Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Confused. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=689551)

  • Aug 1, 2012, 07:50 PM
    girlygrrl
    Confused.
    There is this guy that I really like. However, we argue a lot but he's very nice only if he's talking about sex or initiating phone sex. I'm confused about if he even likes me. I get that sex is a huge deal for guys, but does he even like me?
  • Aug 1, 2012, 08:06 PM
    MissHated
    Don't be fooled by your feelings, the guy is only probably using you because he wants sex, nothing else. There's a lot of guys out there find one who will treat you right and make you happy. As a teenager, sex comes easy nowadays but do it when the feelings are strong and both mutual. You will find the right guy for you, keep your head up. Do not give in to sex if you are not ready. :)
  • Aug 1, 2012, 08:29 PM
    odinn7
    Sounds to me like he's using you. He's nice when it comes to sex and that's about it... what do you think? He only wants sex and doesn't care otherwise. Tell him to get lost and find someone else.
  • Aug 2, 2012, 05:27 AM
    girlygrrl
    Hey... Thanks... It's funny though... I'm not a teenager... I'm 25... I didn't have sex with him... But it's the only thing he'd talk about... I've been kind of silly because I kept thinking if I have sex with him he'll be nice... I answered my own question... I deserve better than that...
  • Aug 2, 2012, 03:12 PM
    odinn7
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by girlygrrl View Post
    I answered my own question... I deserve better than that...

    Yes you do.
  • Aug 2, 2012, 04:27 PM
    mmresd
    Is possible, only he knows, and although I (as a guy) can understand that sex is a very important aspect of a relationship, it shouldn't be the only one. If he is unwilling to do something else other than to have sex with you, I would definitely leave.
  • Aug 2, 2012, 07:18 PM
    girlygrrl
    Thank u for your input :) I duno... Sex seems like a very very important aspect for him.. I never had sex before & he know's this.. We "broke up" last year... I really love him though.. But I'm seeing everydayyy, it's not worth it... He isn't giving me anything that shows he's really interested in me... I only get to talk to him most likely when he's bored & he just want to know what I'm willing to do with him which pisses me off.. Because I actually love him.. A douche! I'll do anything.. But I have self respect & he's pushing this too far... He's not being fair..
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mmresd View Post
    Is possible, only he knows, and although I (as a guy) can understand that sex is a very important aspect of a relationship, it shouldn't be the only one. If he is unwilling to do something else other than to have sex with you, I would definitely leave.

  • Aug 3, 2012, 10:47 AM
    mmresd
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by girlygrrl View Post
    Thank u for your input :) I duno... Sex seems like a very very important aspect for him.. I never had sex before & he know's this.. We "broke up" last year... I really love him though.. But I'm seeing everydayyy, it's not worth it... He isn't giving me anything that shows he's really interested in me... I only get to talk to him most likely when he's bored & he just want to know what I'm willing to do with him which pisses me off.. Because I actually love him.. A douche! I'll do anything.. But I have self respect & he's pushing this too far... He's not being fair..

    Use that self respect, and just leave altogether. If you are not feeling the love, and he is obviously so focused on the sex, what is the point?
  • Aug 3, 2012, 06:37 PM
    girlygrrl
    Ikr.. *sigh* thank u :)
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mmresd View Post
    Use that self respect, and just leave altogether. If you are not feeling the love, and he is obviously so focused on the sex, what is the point?

  • Aug 3, 2012, 06:43 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    At 25, where did you meet this guy, about 1/2 of the online dating guys are just looking for sex and not a real relationship, or one that is not serious.

    But even real life, many are just thinking about this weekend and the bedroom, not long term.

