Hello!! I lost my virginity 7 days before my 30th birthday... I was waiting for so long to do it because I wanted to do it with someone I love but that didn't happen... I like this guy but I am not in love with him... But I am sexual attracted to him... So after 12 days I decided to do it my second time.. This time didn't hurt so bad because he used a lot of lube... But I felt little uncomfortable sometimes doing it... When I didn't feel any pain and wasn't so uncomfortable I felt nothing no pleasure at all..

I am so sad because I thought that I will enjoy sex so much after losing my virginity... When I was watching movies I would feel some pressure down there or get excited kissing guy before or when he was touching me...

But why I don't feel anything during sex and will I feel like this all the time..?. I was dreaming about sex for so long and suddenly when I did it I don't enjoy.:-(.. Is this normal??

I WANT TO ENJOY SEX SO BAD!!

It is truly a sad thing when your expectations don't live up to real life eh? Not much you can do about that.

I am going to draw an analogy here for you. If you talk to a professional cyclist about cycling he will go on and on about the exhilarating feeling of the wind and the road. He will tell stories of his greats rides and how awesome it all was. Coast down a hill with the wind in his face, calves burning form the exertion of getting up the hill, sun warm on his face. You could read and dream about this feeling. When you first get on your bike you won't be proficient enough to be able to do much. It will hurt. The second time you will go a bit further but you won't hit that high that you read about, heard about, or dreamt about. So you can either plug forward and continue learning how to cycle or give up. Eventually you will get that high.

So when I said bike up there you can think of sex. If you know your equipment, i.e. you body, and how it works you can get a lot of enjoyment. What do you like? Do you like your nipples twisted? Do you like your man going down on you? His fingers playing with you? What positions do you like?

You've just started to play around in a vast playground and you're getting disappointed by the first slide.

Here is the advice I want to give to you.
1). Get a Vibrator. Doesn't have to be anything big, just a little bullet will do. Get yourself off with that. Feel what that feels like.
2). When you do have sex take control, don't just be a rag doll for the boy to do what he pleases. Get him to pleasure you before you pleasure him. Control the positions. Try different ones. My GF is really liking Doggy style right now, reverse cowgirl is good. There are tones out there, you just need to find them.
3). For the love of everything, use protection. You might be a mature 30 and ready for everything, but there are nasty things you can get from STI's, to infections that don't go away, to pregnancy.
4). Learn the way your body works. This is important. There are a lot of times that you cannot expect your partner to get you off. That happens, it is rare for a woman to climax during sex. Enjoy the ride and if he finishes before you, get him to finish you off or finish yourself off.

There is a big world here, welcome.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

It is truly a sad thing when your expectations don't live up to real life eh? Not much you can do about that.

I am going to draw an analogy here for you. If you talk to a professional cyclist about cycling he will go on and on about the exhilarating feeling of the wind and the road. He will tell stories of his greats rides and how awesome it all was. Coast down a hill with the wind in his face, calves burning form the exertion of getting up the hill, sun warm on his face. You could read and dream about this feeling. When you first get on your bike you won't be proficient enough to be able to do much. It will hurt. The second time you will go a bit further but you won't hit that high that you read about, heard about, or dreamt about. So you can either plug forward and continue learning how to cycle or give up. Eventually you will get that high.

So when I said bike up there you can think of sex. If you know your equipment, ie you body, and how it works you can get a lot of enjoyment. What do you like? Do you like your nipples twisted? Do you like your man going down on you? His fingers playing with you? What positions do you like?

You've just started to play around in a vast playground and you're getting disappointed by the first slide.

Here is the advice I want to give to you.
1). Get a Vibrator. Doesn't have to be anything big, just a little bullet will do. Get yourself off with that. Feel what that feels like.
2). When you do have sex take control, don't just be a rag doll for the boy to do what he pleases. Get him to pleasure you before you pleasure him. Control the positions. Try different ones. My GF is really liking Doggy style right now, reverse cowgirl is good. There are tones out there, you just need to find them.
3). For the love of everything, use protection. You might be a mature 30 and ready for everything, but there are nasty things you can get from STI's, to infections that don't go away, to pregnancy.
4). Learn the way your body works. This is important. There are a lot of times that you cannot expect your partner to get you off. That happens, it is rare for a woman to climax during sex. Enjoy the ride and if he finishes before you, get him to finish you off or finish yourself off.

There is a big world here, welcome.

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Thank you!! I really hope that one day I will start to enjoy sex!!

Maybe you should Help "stimulate" yourself when your having sex, it always works for me!

Craven did a great job of explaining the physical side. What I am going to add to what he said is the mental aspect.

For females, arousal is more of a mental process than physical. It also begins long before clothes come off or we get any near a bed. Don't be afraid to let your thoughts run wild about what you want to do or try with your partner. Show little signs of affection and intimacy to build up the anticipation and desire. Don't rush.

Be comfortable in your surroundings. If you are easily distracted by sounds, fear of interruptions, too cold, too hot, etc. your mind won't relax enough to enjoy sexual contact.

Enjoy the journey. Explore his body with all of your senses. Think about how his skin and hair feel to you. Feel the change in the rhythm of his breathing and heart-rate. Listen to the sounds he makes. Breathe in his unique scent. Lose yourself in the moment.

Be aware that being attracted to a male may not be enough. Many people-male and female-need an emotional connection to experience full pleasure. Some who don't have that connection can feel like they are using the other person or being used. It tends to put a damper on arousal if you aren't fully invested in event.

Do you have a relationship with this male outside of sex? Are you at least casually dating? Are you just meeting up for sex? If there isn't anything going on between you other than going to bed, then that may explain part of your problem with not feeling any pleasure.

Masturbation is a great way to explore your mind and your body. It can teach you what stimulates your mind gets you aroused as well as what feels good to your body.

Don't think that just because you are physically active that you don't need fantasies or that your body is the only part that should be stimulated. Keep your mind involved and enjoy exploring your likes and finding your dislikes.

And, yes, you are quite normal.