitation every month with their child. Even those who are a threat to the child, at times get supervised visits.

you are confusing moral values, and the legal system. To get visitation one does not have to be a good parent, one does not have to know how to potty trail, one does not have to be a DADDY, they just have to give sperm to the women to be pregnnat. And then show up in court and not be really legally bad.

So we are really glad your child found someone to be in their life, and adopted or not, they hopefully always will be. But you asked this in the Legal section, not the relationship section.
The law is, the bio dad has rights, even if you don't want him to have.

So he will either sign them over on his own, or you will have to prove with evidence acceptable by the court, that he is a danger to this child.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommy23-200925

This man sounds a lot like the "man child" I'm trying NOT to deal with. He is an awful, mean, abusive manipulator. In my humble opinion, he 110% DOESN'T deserve to breath the same air as my child or the rest of our family! Harsh? Probably... True? Most definitely!!
Mu husband has been right by my son's side since he was 13 months old. He is the on that is raising him...he potty trained, taught to wrote his name (our name), taught him to run, talk, ride without training wheels, protected my baby from danger and held him when it was storming... To me, all of this defines a Daddy. My husband did have to be a father, he chose this life every step of the way!
Anybody can make a baby...it takes a very special man to take that baby, and mold he/she into an amazing little human being! KUDOS, to all of the volunteer Daddys out there! You have no idea how big of a difference you r making for our future parents.

Please don't use this site as a soapbox. While I understand your emotions, this is a LAW forum. Answers here need to conform to statutory law. The fact of the matter here is that the "man child" who fathered your son was someone YOU chose to have sex with. Since anytime you engage in sexual intercourse you risk a pregnancy, you should have considered your sex partner's ability to be a father before you opened your legs. I know that may sound harsh to you, but if every women viewed their sex partners as potential fathers the children would be better off.

I share your admiration for men who step up and become a father to their partner's children. But your response here was not appropriate to this forum, since it didn't deal at all with the legal issues raised by the OP. Please be more careful in the future how you respond to posts here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mommy23-200925

This man sounds a lot like the "man child" I'm trying NOT to deal with. He is an awful, mean, abusive manipulator. In my humble opinion, he 110% DOESN'T deserve to breath the same air as my child or the rest of our family! Harsh? Probably... True? Most definitely!!
Mu husband has been right by my son's side since he was 13 months old. He is the on that is raising him...he potty trained, taught to wrote his name (our name), taught him to run, talk, ride without training wheels, protected my baby from danger and held him when it was storming... To me, all of this defines a Daddy. My husband did have to be a father, he chose this life every step of the way!
Anybody can make a baby...it takes a very special man to take that baby, and mold he/she into an amazing little human being! KUDOS, to all of the volunteer Daddys out there! You have no idea how big of a difference you r making for our future parents.

Frchuck brings up a good point - this is another case of having a child with a "man child who is awful, mean and abusive... unemployed, always unemployed, for about as long as [OP] knew him.. . Stay away from the law. He doesn't work, doesn't have a license, no car, bills aren't in his name... he's a ghost." I continue to be amazed that men who are apparently worth spending time with are so worthless after the child is born.

At any rate - I agree with the "Daddy" discussion. I just don't see the legal advice here.