Ask Me Help Desk - Have I been played? Was I just a game?

Hi, I am so confused and need some help!
I recently was approached by this gorgeous guy that kept coming into the shop I work in. He has been going on at me over the past month how "fit" and "good looking" he thinks I am. My mum works in the shop and he even has banter with her about me! Then one day he asks me for my Facebook (even though I am in a relationship) I give to him!
So we start chatting then we connect in whatssapp he knows I have a boyfriend but us very persistent how much he likes me, I really like him to. He says all the right things, we meet for a coffee, he goes on about how he would love to have the chance to start a relationship with me! So then he is meeting me in the shop having chats in the evening. He then meets me out at the circus with his little boy and my daughter and my mum was there. So eventually I give I and we have evening out but he planned to take me to a few bars! He didn't sink at all but kePt buying me them.
Si now you am drunk and still in a relationship with a guy that's telling me how much he likes me and how he never Persues anyone but I'm diff and how I could be "the one". I go back to his, we kiss but I stopped it at that point! The next day he lovely still. So I split with my boyfriend thinking from what this guy is telling me we are going to start dating and blossom into a relationship, so we go put again a day after this evening we double date with his friend, now this lad was coldih with me kind of ignores me I thought cause his friend was there! Anyway we leave early, and he wants to come in mine, so I am drunk Agree and we have sex, more like his just throwing me about the room like a rag doll! No cuddle after and only a little one in the morning! So he leaves for work! I don't hear from him much! And not at all that evening. And now I still havt saw hin again also after that first meet up for coffee I thought he deleted me on fb I asked him he said he had felted it altogether which I know no is a lie he has just blocked me from searching him which is strange! I am so confused please help me to get this into perspective! I feel humiliated

He got what he wanted and then left.
Hit and run.
How old are you?

I'm 26 I apologise for the atrocious spelling and punctuation it was 2am when I decided on writing this!

So it was as u expected he had fed me all the bull to get something he wanted!
He is still on my whatsapp do I dekted

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leigh1234

I'm 26 I apologise for the atrocious spelling and punctuation it was 2am when i decided on writing this!

So it was as u expected he had fed me all the bull to get something he wanted!
He is still on my whatsapp do I dekted

I meant do I delete him? I am so embarrassed he drives pasty shop everyday! Please help

Yes you delete him and you never talk to him again.
He may come back after a while with some sob story as to why he left you hanging. Don't believe it. Tell him to get lost.

I would consider stop drinking and not talking to him again,

Quote:

Hi, I am so confused and need some help!
I recently was approached by this gorgeous guy that kept coming into the shop I work in. He has been going on at me over the past month how "fit" and "good looking" he thinks I am. My mum works in the shop and he even has banter with her about me! Then one day he asks me for my Facebook (even tho I am in a relationship) I give to him!
So we start chatting then we connect in whatssapp he knows I have a bf but us very persistent how much he likes me, I really like him to. He says all the right things, we meet for a coffee, he goes on about how he would love to have the chance to start a relationship with me! So then he is meeting me in the shop having chats in the evening. He then meets me out at the circus with his little boy and my daughter and my mum was there. So eventually I give I and we have evening out but he planned to take me to a few bars! He didn't sink at all but kePt buying me them.
Si now u am drunk and still in a relationship with a guy that's telling me how much he likes me and how he never Persues anyone but I'm diff and how I could be "the one". I go back to his, we kiss but I stopped it at that point! The next day he lovely still. So I split with my bf thinking from what this guy is telling me we are going to start dating and blossom into a relationship, so we go put again a day after this evening we double date with his friend, now this lad was coldih with me kind of ignores me I thought cause his friend was there! Anyway we leave early, and he wants to come in mine, so I am drunk Agree and we have sex, more like his just throwing me about the room like a rag doll! No cuddle after and only a little one in the morning! So he leaves for work! I don't hear from him much! And not at all that evening. And now I still havt saw hin again also after that first meet up for coffee I thought he deleted me on fb I asked him he said he had felted it altogether which I know no is a lie he has just blocked me from searching him which is strange! I am so confused please help me to get this into perspective! I feel humiliated

This will probably seem harsh, but I really want you to think about your behavior instead of his.

You allowed yourself to be used. Why? What was wrong in your relationship that made you think getting involved with someone new would be a good idea? You set yourself up for the fall. You caused your own confusion and humiliation.

