Well as you can see by my topic, my seven year relationship with the man that I still love broke up with me. I'm very heart broken. He broke up with me on Oct 20, 2006. I confessed to him that I have cheated on him. Lately we have been seeing a lot of each other and spending a tremendous about of time with each other. I would ask him about getting back together. He replies by saying why would I want to get back with you if I can't trust you. But we do things as if we were a couple again. My question is, how do I get him to trust me again?

You cheated on him? He's lucky to be rid of you then. He made the right decision. And yes, I'm a guy. There's no reason you should ever cheat on someone. If you don't want to be with them, break up. Don't go around doing crap behind his back and being a loving girlfriend to his face. That's low. Hope you learned your lesson and if another guy gives you a chance to be his girlfriend you won't mess it up.

It is very hard to regain the trust that is lost when someone cheats on their significant other. There is nothing you can really do other than continue down the path you are. It will be a slow process and even then he may decide he can never trust you again.

If at present you are seeing quite a bit of each other then I suggest you just keep it as fun and light as possible and don't pressure him to give you more and don't discuss your cheating. I'm sure that has been thrashed out in the past.

Your only hope may be that in time he realise's that he enjoys being with you and he is not satisfied that your past indiscretion was a one off and he is willing to try again. Then again he may not. Is it worth waiting around for?? Perhaps you have to take your medicine and walk away knowing you stuffed up but more importantly knowing that you'll never do it again.

So the answer is there is nothing you can say or do to make him trust you again. That is entirely up to him, and if I were him id struggle to trust you again myself. So is this just a matter of you wanting what you can't have, or have you truly changed and learnt from your mistakes. I know what your answer will be but only time will tell I suppose!

Good luck!

I don't think you have truly changed and I believe you would do itagain its just you dontlike the thoughts of not having him. I hope he kicks you to the curb and finds himself a nice person who will not go behind hisback. Why were you in a relatinship with him and then you cheated I wouldn't mind finding the reason why and who you did it with and where is the other guy did he get rid of you. You deserve to be lonely after doing this to this guy. Im sure you will find someone else and maybe that is what you need if you really loved him you wouldn't have done that so maybe yopu should find someone you are in love with and let him be. I feel sorry for this guy my ex id the same and then she came back , then I thought about it and they arnt worth it better girls out there than cheaters... get some values was it really worth the root! You probably say no now you had auy who loved you and cared for you and you gave your arse up for some dude who probably just wated to tap it andmove on. Its not worth it and you probably regret it now but a lot of people have done it and then ou realise cheating onsomeone you supposed to love is not that great and in the long run only you will know hat. It normally comes down to insecurity. Good luck hope you learn from this cause I havedone it before when I was 21 don't feel great about it but we all learn from our mistakes and hopefully some people come out wiser for the experience, I regret it but will go on and so should you, All the best and maybe you two will work it out and be happy, if so understand he lovesyou and cares for you and just because someone loves you that means you should appreciate that not use it to your advantage wakeup...

I think every one has jumped the gun here a bit, yes she was wrong for cheating on him, she confessed maybe to relieve her own guilt, but people unfortunately do make mistakes, maybe she wasn't sure of what she wanted and the cheating woke her up? We haven't heard the full story to judge yet. I haven't ever cheated on anyone and hope that I wouldn't but never say never

Cheating is cheating and the consequences is no trust. You can't build a relationship on no trust. It may take years to get that trust back, so better to think of the consequences before you do the deed. Having said that, do you intend to jump through hoops for a while to prove yourself to someone you have hurt?

There is no quick solution. You will need to prove yourself deserving of your trust. Be a good friend, be 100% honest about everything, and keep working on the friendship.

