I have been married for 8yrs, a female friend(also a coworker) that I have known for 8yrs comes up to me and tells me that she has feelings for me. We start fooling around (no sex) she tells me that she is going to leave her husand and that she loves me and that I'm her everything. I separate from my wife (dont need to be judged I know I am a piece of trash) we then get physical, after a month my wife tells her husband (go wife) and the coworker tells me she had know intentions of ever leaving her husband and she does not love me. My question is, how can a person do this? And how do I get her out of my head? And why she did this?

Tristin, she did this because she is a selfish woman with no regard for others feelings.

How do you get her out of your head? Reread what I just wrote above, over and over again. Remember every waking moment that this woman tempted you, you gave into that temptation, and ultimately it ruined your marriage.

Why did she do this? Reread my first sentence, over and over again.

Did you leave your wife because your marriage was failing? Or did you leave your wife because of this woman's promise?

I think this falls under the old thinking that the grass might be greener on the other side. Lets face it a new woman or man is exciting. Unless you know how to recognize that your relationship needs some rekindling, then your going to fall victim to this over and over again.

Mainly because of her promise, me and my wife are going to consuling to try and repair what I did.

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Originally Posted by kanicky73

I think this falls under the old thinking that the grass might be greener on the other side. Lets face it a new woman or man is exciting. Unless you know how to recognize that your relationship needs some rekindling, then your going to fall victim to this over and over again.

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Before this happened I told my wife that our marriage needed some work she told me we were fine and went to sleep

It is truly a tragedy that your wife didn't see what you were seeing at that time. It is good that your wife is making an attempt at reconciliation. She obviously loves you. Keep going to the marriage counselor.

tristin, we are all tempted at one point or another to stray. What you have to do is keep in mind how much you have to lose when you break your marriage vows. And, keep in mind, that people will tell you whatever they think you want to hear to get what they want, like this other woman. She wasn't honest with you. You made the fatal error of trusting her. Thinking about her is counterproductive. Start focusing on your counseling sessions as I am sure your wife is doing now. You must have loved your wife enough to want to marry her at one time. Find that love again.