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I met a man at work, I found out later he was married but I had already gotten deep into the relationship. He has done many disresptful things to me, he has stood me up numerous times, too many to count, he lies about where he has been, I have given him an untimatium, and now I haven't heard from him at all , I am so sad and lonely, sometimes I think the bad treatment is better than being this lonely, has anyone gone through this before?
Don't put yourself down for an a**hole like him!!
Jesus, snap out of it!!
He is a 2 timing ba*tard, cheating on his wife with you and who knows how many other women.
STOP all contact with him... refresh your life without him in it... PLEASE
Have some self-respect. This guy is a class A A-hole. He has NO RESPECT WHATSOEVER for you. DO NOT get in touch with him. If he cheats on his wife, he cheated on you. That's why he lied. Do something to get yourself esteem back, but whatever you do, do not go back to this useless scumbag.
I know what it's like to care about someone and they ignore you. I took it for what it was worth, they just were not into being serious with me. I locked myself in the house and pouted for a day. But I got out and hung out with friends, tried to have some fun. It worked for the most part. I think only time makes the hurt go away. You decide he's not worth you being upset over.. no one is. Knowing that he isn't wasting tears on you.. you move on.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
Thanks for your advice all it helpsQuote:
Originally Posted by shimmer6713
Karm- it is so easy for people to say just forget him, he is a loser, blah blah blah. But really we can all sit here and say that, but it is harder for you. Being alone isn't fun, but sometimes even when your with someone you are still alone. Is this the pattern you want to continue? To be second best, to be on the back burner? You deserve to be front and center, you are no ones second choice. Get out there! Find yourself someone that will put you where you belong. The more you learn to respect yourself, the more that will show and you will attract men who can see the confident women that you are. Remember, every women has the same love life they want. Make a change for yourself because no one will do it for you. Good Luck
The pain and sadness you feel of loneliness is far less and much better in the long run than the pain you would have felt if you would have stayed with married man.
Read the hundreds of other threads here where women are involved with married men. It ALWAYS ends in disaster. At least for the ones who come here.
The sadness and loneliness you feel now will eventually dissipate and you will come out the other side a much better and stronger person. The pain you would have felt by staying with a married man would have been permanent because you were always going to be his No. 2, or even 3 or 4 for that matter!
You could...
A) Forget him! He's a jerk. And hey if you're with him, how can Mr. Right ask you out?
B) Go on disrespecting yourself, and stay with him. I think you should respect yourself enough to leave him.
C) Stab him in the back by collecting evidence that he's cheating on his wife and find a way to tell her. Really mean, but hey I'd do it. And then of course you should move on afterwards.
D) Feel like a loser.
If you picked B and D... you're just hurting yourself.
The bad treatment is not better than the feelings now. You should have left him when you found out he was married. No matter how deep into the relationship you were with him, that relationship was based on a complete lie anyway. You were just his other woman. Probably one of many. You need to just move on and next time try not to rush into a relationship with someone you don't know You gave him an ultimatum and he didn't choose you, it sucks but a relaitonship with a married man would never have worked out anyway. Be glad you got out when you did.
He IS married and you gave him an ultimatum? What did you really think would happen? Honestly, I can see what you wanted to happen, but did you deep down in your heart believe he would leave his family and come to you?
Here he was, having his cake and eating it too. He lies to you, is disrespectful to you, stands you up on "dates", you already know he is an adulterer and yet you want him in your life. Think on that. Why would you want that kind of man in your life? He is cheating on his wife - he most likely cheated on her before you came into his life - and when you finally tell him to leave you alone - he will find another woman. It is the pattern of a cheater. The Pattern!
That old saying, "even a bad love is better than no love at all" is pure rubbish, an absolute lie, and one of the greatest shams in a relationship. What does being hurt all the time do? There is nothing positive in being treated like a commodity.
You need to work on your own self esteem. This guy is not worth any of the kleenix you have used to dry your tears. You deserve better than him. But you need to believe that. If you cannot see that now, then you really do need some professional help in order for you to see your patterns of destructive behavior/relationships and how to avoid them in the future. You are worth much more than this guy can ever give you. I hope you find your inner strength and go forward with your own life. Minus this guy.
He's freaking married!! Hello!!
He'll never leave his wife!!
This is SOOOOOOOOOOOO unhealthy for you.
Married guys WILL lie, cheat and steal from you JUST to sleep with you.
Why don't these women get this??
He is a MASSIVE JERK!! RUN!!
Married = deal breaker. He doesn't care for you.
Find a healthy - AVAILABLE GUY!!
AND the ultimatium?? That's hilarious!!
HE'S MARRIED!! Hello??
You are the mistress - not his girlfriend.
NEVER get in a situation where you can't tell everything to your parents, friends, people at work etc.
Did I mention he's MARRIED!!
Would you feel better about yourself if you knew you contributed to this man's family falling apart? If you ever want to recover the dignity you lost when this sorry excuse for a man disrespected you, you will leave him and never speak or mess with another married man again. If you didn't know in the beginning that he was married, you know now and you can correct it now. I believe that part of the crummy feeling you have is because you know you're doing something wrong. It's not too late, fix it.
Mom - I'd try and spread the love, but I can't.
I don't know ONE situation where a women is seeing a married man that works out wel... EVEN IF they do marry one day... another family was broken - most likely because of the mistress.
This is NEVER a good thing. Never.
Get this man out of your head.
I know what you mean. My boss is in love with his wife but spends a lot of time letting me knowq he has feelings for me. I care a lot about him but have met his wife and know that she is a great woman and means the world to him.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
I'm confused. What do you expect from a liar and cheater, but misery and pain??
Hey obviously he stood you up because he wit his wifey GIRL! Don't mess wit a married man not only is that wrong to his wife but also its not fair to you. Don't continue to talk to someone who is married in the beginning you didn't know but now you do and you should cut him off completely. Think... would you want someone messin wit your man?. exactly so don't do it to them. One day he will get caught and get what he deserves or his wife will cheat on him... WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND!!
You will get over the hurt and pain , you are better off without him such a jerk ! He mistreated you with disrespect and obviously values his marriage or someone else rather than you .
But then again any person that wants a little fun even though they have a partner and don't believe in loyality etc are jerks or that .
I hope that you find someone that deserves you , the loneliness u feel is from not having a partner around to be with you , even if he did bully you or that .
Go out with friends stay aay from him at work if you can if you still feeel this way6 get a new start away from this guy get a new job.
Meet nicer guys go out meet someone worthy of you and good luck with your choices.
I am going to answer this in a different fashion. A little different than my normal "dating a married man" rant.
Don't you think that by being with you he is being disrespectful to his wife and family?Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
Hun, he stood you up to be with his wife and family because he has an obligation to them.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
And do you think he tells his wife the truth when he is with you?Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
Never, ever give anyone an ultimatum if you are not prepared to handle the consequences.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
He took you up on your ultimatum. You should have been prepared for that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
Never is bad treatment better than being lonely. He was abusing his vows to his wife. You can be sure he would do that to you too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Karmalarma
Here's the deal these gals that fool around with married guys - and let these married guys string them along... some times for years - what a waste.
THEY CHEATED ON THEIR WIFE!! THEY WILL CHEAT ON YOU ONE DAY IF IT GETS TO THAT.
Oh they all say the right things... they're good at it. They find women with low self esteem and prey on them.
Just an example... and I've seen this over and over... women do this too...
My sister first husband cheated on her a lot... eventually divorced... 2 kids... he NOW cheats on his current wife and they are about to divorce.
Seen this 1 million times.
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