My husband and I lost our jobs. We filled for BK that settled in 3/2012. We have missed 14 mortgage payments. We cash out our $40,000 IRA to survive, now we need the NOD from lender in order to avoid penalty on IRA, but the lender is not sending it... Mortgage loan amount is $175k -condo is worth about $75k plus I owe 4months of HOA. Im too stressed out to think straight please help?