So long story as short as possible, I had a child in a state that I was not from with a man who was from that state. We broke it off due to his unfaithfulness 1 year after my child was born, I and my child (1) moved out and he saw our child one day a week and every other weekend. I ended up moving back to my home state with our child now age 2. He filed at the courts for full custody before I could get around to doing so myself. He has a lawyer, I do not. We both just started new jobs and have a stable living arrangement for our child. I more so then him due to the fact he lives with relatives of his new girlfriend. Our schedule was set by the court for one week on one week off, visitation wise. Any mom would not agree to this, but unfortunately I had to. We both have our child in daycare/preschool when it is our time. I was for a very long time during this a stay at home mom, which the courts found " unfit" due to my not being able to "support" my child on what little income I was receiving ( not child support). Now we have a GAL Guardian ad litem fr the next 75 days. She will determine which parent is best suitable for the child's well being and development. I do not do drugs, associate with people who do, drink alcohol, party, or any of the sorts, neither does child's father. How can anyone make such a drastic decision like that with two good parents? My child is now age 3 and school is a huge deal and decision. I have no reason to "loose" my child but at the same time I do have every right to be worried. We're both god parents and I'm curious if anyone has gone through anything similar to this? What are the best options for me right now? How do I fight tooth and nail without a lawyer? I did seek legal advise, but they have told me to let the GAL do her job and make the recommendation to the court, and let them decide. Anyone with any advise at all will be so very much appreciated.

** good** parents, not god parents, my apologies.

How can you do alternate weeks in different states unless you are just across the border?

What the courts ruled seems typical. You took the child from an active father without court permission. But I don't understand the alternate weeks living in different states. (ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.)

Yes this is a difficult decision, but courts still tend to favor the mother. However, your taking the3 child away may work against you. And his having a lawyer will also work against you.

Thanks for your feedback Scott, and no I didn't just take him away. And yes, it is pretty much just across the boarder. 2 hour drive one way. When my child was 1 when we moved out of the fathers house. Still living in the same state and the father and he was not necessarily "active" if you will. He saw our child one day a week and every other weekend. I was declared by the state (for heath care and assistance) as the custodial parent and he the non custodial parent. My child was about 1 1/2 almost 2 years of age when we moved to my home state, and I did have the fathers consent. Written and signed by the both of us, notarized. Why is it that the lawyers fight "dirty" they do everything they can to "win" their case not even considering the party's circumstance as individuals not just a "docket number". Also when this week on week off arrangement took place in a mediation I was not present for the discussion. I was not there to sign any papers of even AGREE to it so how can they place that in order, by word of mouth through the father? He claimed we had that schedule all along when that was never ever the case. I am a hard working mom and I don't see this fair or fit at all.

Thanks for filling in the blanks. It does change things.

Seeing the child, even every other weekend does make him an active parent. However, 2 hours 1 way is not just across the border. And frankly I don't understand a mediator ratifying such an agreement without some proof, other than the father's word, that you agreed to it! Why weren't you at the hearing?

Are you sure this was"ordered" by the court? A mediator generally has no power to make decisions. Is job is to get the parties to agree and you can't agree if you aren't there. So I'm wondering if he is handing you a line about what was ordered.

In any event the GAL was probably ordered so you have to wait for their report.

Nothing has been finalized through a judge, per say. It was a mediator. I was traveling to the other state (fathers home state, where it was filed) this was in Feb. and we had a snowstorm, I called the court in the am (on my way) saying that I was going to be late due to weather. I was 15 minutes late and they went ahead without me. Same as when there is an absent party in any case they will proceed without the person. As far as the "proof" aspect of it I have no idea. Obviously they did it and I am at a loss for what to do. Also he is (by the mediator agreement) ordered to pay $250. A week in child support, He gave me a sob story saying he can not afford that and me being the "push over" that I am agreed for him to pay $100 a week in support until he can manage to pay the full amount, not specifying when. He just recently got a new job taking a $5 pay cut and I just started working full time, so I am also curious if we can retouch on the amount. I have just filed with Department of Revenue and have a case with them. All of this is so confusing to me, and I have so many questions. Haha I do appreciate ALL help