Ask Me Help Desk - Help me?

I'm gay, have been all my life, have known since I was very young. Some people say being gay is a choice, well that is so ing wrong. Being obese is a choice, having plastic surgery is a choice, but being gay is not a choice. It is a nature in humans that was always meant to be. But that is not the issue, my issue is liking someone who is a guy, not knowing weather he's gay or not.

I'm in my last year of school, this guy, his names Pat, is amazing, funny, charismatic, personality that has me fluttering, eyes that are as pure as the sea itself. He's my age, 17, yet I need to know if he's gay or not, because what I'm feeling for him is not just some school crush, it's more than that, it's closer to love more than anything. We've had the occasional eye contact, one where we both blushed at each other, he's talked to me, kind of the only few in my school who has. Me being the loner and all makes it that much harder. I can't just come clean to him and tell him my feelings, that is just to hard right now, and considering our school coming to an end, I have that feeling that I won't see him again, and that feeling is really killing me. It's depressing me in ways I can't explain. I have no friends to talk to about this, and really need someone to listen to, don't just give me some useless advice, saying "Ohh come clean about it, it's better that way, blablabla", it's really not much use. I need someone in my situation, you know what I mean? Who understands what I'm going through.

This is an answer site, not a chat room. You say you don't want advice, just someone to listen, someone in the same boat? You are less likely to find that person here than on a gay chat site.
You do say you don't want USELESS advice, so does this mean you get to define what advice might be helpful? Nope. You take what you want and leave what you want. That's what advice means. You've already turned me off by telling us you sort of want advice but don't really, because the usual advice of revealing your feelings isn't what you want to hear - WHAT ELSE IS THERE?
Do you get it? Either you want advice or you want to commiserate with someone, so please pick one or the other.
I'm sounding harsh not because I don't feel for you but because you need a bit of a kick.

It is foolish to go through life hiding feelings, although delicate feelings do need careful planning before expressing them. If you want advice with THAT, please say so.

I've asked for help from people that understand me, obviousy you don't, so why bother posting a reply like this. Anyway, what I intended was advice that really does help, not useless advice like the everyday props, I need advice from someone in my position, particularly going through what I am, understands me. OK.

"yet I need to know if he's gay or not..." There's only really one way to find out right? Just ask him. Perhaps not directly, but indirectly try to find out. Sounds he isn't from your class, and you haven't talked to him either. It requires mustering up some courage to indicate to him that you're interested, and if he is attracted to the same sex I think he'd pick up on it... You don't have too much to loose since school is closing to an end, so you might as well be 'bold' and when you see him, ask him casually if he's attracted to the same sex (e.g. "are you attracted to men"). I think that's pretty straightforward, and he'll give you (I think?) an honest answer. Don't worry, he won't shoot you down if he isn't.

Hope that was helpful...

But the thing is, mustering that courage is so hard for people like me, especially a student in a school. I might make a fool of myself, asking outright... This is just hard, because he is the first person I'm attracted to, and that's saying something from me...

That's why it is called courage mate... Do it in a relatively private setting, it's between two people so in worst case you would only make a fool out of yourself to 1 person, and it's the one you like. Try to talk to him casually, just as in any crush on situation. It's not the end of the world. You either do it, or you don't, and then you'll just question yourself what could've been. It's a pretty normal situation to be in irrespective of same sex or opposite sex attraction... Want to find out.. (Sounds like you do), there's only one way.

See?

You are so full of misconceptions and assumptions about who you 'need' to give you advice, about who 'obviously doesn't understand you' and so on, it boggles the mind.

Oh go away idiot, like I said, useless advice like yours isn't wanted, now leave.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigNavySeal

That's why it is called courage mate... Do it in a relatively private setting, it's between two people so in worst case you would only make a fool out of yourself to 1 person, and it's the one you like. Try to talk to him casually, just as in any crush on situation. It's not the end of the world. You either do it, or you don't, and then you'll just question yourself what could've been. It's a pretty normal situation to be in irrespective of same sex or opposite sex attraction... Wanna find out...? (Sounds like you do), there's only one way.

It's just too hard...