My spouse wants to have a ménage à trois and I agreed to disagree... Its something he has wanted to do for sometime now. I explain to him that I would give him a pass but he insist that I be involve... I have no major issue with this however, if the women try to pleasure me I'm sure she will want to be pleasured back by me and I just don't see myself doing so... but out of obligation I guess that takes me back to the drawing board... giving him a once in a life time pass. What bothers me the most is how is it that men and women can pleasure each other without protection but put a condom on when its time to get to the dirty?? Just doesn't make since this is a conversation me and the spouse briefly talked about last night. Help me understand that. I think that its just nasty. I don't know maybe I'm not ready for this... if he goes down on her I will never want to kiss him again even though he is not a big kisser I will think about this ladies VJJ on his lips... maybe I'm just freaking out... I tend to over anal-yze (LOL ) things a lot... as he continuously tells me all the time. He says lets just go and have fun with it. I was okay with this but as the day approached us I'm getting cold feet EKKKKK! I'm just venting right now but I'm open to all of your kind and harsh comments. Hey you're on here too so don't judge me LOL I'm only human :-)

You're all over the place here. :-)

First of all if you're not comfortable with it than don't do it. If you're not comfortable with your husband doing it, than let him know that and the consequences of doing it without your permission. IE, divorce, cleaning him out, children begging on the street, cats living with dogs, and the end of civilization as we know it. Well maybe two of the above.

If you do go through it, make sure there are ground rules. Condoms, rubber gloves, dental dams, and what can or cannot be done. These are the rules. If they're broken everything is off and stop. Regardless of your involvement these rules are required.

Lastly the third, or the second and third. Shouldn't be someone you know, that will make things awkward and open up doors for a second encounter or an unknown encounter after the fact. Place personal/craiglist ads for the extra parties. Interview and make sure they're safe. Make sure they know the rules and make sure that they won't break them. Make sure they'll fit into the fantasy and make sure that know that things WON'T go sideways.

Why do men what threesomes. It is something that doesn't happen and seems like it would be fun. Having two girls service them, I am not ashamed to say that I would like to have that experience. It seems sexy. Will I ever have it? No. I value my relationship too much, and it is okay that it will never happen.

If you're not comfortable with the idea of your husband putting his penis in another woman. Don't do this. It is good that you're willing to try, but realize it could REALLY end horribly.

Good luck.

Hmmm... speaking from a voice of experience in my younger days.

How about... "because we can."


Incidentally in all the times I did it with two women... it was always at their asking.



You can also look at it as a BIG bowl of Stew VS a 5 course meal... both are filling... both can be very, very good... also you can only eat so much... but the five course meal offers a bigger variety in flavors.

If you don't really want to, this will ruin your relationship, since you will never get over it.

You have to be free and allow a open relationship. While many men talk about this, seldom do they really want it, and very few really do it.

I have almost never seen or known anyone that did this, where it did not end their relationship shortly.

After reading our other thread (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...on-681570.html), I think you need to work on your marriage.

Threesomes should be the last of your worries right now.

Reading you rother post I think I see a picture developing.

A. Marriage kind of going downhill after 15 years and 4 kids later.

B. Husband starts getting bored.

C. Lets have a threesome to spice things up?

Does that sound about right? Let me be the first to tell you that, assumption here, you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

You don't involve another person into something like this when you two can't even make it work. How is adding more people to the mix going to fix you 2? It's not!

If this is really to just spice things up. I would love to give you some ideas :). What? I'm young and married and have done a few things. I'm only human too.

Good Luck! Let us know!

Let me toss in... I never did this as a married man... I did it while casually dating... HUGE difference there.

You don't have to do anything you don't want to do...

I think multiple threads on this same issue help no one, including the person asking the question.

OP has already consented to the 3-some. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/marria...on-681570.html

Combining posts would help explain the circumstances.