    If you don't want to just have one night stands, cut off the sex talk, explain you will just hang up, that sex is a longer time off and a reltionship is what you are building, the ones you keep will be worth keeping
  • Aug 5, 2012, 06:52 AM
    girlygrrl
    It's kind of a long story... I guess I just keep holding on & its time I let go.. We went to elementary school together.. However, we went to different high schools.. We met up on Facebook some years after.. In 2010 we started talking a lot... Exchanged numbers... I waz not interested in a relationship... He waz very persistent.. We spoke all the time... Then he told me that he loved me... I started to have feelings for him... But I have a very soft heart, I got so attached to him... My feelings were genuine... In December of that year my family spent Christmas in FL.. We stayed @ a hotel & he called me every night.. The fact that he had to make long distance calls, I thought he was genuine... Then in August of 2011... He stopped talking to me because my last sister told his cousin that we were together.. Apparently, us being together was a secret... Sigh... Eventually, we started talking again.. & he'd always tell me he's coming to see me, but wouldn't show up. After that, in Novemeber I found out that he had 2 other girlfriends... When I asked him he denied it... We've always been in communication but he keeps lying.. & I think we are too mature for this kind of behaviour... I care about him but he's just leading me on... Just for the sex I guess... & then what... Sigh.. The hardest thing for me to do is the right thing, walk away...

    Quote:

    QUOTE by Fr_Chuck;
    At 25, where did you meet this guy, about 1/2 of the online dating guys are just looking for sex and not a real relationship, or one that is not serious.

    But even real life, many are just thinking about this weekend and the bedroom, not long term.

    If you don't want to just have one night stands, cut off the sex talk, explain you will just hang up, that sex is a longer time off and a reltionship is what you are building, the ones you keep will be worth keeping
  • Aug 5, 2012, 04:36 PM
    talaniman
    Yes its hard, but the longer you take to shut him down, and walk away, the more complicated things will become.

    Get rid of this cheap thrill.
  • Aug 5, 2012, 06:24 PM
    girlygrrl
    How could some people be so mean though... :/ intentionally lead people on & play with their feelings... That's not cool man :(
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Yes its hard, but the longer you take to shut him down, and walk away, the more complicated things will become.

    Get rid of this cheap thrill.

  • Aug 5, 2012, 06:39 PM
    monsieurjj
    That or be brave and ask him what he wants, and tell him you require respect
  • Aug 5, 2012, 07:07 PM
    girlygrrl
    I'm tired of asking him.. m he avoids all serious conversation... His response is always: "I don't know"... What upsets me most is that after all these months I actually still care about him.. I heard from a very good source that he does have a girl friend.. But he always says that there is no one in his life.. I just wish that for once he could be honest to me... Just once... :/
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by monsieurjj View Post
    that or be brave and ask him what he wants, and tell him you require respect

  • Aug 5, 2012, 07:27 PM
    monsieurjj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by girlygrrl View Post
    I'm tired of asking him..m he avoids all serious conversation... His response is always: "I don't know"... What upsets me most is that after all these months I actually still care about him.. I heard from a very good source that he does have a girl friend.. But he always says that there is no one in his life.. I just wish that for once he could be honest to me... Just once... :/

    Have some self-respect and walk away, let's see if he will chase you. Thing is if you have all these love to give somebody else who respects you deserves this and you deserve all the love that person can give.

    If you walk away see what happens just stay disciplined and be happy for yourself
  • Aug 5, 2012, 07:45 PM
    girlygrrl
    Hey, thank you... I've been a fool... Because I know if I walk away now I will not hear from him again... He wouldn't come after me & I know it...
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by monsieurjj View Post
    have some self-respect and walk away, let's see if he will chase you. Thing is if you have all these love to give somebody else who respects you deserves this and you deserve all the love that person can give.

    If you walk away see what happens just stay disciplined and be happy for yourself

  • Aug 5, 2012, 07:53 PM
    monsieurjj
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by girlygrrl View Post
    Hey, thank you... I've been a fool... Because I know if I walk away now I will not hear from him again... He wouldn't come after me & I know it...

    If he didn't come after you then you are lucky, to move on start by being grateful for what you have in this life and be happy for it. I guarantee you that this may hurt for now but in the end the relationship you have with this guy is not what you really want its just what you have for now :)
  • Aug 5, 2012, 08:00 PM
    girlygrrl
    I guess.. Thank you :)
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by monsieurjj View Post
    if he didnt come after you then you are lucky, to move on start by being grateful for what you have in this life and be happy for it. I guarantee you that this may hurt for now but in the end the relationship you have with this guy is not what you really want its just what you have for now :)


  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:51 PM.