Ask Me Help Desk - How can I get my mom to be nice to me?

I always thought I had the meanest mother in the whole world.
In my childhood I haven't experienced many things that my friends have. I'm just that little girl with no siblings to be there for her. When I tried to get help nobody believed me.
Now that I'm 15 I've still unbelievibly NEVER had a birthday party before. "So where's your birthday party gonna be?" my friend asked me. I was ashamed to admit my mom doesn't let me have one.
I never had or went to a sleepover. My mom also refused me from going or letting friends come over our house.
Unlike others I have never been to another country or flew on an airplane. I've never travelled before. When my friends were doing many things during the summer when school was done I would be staying home doing nothing. Some went to amusment parks or Disney World! Me? Stayin' home. My mom made me do math and school stuff when it's the summer!
As well as my mom keepin' me from having fun or spending time with friends she made me do work and chores. I had to vacuum, wash dishes, wash clothes, cook, mop, empty trash, clean the bathroom like the toilet and any chore you could think of.
My mother had the worst punishments ever. She would hit me with something. And even worse, leaving me outside for a long period.
My friends all had a closet FULL of clothes. I almost had nothing. Just 5 tops, 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pants and 4 sweaters. And what kind of jeans? Baggy jeans that made my legs look fat and out of style. Others (even boys) had fashionable skinny jeans. My mom won't spend lots of money on clothes so I wore my clothes for years as if I never grew. When I was 11 I was still wearing clothes that I wore when I was 5.
Because of my mom I've been getting insults and having people gossiping about me about me about how boring I am (all because of mom) and how I wear the same things (a friend told me they've been talking about me) I've feel like I truly had the meanest mom and I want her to be nicer to me.

You poor thing! You have to do chores? You don't have a room full of expensive clothes? You've never been on a plane? OMG! You have the worst mother in the world! Does she even feed you? Do you have a home to live in? Ya, I'm being sarcastic.

Want to go on a plane? Get a job and buy a ticket. Want new clothes? Get a job and buy them. Chores are part of life. Don't even get me started on that.

You sound like a spoiled brat that expects her mother to do and buy everything she wants. Welcome to the real world princess. Parents can't always give their children everything they want. Money doesn't grow on trees. We work very hard to give you the things you have. Show some respect, and learn that just because you want it, doesn't mean it's going to be handed to you on a silver platter.

Watch "Slumdog Millionaire" and try to absorb the life children live every day in other
Less fortunate countries. Be thankful that your Mother has provided you with a safe
Home, food, clothing, and is concerned enough about your education that she makes
You do school work in the summer! She loves you.
I am 27 and have never traveled, my Mother never took me to Disney world either,
But she did her best to make sure I grew up smart, kind, and independent.
Be thankful for your Mother, she will not be around forever.

My mother was abusive, in so many ways. I cannot tell you all the things she did to me. I cannot even explain exactly how those things have made me feel. And it still affects me, even now, when I am nearly 30 years old. I have a very tense relationship with her. Age has mellowed her, as well as anti depressants and therapy. I see her sometimes. We talk sometimes. She still to this day denies the harsh life she inflicted upon me.

Your story... has made me think all evening. I could not respond to you at first. Because I would have been very harsh in my wording.

You are young. I can understand, how you feel your mother is being mean. Most children, into young adulthood, accuse their parents of being unfair, and mean.

One day, you will reach a better understanding and maturity than you have now. And I am very sure you will have a different view of your mother.

For now... my only suggestion for you, is try to see it from your mothers point of view. You are 15. You know about money. Bills. Work. Taxes. Taking care of children...

As hard as it is for you to understand at this age, it is INCREDIBLY difficult, for a parent, to juggle work, bills, home, providing for their children...

So... please... quit with the pity party... quit with the 'poor me poor me'

The worst of part your story that makes me really sad is that your mother is hitting you with something?hitting the children is a kind of abusing them,does your mother has some kind of anxiety,is she depressed or has a kind of emotional disorders?

I do not get how hitting a child is abusing them?

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Originally Posted by YellowChick800

i do not get how hitting a child is abusing them??

So you think hitting is appropriate?

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

"So where's your birthday party gonna be?" my friend asked me. I was ashamed to admit my mom doesn't let me have one.

I don't give my kids traditional parties either. Instead we have family dinners. I find parties to be too pretentious. In this day and age few people can afford to have a party and then you are asking random people to give you gifts.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

Unlike others I have never been to another country

Interesting. I'm 48 and have never been to another country.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

or flew on an airplane.

I know people in their 60s who have never flown on an airplane.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

When my friends were doing many things during the summer when school was done I would be staying home doing nothing. Some went to amusment parks or Disney World! Me? Stayin' home.

Do you understand how EXPENSIVE Disney World is? I've raised 4 children and I'm married and have a professional job... I can't afford to take my family to Disney.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

My mom made me do math and school stuff when it's the summer!!

She's an awesome Mom! You know why? Because she cares about your future. She wants you to have a better life than what you have now and you can't do that if you don't get an excellent education.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

she made me do work and chores. I had to vaccum, wash dishes, wash clothes, cook, mop, empty trash, clean the bathroom like the toilet and any chore you could think of.

Seriously? As a part of the family you have a responsibility to do chores. You have a responsibility to help out with the household.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

She would hit me with something. And even worse, leaving me outside for a long period of time.

This is what worries me though. This is abuse and you should report it to a school counselor.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

My friends all had a closet FULL of clothes. I almost had nothing. Just 5 tops, 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pants and 4 sweaters. And what kind of jeans? Baggy jeans that made my legs look fat and out of style. Others (even boys) had fashionable skinny jeans. My mom won't spend lots of money on clothes

Money doesn't grow on trees honey. You get what your mother can afford and be happy that you aren't living in a cardboard box on the street. Guess what, there are children who do live that way.

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Originally Posted by Panteria11

When I was 11 I was still wearing clothes that I wore when I was 5.

I find that hard to believe. I've raised 4 children and I know that it is impossible for you to be the same size at 11 as you were at age 5. Heck, my 10 year old has gone through 3 sizes since Christmas.

I think you are giving your mother a very hard time. I'm sure she is doing the best she can since it appears your father is not in the picture.

Hey, my mom should be in jail right now. She beats me with a belt or anything she can find, calls me names, makes me cry, and is very protective. I don't get why parents are like that! If my mom is so protective, then why does she try so hard to hurt me? At least your mom doesn't do that. Also, my mom has made me SLEEP outside. And none of my clothes fit me. I buy my own. I got a job at 14. I buy my stuff. I buy tickets to Disney World and other stuff. And if you want your mom to be nice to you, tell her how you feel about how she's treating you.Tell her it's not nice and she shouldn't hurt you. You're a full teenager now and you don't need to be treated like that anymore. Maybe she'll listen to that and take it seriously, since you're her only child she should be very happy to have you.