Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend won't have sex with me no more... WHY?

Hey I just want to take a second to thank you for reading my problems...

Im 27 years old and my girlfriend is 25 we've been together 4 months now but we were friends for 4 years before we finally made it official. At first we had a lot of sex daily sex, foreplay and what not. We moved into a apartment together and the sex has stopped to once a week if that. I don't know if I'm like the "BEST" sex partner she has had but I doubt I am. I try to please her with oral sex because I know I don't have the largest penis to please her but she does say I make her "" Is this a problem or is there something else that could be going wrong with her or is it me?

If you could give me an answer that would be great thank you!

Okay, I have a few questions.

Do you have any idea why she doesn't want to have sex?

Has her overall attitude in general changed towards you?

Have you had any problems in the relationship, except for the lack of sex?

Four whole months... dang, that's practically a lifetime.

How about maybe the lust phase wore off a lot quicker for her and she realised you aren't all that much as a couple. Just because you were good friends doesn't mean you would make a good couple... few actually do.

Remember... the world doesn't revolve around you, or even have to be about you. She decided she didn't want it any more for whatever reason she has... and that's telling me she just hasn't found a way to tell you its really not working yet... hoping you are going to take the que.

It's completely normal to not be able to keep your hands off each other for the first several months a couple is sexually active.

It's also completely normal for that to eventually taper off to once or twice a week.

For guys, sex is like pizza. Even if it's bad, it's still pretty good. All guys have a favorite type of pizza and even pizza place, but it's all pizza and pizza is awesome.

For women, it's way more complicated. Sex is about bonding - that's a biological fact. When a new sexual relationship begins, we want to bond as much as possible (within reason - we still have school/work, friends, and reality TV - HELLO). Once we feel as though we're sufficiently bonded, the frequency tapers off - especially if you're expecting the us to initiate all the time.

So if once a week isn't good enough, you're going to have to take it up a knotch. We're going to need some extra attention to get us excited for extra bonding. Women who feel secure in their relationship and attractive are the best lovers. Reminding us now and then how sexy we are, and how much you love and care about us AWAY from the bedroom is a good start.

What's the best way to show you care? It's not flowers, or jewelry, or chocolate (although those things are awesome). Nothing makes us want you more than when you do something around the house before we mention it. If you take out the trash, do the laundry, or fix something that's broken, we sense you nurturing the relationship - and THAT is a very powerful aphrodisiac for a woman.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oneoffew

Okay, I have a few questions.

Do you have any idea why she doesn't want to have sex?

Has her overall attitude in general changed towards you?

Have you had any problems in the relationship, except for the lack of sex?

Yeah her attitude is change towards me. And yeah we do have some problems in the relationship. TRUST is a big one she's doesn't trust me and I gave her no reason to not to trust me I've never done her wrong in the 4 months we've been together but she knows I was a bit of a player before we were together but I put a ring on her finger and we always talked about marrying each other but we just wasn't officially boyfriend/girlfriend type of people back when we first met each other we didn't want to be in a relationship .We argue sometimes but when its good its good when its bad its bad I don't know if this will help you out with explaining my problems

Quote:

Originally Posted by anillaK7

It's completely normal to not be able to keep your hands off of each other for the first several months a couple is sexually active.

It's also completely normal for that to eventually taper off to once or twice a week.

For guys, sex is like pizza. Even if it's bad, it's still pretty good. All guys have a favorite type of pizza and even pizza place, but it's all pizza and pizza is awesome.

For women, it's way more complicated. Sex is about bonding - that's a biological fact. When a new sexual realtionship begins, we want to bond as much as possible (within reason - we still have school/work, friends, and reality tv - HELLO). Once we feel as though we're sufficiently bonded, the frequency tapers off - especially if you're expecting the us to initiate all the time.

So if once a week isn't good enough, you're going to have to take it up a knotch. We're going to need some extra attention to get us excited for extra bonding. Women who feel secure in their relationship and attractive are the best lovers. Reminding us now and then how sexy we are, and how much you love and care about us AWAY from the bedroom is a good start.

What's the best way to show you care? It's not flowers, or jewelry, or chocolate (although those things are awesome). Nothing makes us want you more than when you do something around the house before we mention it. If you take out the trash, do the laundry, or fix something that's broken, we sense you nurturing the relationship - and THAT is a very powerful aphrodisiac for a woman.

I like your answer but I honestly do all that mushy stuff and I also do the man work around the house I do laundry I do fix stuff when its broken I do buy her them things I write her little notes on the mirror I express myself on how much I love her and adore her I tell her she's beautiful and gorgeous and I go that extra mile when were not arguing to let her know she's special to me, I don't know what else to do other than just break the relationship off and get my diamond ring I gave to her and move on to the next or is this something I should try and work on?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Florida813

I like your answer but i honestly do all that mushy stuff and i also do the man work around the house i do laundry i do fix stuff when its broken i do buy her them things i write her little notes on the mirror i express myself on how much i love her and adore her i tell her shes beautiful and gorgeous and i go that extra mile when were not arguing to let her know shes special to me, I dont know what else to do other than just break the relationship off and get my diamond ring i gave to her and move on to the next or is this something i should try and work on?

If you're going to leave her because she's only having sex with you once a week, please, get on with it. There's a lot more to a relationship than sex, and if you feel you're already doing all you can to please her and make her want to be with you, then save both of you the time and trouble.

See I'm getting a lot of mixxed messages from people someone told me sex is part to keep a relationship together. I don't know if I want to leave her because I truly do love this woman that's why I'm on here trying to get suggestions on how to make it work and I just wanted to see if the reason we're not having sex is it because were just arguing or is it she just doesn't care to have sex with me anymore?

If you fight about much and by much I mean about anything more than once every month or two... its time to rethink the relationship. If you are at odds daily or even weekly... the last thing you want or need is a kid or a marriage.

You don't "MAKE" something work that's disfunctional to begin with... thats what many divorced people tried and failed at...

A relationship does take work to keep it fresh... but if its an ongoing struggle just to keep it together... then its best to go your separate ways... If ANYTHING is wrong 4 months into it... its only going to get much, MUCH worse as time goes on.