Is it normal for a 13yr old boy to want to play with an 8yr old girl. There's this kid at the park who is always hanging around my granddaughter at the park, and I find it a little weird. Thanks
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Is it normal for a 13yr old boy to want to play with an 8yr old girl. There's this kid at the park who is always hanging around my granddaughter at the park, and I find it a little weird. Thanks
Well it depends on how they are playing, if the boy is acting very childish its wrong but if it's the other way about I would think its OK. Although me being 14 I would think the kid is queer and has no friends (the 14 year old)
Um... I would say no it isn't weird for 2 reasons. Reason 1 He is a family member. I have many older cousins that would play and hang out with me. But he doesn't sound related. Reason 2 He might be mentally disabled and your 8 year old grand daughter might be his age mentally. And if she is nice to him, he might be drawn to her because kids are cruel. Other than those reasons I would be wondering myself.
If it is an all the time thing and he hangs around her, I think it is strange. At 13 his interest should be playing with kids his age.
I would not even ask or wonder, I would tell him to go away from her without even thinking about it twice.
Where in her post does she say he's a family member? No place does she say that... in fact, the way I read it, it seems pretty clear there is no relation to this boy.Quote:
Originally Posted by makpaker23
To the OP... I think it is weird. He really should be off with other kids closer to his age.
I think it's a little strange as well. However, if this is a public park, there is a possibility this kid doesn't have any friends and is just trying to be nice.
As long as you are supervising, I'd keep a close eye.
My trouble is he gets to be friends, child see's it is OK and accepted by grandma to be with this boy, one day gramdma is not watching close, or child is in yard alone, I see a 100 ways this can go bad.
If it is a child I do not know, and there is a large age difference, they don't play together, call me protective,
Quote:
Originally Posted by aliiicowan737
Queer? Substitute any other racial, ethic, religious slur and you would be no less offensive.
I realize you have problems of your own (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mens-h...ml#post3242157) but you are offensive, even for a 14-year old.
Wonder what your friends think of you, what terms they use to describe you.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. I don't think this is something that can be answered without knowing the children involved. I would hate to label a child just because of his age, and the fact that he's made friends with someone far younger.
My son is almost 14. He's going to be babysitting this year, getting his babysitting license, and hitting the pavement. He has a great rapport with younger children. He doesn't seek them out, but if a younger child approaches him, there are many younger children in our neighborhood, he'll play with them if he feels like it. He's taught a few of the neighbor kids how to ride a skateboard, and a few times he spent the day with the younger kids catching bugs, and telling them all about bugs. He's great with the younger kids. He likes them, and they adore him. All the neighbors are extremely excited that he's going to be babysitting this year.
I hate that people automatically think that something sexual must be the motivation when an older child befriends a younger one. That's not the case.
I'm not saying you shouldn't keep an eye out. I think you should. But really, unless this teenager is doing something inappropriate with your grand daughter, why can't kids play together? Why can't an older child take a younger one under his/her wing? One of my greatest memories as a child was the teenage girl that lived down the street. I was 8, she was 16. She would come over to ask if we could go to the park by our house. She'd push me on the swing, build sand castles with me. When she moved away I was distraught. She sent me a beautiful silver necklace in the mail when she left, it has doves on it, something to remember her by. I still have that necklace, and for years after she left we would write to each other.
I was molested as a child by my older cousin. If anyone should have been fearful of older kids, it should have been me. Don't judge all teens as a group. The majority of teens aren't sex fiends looking to deflower anyone they can get their hands on. :(
If this were a girl, it would be a bit different, but a boy that age hanging around a young girl, I'd keep an eye out.
Homegirl, why would it be different if it were a girl? The person that molested me was a teenage girl. I was a 5 year old girl. Girls can molest too.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I understand what you are saying. I guess I should just say someone, boy or girl that old hanging around a child that young should be watched.
I do agree with that. But I also have to say that I really don't see this as a huge concern.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I find it odd that when a 13 year old plays with an 8 year old in a public park, in front of the 8 year olds grandma, people are so quick to assume something bad is going on.
But, if the parents of that child were looking for a babysitter, who would they choose? Likely a teenager. It could even be a teenage boy. The parents would expect that teenager to entertain the child while they're gone, and they'd see nothing wrong with the teenager playing with the child while they were away, not able to watch what's going on.
As far as we have been told, this young fellow is a stranger and was not asked to play with the younger child. I too would discourage it.
I don't think I've ever once asked a child to play with my children. We go to the park, and they find children to play with. I sit and watch, to make sure my kids are safe. If they play with an older child, I don't discourage it. But I do watch to make sure they're safe, that's my job as a mother.Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
All of the friends my kids have, or that I have for that matter, started as strangers.
I think the issue here is the boy's attention appears to be neither solicited or accepted. It is one thing for a teen that is known in the neighborhood to be nice to younger kids. It is another for an older child to pay attention that is neither solicited or wanted to a younger child.
True. But then I have to ask. If this kid is such a threat, and the OP is so fearful, why does she continue to go to that park , where she knows he is?Quote:
Originally Posted by ScottGem
If he's that much of a threat, I as a mother would not put my children at risk by continuing to go to the place I know the threat is at. There are other parks.
By continuing to go to that park, by continuing to let her granddaughter play with this child, she's is soliciting the attention the young teen is paying to her grandchild.
What raised suspicion is the op said he is always hanging around.
We had a neighbor who was 4 or 5 years older than my daughter and he would on occasion play with her but he never just hung around her. It was generally when he had nothing else to do.
The grandmother shouldn't have to change parks (there may be another older child doing the same thing at another park). She needs to solve the problem now at this time and at this place. And I didn't read that she has allowed the boy to play with her granddaughter. It sounds like he hangs around and is looking interested.
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