I have been with my fiancé for 2 1/2 years and he just all of a sudden decided he wanted to break up... so I moved out like he wanted... a week later I was visiting my friend the one he is living with and my ex & I ended up doing it... well then a coupple of days ago he said to give up hope that he was never going to come back... I can't eat I can't sleep, and all I think about is him, I am soooo in love with him, and all I want forever is him... I don't know how to win him back... I need help... :( :(

SO SORRY!

The only thing to do is disappear right now.

In 4-6 months you will see all this more clearly. If there is a part 2, it will be then, not now.

If he is THE ONE, you will be in a better place then, but you may find he is not. In fact, he told you so. You must be a wreck. Please get a good therapists number from your general physician or a trusted peer. You will survive if you do these things. You may discover things about yourself and him in the process that will make this all make more sense. As for today and tomorrow, there is NOTHING you can say or do. So, rest your head. Words would only make it worse. Get your family (if around and helpful) and best friends around you and be glad you are not going through this AFTER you were married!

First of all you can not win anybody back. It is not a prize and if that is the way you think of it you need a lot more growing up to do.

Second it is over, face it. Deal with it. It is done and over with it. Now you need to learn from your mistakes in this mess and if you do. Any future relationships maybe will be better and more thought out and you will not end up making the same mistakes again.

Third IT IS OVER.

[QUOTE=Skell]Sorry for your hurt too however I find it hard to be too sympathetic.

The moment things got a little tough he wanted out and you went running back to your ex and slept with him.
Your actions by sleeping with the ex only confirmed his decision.

I agree, you gave him what he wanted sex without strings. It might hurt now, but if he had sex with you and then told you that its over, then he isn't worth your time... Move on sweetheart.. My dad always taught me a good saying that I live by "a man worth your tears, won't make you cry.

Find someone who deserves you!!

It is important for you to be able to forgive and forget. Mistakes are made and you must make admission of your lost love. It is natural to miss your partner, but there will be others.

1) Please abide by no contact
2) Get everything which reminds you of the man out of your life, box it up do whatever. Remember - "Out of sight, out of mind"
3) Time will help
4) Invest in yourself and your life, renew your old social ties, and start new hobbies

The only thing you can think about getting back now is yourself.. This means no cotnact from him, do not see him, do not talk to him, do not hang about in places where you think he will be.
Get yourself strong.. this will take time... alot of time..

He may come back but its not going to be any times soon so start working on yourself.

What age are both of you?

Accept that this chapter in your life is over and move on with a life you can enjoy without him. Leave him completely alone and let time and hard work heal you. Its up to you to make yourself happy.

Man you guys are harsh!

Well I think that if you love him you should try to get him back!
But if he don't love you,there's no point.

So give it one last shot! You can do it! Just one more try!
But just expect the unexpected, don't think for a second that if you try your hardest he's going to come back. Because he might not! If he loves you he will come back to you. Then you try your hardest to make it work again! But if he doesn't forget about it. Move on. Its going to hurt, I know, but you have to occupy your time. Do something positive to get rid of emotional stress!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by alizeblu

man you guys are harsh!

well i think that if you love him you should try to get him back!
but if he dont love you,theres no point.

so give it one last shot! you can do it! just one more try!
but just expect the unexpected, dont think for a second that if you try your hardest hes going to come back. because he might not! if he loves you he will come back to you. then you try your hardest to make it work again! but if he doesnt forget about it. move on. its going to hurt, i know, but you have to occupy your time. do someting positive to get rid of emotional stress!

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Not harsh at all. Reality!!

You can never win someone back. Trying as hard as you like won't bring someone back that isn't in love with you anymore. And if it does then unless something has changed or the people in the relationship have changed then it will only fail again.

One can try as hard as they like to make somehting work but if the other party doesn't want to then it is pointless. In this case he has made it clear he doesn't want to make the effort to make it work. In which case it would be best if this poster as hard as it is moved on and saved herself a lot more heartache through trying to make something work that is more than likely doomed!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tabitha1620

I have been with my fiance for 2 1/2 years and he just all of a sudden decided he wanted to break up.... so i moved out like he wanted.... a week later i was visiting my friend the one he is living with and my ex & i ended up doing it... well then a coupple of days ago he said to give up hope that he was never gonna come back.... i can't eat i can't sleep, and all i think about is him, i am soooo in love with him, and all i want forever is him... i dont know how to win him back... i need help....:( :(

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Just remember that guys that make you cry arnt worth crying ova. You deserve better.

As said above you cannot win back someone who doesn't love you anymore! In time maybe you will be friends one day, but until that day (maybe) you need to get yourself a new life and get used to that life.

Get some food in you, you will feel so much better! I know its hard but please eat, its so important or you will get ill.

Try a hot bath and relaxing music before bed. If you really need to get some 'natural' sleeping tablets to help for a few weeks.

In the mean time go out with your friends and renew all those old social ties you had and join the gym, get that stress out!

Wow... Yea Everyone Lets Just Give Up.

Geeze...

I Don't Understand Why People Can't Work Things Out. Back Then, Relationships Were So Much Better. Now Its Just Give Up, O Well Maybe You'll Find Someone Better In The Future. Well The Future Is Not Promised. And If You Love Someone Today, Why Not Try? That's Why Im Giving Her Advice To At Least Try. Can't You See The Girls In Love? Why Would You Just Give Up On That And Tell Her To Move On?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh a relationship needs 2 people who want to try!!

