We went out for a few years and the only reason we are not together now is because she moved out of state for school, we talk, we laugh, we're cool. But I'm deeply in love with her and it hurts talking to her sometimes I don't want to be just friends but I know right now with the distance between us I have no choice. It brings me joy when she calls but I hate getting of the phone with her, I've tried to ignore her for two weeks and that was hard to do every time she called I wanted to answer but didn't, until the two weeks was over it scared me cause I thought I'd lost her friendship and that's what I don't want to happen but I don't how to handle this I don't know what's right or wrong, if I should continue talking to her or not. She's been there for me through thick and thin good and bad and I do feel a little selfish but to be her friend I got to lose this feeling this drug called love. Help me

Does she know how you feel about her and does she feel the same way about you?

[quote=homegirl 50;3234584]does she know how you feel about her and does she feel the same way about you?[/quote
Yes and no. we both feel the same way about each other as far as being in love, i haven't told her that im going through the motions just by talking on the phone with her. ive prep talk myself into telling her how i can't be "JUST FRIENDS" but it never comes out when we talk im scared that asking her to not contact me for awhile can lead onto something permanent.

So if you two are "in love" why can you not talk about your feelings and just enjoy being able to talk to each other?

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Originally Posted by homegirl 50

so if you two are "in love" why can you not talk about your feelings and just enjoy being able to talk to each other?

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It hurts talking to her because of the fact that I'm in love with her, and I just don't know if I should be her friend or just distance myself for a little while just to get pass this love thing until I feel comfortable being friends

OK so why are you two just friends now?
How old are the both of you?
If you two have broken up, then you need to not be communicating at all.

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

OK so why are you two just friends now?
How old are the both of you?
If you two have broken up, then you need to not be communicating at all.

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We broke up cause she went out of town to pursue her education that's the only reason why, im 25 she's 23. For me is not easy to accept the "just friends" role, i feel like if i stop talking to her for a while then i can get pass the love thing and can someday be that friend that can talk to her everyday and not have no emotional attachments.

Well if you feel that would help, do it, although at your ages I don't know why you could not continue your relationship and see each other on breaks or weekends. How far away is she?

Looks like you answered your own question :-) I couldn't handle a friendship with a guy I loved and have found that my desire for one usually stems from having more than platonic feelings for the person.

I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself uninterested in friendship with her once you do move on.

This tends to happen whenever you break up with someone and try to be friends before you completely move on. You need to make a clean break and go no contact, tell her how you are feeling, if she is a good friend like you say, she will understand. Move on from the relationship before you can pursue a friendship.

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Originally Posted by homegirl 50

well if you feel that would help, do it, although at your ages i don't know why you could not continue your relationship and see each other on breaks or weekends. How far away is she?

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She's in New York I'm in las vegas, and she comes back out here in October to visit friends and her fambam which would be great to see her again to chill, go out for drinks and dance until we drop like we use to, but my thing is since I haven't really let go of those emotions yet I kind of don't even want to see her when she comes out here cause to me when she leaves to go back to New York its going to hurt just the same as it did when she first left.

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Originally Posted by mmresd

this tends to happen whenever you break up with someone and try to be friends before you completely move on. You need to make a clean break and go no contact, tell her how you are feeling, if she is a good friend like you say, she will understand. Move on from the relationship before you cna pursue a friendship.

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Thanks. To be honest I'm real scared to tell her to not contact me anymore. But I'm going to take your advice and see where this is going to take me. Truthfully I think I'm just being a