Now, you can fix it by fixing yourself.

First, get tested for sexually transmitted diseases/infections. There is no telling how many other women he has had sex with or if you can trust that he was 'clean'. I hope you made certain to use birth control.

Second, ignore him and anything he says and does. If he has anything to say, it affects him, too. So hold your head up high and go on with your life as though he never entered it.

Third, look at why you fell for his line. What void was he filling? How can you fill that void and in the process become a more secure and stronger woman? What can you do to give yourself support so that you don't repeat this behavior? What can you do to keep your future relationships from getting to the point of you thinking it is okay to cheat before moving on? If you are not happy in a relationship, let it go. Do not hold on to it until something better comes along. It generally turns out that the 'something better' isn't as you found out in this case.

Don't worry about being in a relationship with anyone other than yourself and your daughter. Give yourself ways to be happy whether there is man in your life or not. Do not attempt to slide from one relationship into another one again. It is damaging to your self-respect and I highly doubt you would want your daughter to think that is how relationships work.

I sincerely hope you find happiness in yourself and you aren't (or don't) look for it in others. Let them enhance what is already inside you. Please, don't expect anyone else to make you whole.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cat1864

This will probably seem harsh, but I really want you to think about your behavior instead of his.

You allowed yourself to be used. Why? What was wrong in your relationship that made you think getting involved with someone new would be a good idea? You set yourself up for the fall. You caused your own confusion and humiliation.

Now, you can fix it by fixing yourself.

First, get tested for sexually transmitted diseases/infections. There is no telling how many other women he has had sex with or if you can trust that he was 'clean'. I hope you made certain to use birth control.

Second, ignore him and anything he says and does. If he has anything to say, it affects him, too. so hold your head up high and go on with your life as though he never entered it.

Third, look at why you fell for his line. What void was he filling? How can you fill that void and in the process become a more secure and stronger woman? What can you do to give yourself support so that you don't repeat this behavior? What can you do to keep your future relationships from getting to the point of you thinking it is okay to cheat before moving on? If you are not happy in a relationship, let it go. Do not hold on to it until something better comes along. It generally turns out that the 'something better' isn't as you found out in this case.

Don't worry about being in a relationship with anyone other than yourself and your daughter. Give yourself ways to be happy whether there is man in your life or not. Do not attempt to slide from one relationship into another one again. It is damaging to your self-respect and I highly doubt you would want your daughter to think that is how relationships work.

I sincerely hope you find happiness in yourself and you aren't (or don't) look for it in others. Let them enhance what is already inside you. Please, don't expect anyone else to make you whole.

Use all are completely right. I have never done anything like this before I suppose things with my boyfriend had been rocky for a while. I was flattered by this guy, I don't know why he was any different from any other guy hitting on me! Perhaps because he never gave up, I shouldn't even be asking for sympathy I brought it on myself like you said.

I have learned by it, believe me. That was, I suppose my first "one night stand" and last!

That guy has opened my eyes to how far a guy will go, I honestly didn't think any guy would go So far!
I deserve everything I got

Quote:

Originally Posted by Leigh1234

Use all are completely right. I have never done anything like this before I suppose things with my bf had been rocky for a while. I was flattered by this guy, I don't no why he was any different from any other guy hitting on me! Perhaps because he never gave up, I shouldn't even be asking for sympathy I brought it on my self like u said.

I have learned by it, believe me. That was, I suppose my first "one night stand" and last!

That guy has opened my eyes to how far a guy will go, I honestly didn't think any guy would go So far!
I deserve everything I got

I am not saying you deserve it. I am saying you can change it.

It was a lesson in life and relationships. You learn from it and move forward. Like a physical injury, you learn how to not injure yourself the same way again, you heal, and you move on being more careful.

Like a cut or scrape, don't pick at the scab. Kicking yourself over and over again or holding on the negative thoughts and feelings will keep the injury open and raw causing you more pain and damage. Try not to do that to yourself. Let yourself heal, learn what to look out for and you will be stronger than you were before this happened.

Good luck.

That's a hit it and quit it

Quote:

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yes you delete him and you never talk to him again.
He may come back after a while with some sob story as to why he left you hanging. Don't believe it. Tell him to get lost.

Help... He keeps driving past waving at me and coming in to the shop. Saying I am the one who has gone weird on him... What I'm confused?

You ignore him. He sees you as a weakling and someone he can suck in again. Ignore him.