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Originally Posted by mckenzie134

I dont think you have truly changed and i beleive you would do itagain its just you dontlike the thoughts of not having him. I hope he kicks you to the curb and finds himself a nice person who will not go behind hisback. Why were you in a relatinship with him and then you cheated i wouldnt mind finding the reason why and who you did it with and where is the other guy did he get rid of you. you deserve to be lonely after doing this to this guy. Im sure you will find someone else and maybe that is what you need if you realy loved him you wouldnt have done that so maybe yopu should find someone you are in love with and let him be. I feel sorry for this guy my ex id the same and then she came back , then i thought about it and they arnt worth it better girls out there than cheaters... get some values was it really worth the root! You probly say no now you had auy who loved you and cared for you and you gave your arse up for some dude who probly just wated to tap it andmove on. Its not worth it and you probly regret it now but alot of people have done it and then ou realise cheating onsomeone you supposed to love is not that great and in the long run only you will know hat. It normally comes down to insecurity. Good luck hope you learn from this cause i havedone it b4 when i was 21 dont feel great about it but we all learn from our mistakes and hopefully some people come out wiser for the experience, i regret it but will go on and so should you, All the best and maybe you two will work it out and be happy, if so understand he lovesyou and cares for you and just because someone loves you that means you should appreciate that not use it to your advantage wakeup...

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Wow that was pretty harsh. Especially when I didn't give the full story. Now tell me how I should feel if 2 weeks after I confessed to him he confessed that he has cheated on me with people that I knew. He has done this several times. So who derves better now? I really love this guy. It's been aboput 6 onths that we haven't been a couple but we continue to spend time together. Don't jump the gun until you find out the whole situation. I cheated on him because I wasn't feeling wanted. I confessed because I realized that I thought I had a good man at home. I regret cheating. This was the first time that I had ever cheated on someone. Even though I know that he has cheated I still take regret the things that I have done. And for the other guy, I stopped talking to him. I went cold turkey. Never gave him a reason why. To this day, he has no clue why I stopped speaking to him. I love the guy that I was with for 7 years. And I hope that one day we will get married.

I have to say that I am a firm believer in once a cheater always a cheater.


Furthermore, if you were both cheating, then the relationship obviously was not that great. I mean you had to look elsewhere to find happiness right? So, why go back? Move on. And please please please try and be faithful the next time around. The most quick way to end a relationship is the betray the trust of the one you love.

It is interesting that you think he is worthy of your trust. What makes you think he is? Why did you both cheat in the first place? My experience of such things is that it is because there are usually big problems in the relationship (with communication). Why would this not happen again? You can love someone, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with them. Perhaps you could be in each other's lives as just friends.

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Especially when I didn't give the full story. Now tell me how I should feel if 2 weeks after I confessed to him he confessed that he has cheated on me with people that I knew. He has done this several times. So who derves better now? I really love this guy.

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How do you expect an honest straight answer when you leave out important facts. You two cheaters deserve each other, and you may never trust one another again. This is not a good healthy relationship and neither is the love you profess. You both need to reexamine your lives and do better than lying and cheating.

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Originally Posted by lisalou

i think every one has jumped the gun here a bit, yes she was wrong for cheating on him, she confessed maybe to relieve her own guilt, but people unfortunately do make mistakes, maybe she wasnt sure of what she wanted and the cheating woke her up? we havent heard the full story to judge yet. I havent ever cheated on anyone and hope that i wouldnt but never say never

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No one has jumped the gun, cheating does not wake you up, that is just selfish, she wasn't feeling guilty when she did it!! Cheating is no mistake just she should have left the relationship not used it as a fall back exactly what she was doing and she new that. No mistake...

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Originally Posted by Princess80

Wow that was pretty harsh. Especially when I didn't give the full story. Now tell me how I should feel if 2 weeks after I confessed to him he confessed that he has cheated on me with people that I knew. He has done this several times. So who derves better now? I really love this guy. It's been aboput 6 onths that we haven't been a couple but we continue to spend time together. Don't jump the gun until you find out the whole situation. I cheated on him because I wasn't feeling wanted. I confessed becasue I realized that i thought I had a good man at home. I regret cheating. This was the first time that I had ever cheated on someone. Even though I know that he has cheated I still take regret the things that I have done. And for the other guy, I stopped talking to him. I went cold turkey. Never gave him a reason why. To this day, he has no clue why I stopped speaking to him. I love the guy that I was with for 7 years. And I hope that one day we will get married.

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Well I need to know the whole story in the beginning