My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years and share an apartment. In the last 6 months, he has become markedly less interested in any intimacy with me. Which is annoying because I try to get things started and he avoids it. We usually are intimate like 1-2 times a week.

We share a computer and I noticed when I was looking for a site I had previously visited that he is looking at porn every time I am away (at work, at the gym, with friends). This is daily or multiple times a day.

Now this might be TMI but when we rarely DO have sex he seems very focused on himself finishing and not me. Literally, he will have sex with me and then go out and watch TV. I wouldn't mind if he was looking at porn if he was interested in our sex life a little more. It's annoying because I am trying to have sex and he won't respond. I have literally not had an orgasm with him since 2011.

I am not trying to be conceited but I am not an unattractive girl. I am in good shape. When I go out with my friends, guys will hit on me. So I don't understand if all these other people are interested why he isn't?

Any suggestions on how to get him more interested in real sex other than porn? AND is this weird that he watches it so often? I watched some of the videos and the girls look young. Not like kids but like older teens and the Internet is in my name which also concerns me.

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Originally Posted by bmoregirl

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years and share an apartment. In the last 6 months, he has become markedly less interested in any intimacy with me. Which is annoying because I try to get things started and he avoids it. We usually are intimate like 1-2 times a week.

We share a computer and I noticed when I was looking for a site I had previously visited that he is looking at porn every time I am away (at work, at the gym, with friends). This is daily or multiple times a day.
Now this might be TMI but when we rarely DO have sex he seems very focused on himself finishing and not me. Literally, he will have sex with me and then go out and watch TV. I wouldn't mind if he was looking at porn if he was interested in our sex life a little more. It's annoying because I am trying to have sex and he won't respond. I have literally not had an orgasm with him since 2011.

I am not trying to be conceited but I am not an unattractive girl. I am in good shape. When I go out with my friends, guys will hit on me. So I don't understand if all these other people are interested why he isn't?

Any suggestions on how to get him more interested in real sex other than porn? AND is this weird that he watches it so often? I watched some of the videos and the girls look young. Not like kids but like older teens and the Internet is in my name whcih also concerns me.

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I think you need to be looking at the relationship between the two of you. Like as in finding out what is wrong. It's clear he's unhappy with you about something.

He sounds like a closet pedophile, sweetie. You should leave him now
Before this goes on any longer. His disgusting behavior is HIS PROBLEM
And should not be affecting you and your self-esteem the way it is.
You don't deserve this. You are better than this.
Let me have you think for a moment, if you were older (in your 50s) and your
20 year old daughter asked the question you asked, what would you tell her?
Would you want your sweet baby girl to feel lonely, un-sexy, and un-wanted
By her boyfriend? I doubt it. Treat yourself with the respect you deserve and
Stop trying to fix him and move on to someone better, someone who will
Love you and want to MAKE LOVE to you.

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Originally Posted by BethVader

He sounds like a closet pedophile, sweetie. You should leave him now

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Really? You read her question and somehow determined that this guy is a "closet pedophile" simply because he looks at porn? How did you come to that? She said they look young but not like kids. She doesn't say how old he is either.

Personal experience. Dated a guy who had a lot of young girl porn type photos,
I felt like it wasn't right and broke it off. Last year I found out he was arrested
For sexually molesting the 6 year old daughter of his new girlfriend.
And I said "he sounds like" not he is definitely. Just an opinion,
Which is what this forum is for.

I will tell you one thing, I started watching it myself after I was not longer attracted and interested in (now) my ex husband.

I still had sex with him, but it my mind was somewhere else.

Get rid of him, and if you are good looking, you will have no problem finding another guy that will be interested in you and not porn.

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, you are worth a good guy.