He always has excuses why we can't or don't have sex. But often masturbates. I cry and tell him I need him . He goes in the bedroom and masterbates then always denies it

Are you constantly after him to have sex? Stop asking and don't say a word about it for two weeks. And no scolding of or mention about him masturbating -- like, it isn't a factor in your life.

Meanwhile, be conversational about your job or your family or your various activities -- be interesting and fun! Start right now, and we will reassess this in two weeks. Remember, no mention of sex AT ALL.

That's actually a great idea Wondergirl!

A lot of people get bored of things quickly, even sex. After a while, it can feel like a chore or just another thing that needs to get done today. I think Wondergirls's tactic could work wonders! Seems to me like you need to find that fire again. Have you tried new things? Toys, outfits, new positions? Maybe he's simply bored.

And if all he hears from her is a constant whine of wanting sex, he turns her off and even becomes defiant about it, turning immediately to masturbation as a "So there! I don't need you."