I met this amazing girl about 3 to 4 months ago and she is the best thing that's happened to me but, I have recently discovered that she had a past boyfriend of about 3 to 4 years. She has told me they have had a lot of sex, I myself was a virgin when meeting her, and not used to the idea of that. I still have great feelings for this girl, but the idea she had been with another man, and for that long and that much, makes me very uneasy and since then always thinking of it. My question is, what are ways I could move on from this? Or any other methods or any kind that I should do to fix this? Please I need help, I LOVE this girl and want to make things work. I just can't seem to let this go...

Then if you love her let it go and stop letting it bother you. It was in the past and you can't change that and you need to accept it for what it is or leave because if you can't handle it, it doesn't get any easier.

I was a virgin when I met my girlfriend in high school, she had many other boyfriends in which she had done many things with them. I'm still with her to this day, and we are happier than ever, because I accepted that it's in the past and that it was before me.

If you have sex with her and end up breaking up, then guess what, now you have a past.

Read this. This was the first question I asked when I joined this wonderful site. It's much like yours. There is great advice on it, and it helped me come to my senses.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...ne-659438.html

The issue, so break up with her and how do you answer that, to the next girl you date who is a virgin and now does not want to be with you.

Perhaps, that the old relationship is over. If they wanted to be with the other person they would. The you are putting too much importance on sex and not enough on the emotional side of the relationship.
Or you are being too juv and have to understand that a relationship is the NOW and the FUTURE, if you live in the past you ruin the future.

I'll answer this with a woman's view.
I met the love of my life when I was a sexually experienced 32 and he was a virgin at 25. I didn't know that right away, not being the kind of person who thinks love means having to blurt out every little bit of your life in one fell swoop - or even ever - like some sort of biographical confessional. I think there was a bit of jealousy over my most recent boyfriend, not surprising because I was working for him. I was actually jealous (a bit) of a beautiful girl he had pictures of. Letters from, and still used her 3 initials as his password, but they had never been lovers. There you have it - somewhat ordinary and normal, and most of us get over it as we CREATE NEW MEMORIES. If you can't live with what you have here and now, knowing that is what someone else might be jealous of someday, you need more help, some serious therapy. Your girlfriend loves YOU, not the one she isn't with, right? Why ruin that love with one of the most destructive of emotions?

I realize that I am the problem, not her. And I know and want to move on from this because I still love this girl, I just needed someone to tell me that I guess. Now I just have to work on letting it go... any other ideas or helpful ways through this?

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Originally Posted by joypulv

I'll answer this with a woman's view.
I met the love of my life when I was a sexually experienced 32 and he was a virgin at 25. I didn't know that right away, not being the kind of person who thinks love means having to blurt out every little bit of your life in one fell swoop - or even ever - like some sort of biographical confessional. I think there was a bit of jealousy over my most recent boyfriend, not surprising because I was working for him. I was actually jealous (a bit) of a beautiful girl he had pictures of. letters from, and still used her 3 initials as his password, but they had never been lovers. There you have it - somewhat ordinary and normal, and most of us get over it as we CREATE NEW MEMORIES. If you can't live with what you have here and now, knowing that is what someone else might be jealous of someday, you need more help, some serious therapy. Your girlfriend loves YOU, not the one she isn't with, right? Why ruin that love with one of the most destructive of emotions?

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I don't believe that I need serious if any therapy, I just needed another persons outlook and advice, and I realize that she loves me and vice versa not that other guy. Just needed someone to tell me that...

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Originally Posted by ineedadvicepls

I dont believe that i need serious if any therapy, i just needed another persons outlook and advice, and i realize that she loves me and vice versa not that other guy. Just needed someone to tell me that...

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That's what I needed too. If you're like me, you don't have anyone to really talk to about it do you?

We're always her to kick you in the butt, we're just a URL away.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

That's what I needed too. If you're like me, you don't have anyone to really talk to about it do you?

We're always her to kick you in the butt, we're just a URL away.

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Yes that's exactly it, and by the way thanks for the help, that's all I needed. Im already moving on and excited for the future... =]

Hey man I feel your pain. I was feeling the same feeling for about one year and a half of my relationship with my current girlfriend. But now I feel so much better that is why I just created this account to help people like me. Here's what I did. I realized that my girlfriend was there for me and everything in life happens for a reason. If you believe in God do what I did and say to yourself and to God thank you for the person that he has brought into your life. All the things that happened before you are insignificant and it only prepared you and your girlfriend to work out better together and to love and appreciate each other more. This girl is with you now because she believes that you are more attractive funnier and a better person than the rest of the guys she has met. The past happened when she was younger and naiive and she was only looking for a reason to feel and be loved. You my friend are the golden gem. This girl can now finally just love you for you and be loved by you. Growing up every person boy or girl goes through this stage brought up by society that makes us think that sexual things is pleasure and its happiness and its love. Unfortunately we fall into thinking that sexual pleasures are a substitute for love. True love is caring for somebody and adoring them for who they are and how they act with you. Our girlfriends sexual past is just a sign to us of a time when they were lost and thought that through sexual things they could be truelly loved. Thankgod for the girl that he has brought into your life. Write down on a piece of paper as I have been for the past 3 days( my first three days of acceptance and FINALLY happiness =). Write down I accept ____ name of your girl. Because you are my everything . Just state your feelings as to why you should accept her and forgive her. Do this when you feel hurt. Also don't be afraid to feel pain just make sure you make yourself better and you talk to yourself and think rational and write down why you accept her. The more you do this the less pain you feel. It took my girlfriend to cry in front of me because she felt that I didn't accept her to finally wake me up. Acceptance is a long road my friend but it gets easier everyday. Love your girlfriend and remember the past was a time when she lost and fell pray to societies standards. Have a true relationship in Gods name. Value each other for each other not sexual deeds. I love you brother I'm here for you and I give you props for fighting this its caused me a lot of sad nights myself. But lets do this man lets climb this and enjoy our lives with our beautiful amazing girlfriends! Lets not Let the ONE FOR US SLIP AWAY because of something so silly. Who knows man . Maybe this is gods trick to see if we truelly desearve the present which he has given us. LETS shout to god I accept thank you very much!! Good day my friend