All right.

A Relationship Takes 2 Who Want To Try. I Understand This. The Reason I Said That Was Because I Don't Understand Why People Won't "try".

She's Willing To Try But Why Isint He? That's What Im Getting At. I Guess He Really Doesn't Love Her. Well In That Case I Guess Everyone Here Is Right And Im Wrong.

Why Would He Put Up With "2 Years" And Just Fall Out Of Love With Her. I Don't Get It. People Are So Stupid. Yes Lets Just Waste Our Time.

YOU KNOW WHAT? HES NOT FOR YOU. IF HE WANTS TO GIVE UP ON YOU AND NOT WANT YOU BACK FIND SOMEONE ELSE. NOTHINGS RIGHT ANYMORE.



IM AFRAID OF THE FUTURE.

alizeblu I think you need to work out your issues. That's life mate, people fall out of love, people change, change is the only constant in this world.

How did you waste your time in a relationship? If you had a great time at one point and perhaps even learnt something positive to take into your new life, I certainly did when my ex broke up with me.

Better to have loved and lost than never to loved at all - forgive me for the common quote

The last question i asked is below, some of you were very cruel and mean about it, and basically told me not to try and that i had no hope and it was over. Yet there was one person who encouraged me to keep trying to work it out... Well i just resumed my life and put a face on as if i were just fine and doing well.. but i wasnt... you guys told me to not see him at all, well i worked in a gas station at the time and he was constantly coming in.. so it was un-avoidable... Well as of april 1st 2007 he came to me and told me he was stupid and he had made the biggest mistake ever, and that he needed me and that he wanted to marry me.. As of april 26th 2007 we have been hapily married and we now have a beautiful little girl named Shiloh..
So just to reply to most of you, YOU WERE WRONG, AND THERE WAS HOPE, AND WE HAVE NEVER BEEN AS HAPPY! SO NO ITS NOT ALWAYS A LOSS AND ITS NOT ALWAYS A WASTE AND YOU SHOULDNT JUST GIVE UP. I didnt and i am married to the love of my life now. THANK YOU TO THE PERSON WHO ENCOURAGED ME TO FIGHT FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP, YOU ARE GREATLY THANKED!

Well just figured i would update the people who need to gain some faith and hope in thier lifes!:o

Tabitha

(((I have been with my fiance for 2 1/2 years and he just all of a sudden decided he wanted to break up.... so i moved out like he wanted.... a week later i was visiting my friend the one he is living with and my ex & i ended up doing it... well then a coupple of days ago he said to give up hope that he was never gonna come back.... i can't eat i can't sleep, and all i think about is him, i am soooo in love with him, and all i want forever is him... i dont know how to win him back... i need help.... )))

Well I congratulate you on your marriage and your baby. That's great! :) We don't ALWAYS tell people to give up. We are usually trying to save someone from any further hurt. I think in this case, it was when you wrote that he told you to give up hope and that he was never coming back.

Sometimes it's a little hard over the computer, without all of the info, not knowing the entire situation, and the in's and outs of it all, to be 100% on the mark every time. Yours had a happy ending, but for every 1 that does work after something like that, there are a hundred that don't.

We can't use one happy ending as our gauge for giving advice here. There have been more people that came back and thanked us for telling them the truth, and sorry they didn't listen, because they got hurt even more, than there are people with stories like yours.

So, although I'm very happy yours turned out the way it did, 9 times out of 10 it isn't the norm.

First, congratulations on getting married and having a baby so quickly. Must feel like a bit of a whirlwind, huh?

Secondly, please be careful. You're message is optimistic (which is GREAT) but I want to encourage you to keep your feet on the ground. Getting married is easy. Having babies even easier. STAYING married is holy-crap hard and requires a two-way selflessness to really work. As long as you keep your feet planted in your marriage this can be totally awesome. I celebrate my 24th anniversary this Spring, so I know it can happen.

Lastly, I went back and read those original posts and I think you're wrong about what happened. I believe everyone was encouraging you to leave him alone and work on yourself because it takes two dedicated people to make a relationship work. At the time you posted, you didn't have that, so the advice given was correct.

I think they were right. I think you did that and the reason you two got back together was because HE turned it around and came back to you, not because you chased after him.

So, rather than say you're right to chastise the people who were saying "let it go", I think it's fairest of all to admit what really happened... and in effect everyone was partially right. You needed to let him have his space to think and you're right that sometimes things DO get worked out.

You didn't win in spite of the advice, I believe you won because you let him get his mind corrected on his own.

Lastly, it's only been 18 months. It takes a lifetime of giving to become the love of someone's life, so make sure you don't get ahead of yourself. There's a lot of work to be done here. You can do it, we know that. But keep your eyes open and be that man's biggest fan.

Take care. Check in and let us know how things are going.

Nothing like having a baby and getting married to fix all your problems is there :)

Well I do wish the best for you

But yeah. Do not bash people trying to help you. You came here looking for help and we gave it, do you understand?

Im sorry we didn't all tell you what you wanted to hear. How rude of us, and there I was thinking telling people what they wanted to hear was the best thing ever!

And it is always down to you to make a choice.
But what a very classy way to come back and basically say

Screw you guys haha you was wrong.

Its not about right or wrong. Its about helping others and wel all do the best that we can.

Everyone on here has hope and faith.
Even the people with none.

So you madem, glad everything work out
I'm sure there will be no more use for this harsh board.

We were worried about you funny enough