Ask Me Help Desk - I'm 16 and my girlfriend is 14 and she's a virgin and she says she's ready for sex

I'm 16 and my girlfriend is 14 and she's a virgin and she says she's ready for sex

I'm 16 and she's 14 grade 11 and grade 9 my birthday js February and hers is August we have been dating for a month and both parents are completely OK with it my parents like her and her parents like me anyway what I want to know is if it's legal for us to have sex or not she says she's ready but I think we should wait cause she's a virgin and I want her first time to be very special we both love each other a lot and we seem perfect for each other I promised to wait for her when I finish high school and another thing is what are the chances of it working because of the age/grade difference I'll be graduating when she's in grade 10 but I'm probably going to redue some grade 11 courses next year so I can go to university so if I do that I'll graduate when she's in grade 11

You're both too young to be having sex. Are you ready to be a father? Is she ready to be a mother? Both of you should wait.

Well u should have sex with her if she is sure she is ready though take it really slowly and always remind her that u will stop any time she want you too, tell me how it goes

Quote:

Originally Posted by odinn7

You're both too young to be having sex. Are you ready to be a father? Is she ready to be a mother? Both of you should wait.

We're going to use a condom and I'm going to make sure she's on the pill

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calecrotty

We're going to use a condom and I'm gonna make sure she's on the pill

Oh wait... so now you're going to do it? In your first post, you went on about how you weren't going to but now you've already planned it out.

So she's on the pill, is she? Really? Are you sure? And you're going to use a condom... hmmm... No form of birth control is 100% effective.

Quote:

Originally Posted by clareAD2000

well u should have sex with her if she is sure she is ready though take it really slowly and always remind her that u will stop any time she want you too, tell me how it goes

at first we agreed on waiting at least a year but lately we've been doing things (playing with her boobs and things like that) and she said she's been getting really horny and yesterday we were camping and we did some things like I played with her boobs and we dry ed and when I went into my tent to sleep she said if we wanted to have sex where would we do it and we talked about all that and when we first started dating I promised not to pressure her into Anythjng and she knows I want to have sex with her and I don't want her to have sex just cause I want to do it I don't want to ruin anything I love her so much

In most areas (ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.) the age of consent is 16 or higher so sex with her is likely to be illegal.

Second, one month is not enough to know if one is truly in love. You are both pretty young t o be making a lifetime commitment. The odds are against you that this relationship will last. I would also be very worried about a girl who tells you she is ready to have sex after dating for a month.

You are smart for wanting to wait, but not because she is a virgin. First, because she is "jail bait" and second because both she and you are unprepared to have a child. No one should engage in sexual intercourse until they are physically, emotionally and financially ready to have a child. Both of you fail those tests.

But I can settle this easily. You say; " both parents are completely ok with it" referring to your dating. So ask her parents whether its OK for you to become sexually active. What's that you say? You can't do that? Well then you can't become sexually active.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calecrotty

We're going to use a condom and I'm gonna make sure she's on the pill

You are aware that no form of contraception is 100%. We have members here who got pregnant using three forms of protection. Also how are you going to make sure she is on the pill. You are aware that any birth control medication requires a doctor's prescription. So how is she going to get a prescription? And how are you going to ensure she takes it properly?

You are sounding more and more like a horny teen who is thinking with his sexual organs and not his brain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by clareAD2000

well u should have sex with her if she is sure she is ready though take it really slowly and always remind her that u will stop any time she want you too, tell me how it goes

We do not condone or allow illegal advice here. Advising a 16 yr old to have sex with a 14 yr old is illegal advice.

"both parents are completely OK with it my parents like her and her parents like me anyway "

"Anyway"? That sounds like your parents are okay with you two being friends, but are they okay with dating? They know you plan to have sex?

And you two are ready to be parents? No university will happen then.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calecrotty

lately weve been doing things (playing with her boobs and things like that) ... we did some things like I played with her boobs and we dry ed

So you are already breaking the law! ANY sexual intimacy is probably illegal at her age.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calecrotty

I don't want her to have sex just cause I want to do it I don't wanna ruin anything I love her so much

Sexual intimacy changes the dynamic of a relationship. So yes it can ruin things.

Why think about sex right now? She's 14y.o if you had a daughter and she was 14 would you want herhaving sex? Look she's still young and she's a young teenager.. both of you are willing to do anything for some sort of love and affection. But wait awhoole until she a little bit older maybe 16 or 17 because you have a whole life ahead of u . Just wait

Know that sexual relationships don't just STOP and when you're 18 and she's 16 and her parents walk in on you two "doing it" they can have you thrown in prison and branded a predator the rest of your life. Is that a risk you are willing to take?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

We do not condone or allow illegal advice here. Advising a 16 yr old to have sex with a 14 yr old is illegal advice.

Never knew

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calecrotty

We're going to use a condom and I'm gonna make sure she's on the pill

My profession is a labor and delivery nurse. Let me tell you that there is no form of birth control that is 100% effective. I have delivered babies to women who have used two or three forms of birth control and they ALL failed.

I am also one of those women. I used the pill and the condom faithfully and EXACTLY as directed (I was married at the time). My son's are now 26 and 24 years old.

I also had to undergo some very serious chemotherapy due to cancer 14 years ago and was told that the chemo made me sterile. My youngest son is now 10 years old.

So, unless you are prepared to be a parent, refrain from sex.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calecrotty

both parents are completely ok with it

They may be okay with you two hanging out, but would they be okay with you having sex?

Why don't you ask her Dad if you can boink is daughter and see what his reaction is.

Sex can ruin a relationship. It ruined mine! You guys need to be together for at least 6+ months before you even talk about having sex. I love that you want her first time to be special, most guys aren't like that nowadays! I don't feel like you guys "love" each other, I think your more in the "I like having you around, I like being your boyfriend/girlfriend" phase. Explain to her how you really feel about it, she'll respect that, and if she can't, then it isn't meant to be!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScottGem

We do not condone or allow illegal advice here. Advising a 16 yr old to have sex with a 14 yr old is illegal advice.

Who's going to arrest him ahha!

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Originally Posted by louise1928

Who's going to arrest him ahha!

Ahha! Scott said we don't condone or allow illegal advice... he didn't say anyone was going to arrest the poster of that comment... what he was implying is that if it continues, the person could be removed.

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Originally Posted by louise1928

Who's going to arrest him ahha!

As noted I didn't threaten anyone with arrest. I stated the rules of this site and any violation of those rules will be dealt with by the site.

If you don't have anything constructive to add to a thread, then I suggest you not post.