I am married 9 years.I have 2 young kids I caught my wife having an affair in October.it is still going on but she still lives at home and spends 2 nights aweek with her lover.I have to get out of the situation but not sure what my legal rights are.if I move out am I going to lose my kids.I am the main income earner.please help.

File for temporary custody right away of children.. get proof even if you have to hire a private investgator you want pics the more evidence you can actually show a judge the better. Also print out any mails im's etc from them talking over PC if you can.
Contact your attorney TODAY not tomorrow or next week. Your lawyer will be able to tell you what exactly to do and yes you have a right to take your children with you.Just get that SOLE temporary child custody done RIGHT NOW

Do you have any friends who can advise you on a good divorce lawyer? Or a trusted co-worker who will honor your wishes to keep this to himself?

Don't move out of the house! If you want custody of the kids and you want to keep the house, stay put. You need to contact a divorce lawyer ASAP and find out what your rights are. If you stay put and can get custody of the kids, she will have to give you child support, not the other way around. If she is conducting an affair, and you can gather evidence, you can probably get out of paying her any alimony. Please find a lawyer immediately!

L----A----W----Y----E----R!

(And a therapist if have the $$.
Your wife has total control over you and she knows it.)