Problem #1 I don't have a back bone.
I hate to disappoint people which makes me stkck my head in the sand.

Anyway I have been dating a man for about 7 years, 2 years ago I let him move into my home. It is close to where he works and the way I see it is free living for him while he hoards away his money- good for him but this is not the issue.. . I want to break up but every time I start going to go in that direction in our conversation he guilts me into staying together. I am a professional, I make my own money, pay my own bills and want someone to be with that makes me happy or I want to be alone. He is manipulative and every time I say I want I do something or go somewhere he laughs and says "you don't like doing that kind of stuff"" your being stupid" or if I say I want to go out with my friends he calls them all drunks. He doesn't even know them. One moment he is sweet and extremely helpful the next he is a complete ! Same goes with my daughter he is sweet with her one minute and then calls her lazy the next minute and then ten minutes later he is helping her with her homework.
The drama goes on... He stated that without him I couldn't make it. That I wouldn't be able to handle my home or make my own decisions . Which is not true. I feel like he has made me think that I would die without him . He also talks about doom and gloom- that if anything where to happen he has everything to live life and more than survive- yes he has a large farm outside of the city but who says that crazy stuff? Also makes fun of my belief in God. He stated that I am " crazy to believe in the scary spoke in the sky". Help! I have many materialist things involved with him and business deals. How do I handle a strong intellect that is manipulating me? I need out of this mess!

If he makes you feel that way then the easiest thing to do would be to break up, as you said. I think the best way to do it would be to ask if you could talk. Then, tell him how he's been making you feel and say that you think it would be beneficial for you both if you could just be friends. Hope that helps, if it doesn't post another note and I'll try to help better :)

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Originally Posted by Michelle10

Problem #1 I don't have a back bone.
I hate to disappoint people which makes me stkck my head in the sand.

Anyway I have been dating a man for about 7 years, 2 years ago I let him move into my home. It is close to where he works and the way I see it is free living for him while he hoards away his money- good for him but this is not the issue. ... I want to break up but everytime I start going to go in that direction in our conversation he guilts me into staying together. I am a professional, I make my own money, pay my own bills and want someone to be with that makes me happy or I want to be alone. He is manipulative and everytime I say I want I do something or go somewhere he laughs and says "you don't like doing that kind of stuff"" your being stupid" or if I say I want to go out with my friends he calls them all drunks. He doesn't even know them. One moment he is sweet and extremely helpful the next he is a complete ! Same goes with my daughter he is sweet with her one minute and then calls her lazy the next minute and then ten minutes later he is helping her with her homework.
The drama goes on... He stated that without him I couldn't make it. That I wouldn't be able to handle my home or make my own decisions . Which is not true. I feel like he has made me think that I would die without him . He also talks about doom and gloom- that if anything where to happen he has everything to live life and more than survive- yes he has a large farm outside of the city but who says that crazy stuff? Also makes fun of my belief in God. He stated that I am " crazy to believe in the scary spoke in the sky". Help! I have many materialist things involved with him and business deals. How do I handle a strong intellect that is manipulating me? I need out of this mess!

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He sounds like he's good at manipulating - probably because this is not his first go around.

I'd be worried about his relationship with my daughter. That alone (sweet one minute, criticizing the next) would cause me to ask him to leave.

What happens if there's no argument, if you just tell him you want him out. If your finances are intertwined, get an Attorney first to sort it out.

I know it's difficult and he'll probably talk rings around you because that's how he operates but I'd tell him he has to go for whatever reason will get the least dramatic response from him.

This will only get worse.