Ask Me Help Desk - Married but not happy.

Married but not happy.

I'm married and my husband had a relationship with another women that he worked with for three months. When I found out he said it would stop. It did! He lost his job over it, and now had a new job and has started texting another women that he works with. And he is pretty rude to me and makes me feel bad. Then he apologizes to me and things will go good for a week or to, then right back again.

He like to flirt with every broomstick with skirt that cross his way. That kind of behavior doesn't change, because it makes him feels attractive. Consider compliment him when he do nice stuff or even when he tries but is not the result that you expect, at least be grateful that he's trying. Say how much you like his body, his smell, the way he touches you etc. that way he'll have more reasons to go to you then somebody else. Don't criticize him for insignificant stuff that create resentment against you. Learn how to pick your battles! But definitely you need to talk to him again and ask if he has a reason for it! If you can improve something to make the relationship better. And most important LISTEN to what he said and modify your attitudes, behaviors etc. Don't change for a little bit and then start doing the same wrong things again. Make sure his complains and requirements are not against you morals and values.
Good luck!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuego750

He like to flirt with every broomstick with skirt that cross his way. That kind of behavior doesn't change, because it makes him feels attractive. Consider compliment him when he do nice stuff or even when he tries but is not the result that you expect, at least be grateful that he's trying. Say how much you like his body, his smell, the way he touches you etc. that way he'll have more reasons to go to you then somebody else. Don't criticize him for insignificant stuff that create resentment against you. Learn how to pick your battles!! But definitely you need to talk to him again and ask if he has a reason for it! If you can improve something to make the relationship better. And most important LISTEN to what he said and modify your attitudes, behaviors etc. Don't change for a little bit and then start doing the same wrong things again. Make sure his complains and requirements are not against you morals and values.
Good luck!

Did you actually read the question? He had a relationship with (minimally) one other woman and you are telling his wife how to improve HERself?

You are asking the victim to improve "something" about herself to make the relationship better. How about if he stops fooling around with other women?

Make sure his "complains and requirements" are not against her morals and values?

He cheated - you're blaming the victim.

NO, I'm pretty sure she don't wants to end her marriage by the way she wrote. That's why I give some advise if that's the case, but if I'm her, I will dump him and don't waste my time with him. The issue here is that she's the one with the plm. And we don't know how deep are her feelings for him or if shed is willing to go for a divorce.

QUOTE=JudyKayTee;3233400]Did you actually read the question? He had a relationship with (minimally) one other woman and you are telling his wife how to improve HERself?

You are asking the victim to improve "something" about herself to make the relationship better. How about if he stops fooling around with other women?

Make sure his "complains and requirements" are not against her morals and values?

He cheated - you're blaming the victim.[/QUOTE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuego750

NO, I'm pretty sure she don't wants to end her marriage by the way she wrote. That's why I give some advise if that's the case, but if I'm her, I will dump him and don't waste my time with him. The issue here is that she's the one with the plm. and we don't know how deep are her feelings for him or if shed is willing to go for a divorce.

Agreed - but HE'S the one with the problem. Telling her to improve herself or be what he "wants/needs" in order to hold on to him does nothing but make her already bruised ego even more bruised.

I know that she's the one with the problem. That's why she posted here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Agreed - but HE'S the one with the problem. Telling her to improve herself or be what he "wants/needs" in order to hold on to him does nothing but make her already bruised ego even more bruised.

I know that she's the one with the problem. That's why she posted here.

Well I appreciate both of your responses and you are right I don't want us to separate. We have 7 years together and 5 kids altogether 2 mine and 3 his. And his kids bio mom is not in picture, and I am all those Kid's have. I just want him to love me and treat me the way he used too. We had a relationship that everyone we know envied.