Ask Me Help Desk - My boyfriend cant always get an erection

I'm 19, almost 20, and my boyfriend just turned 19. We have been dating since March of this year, 2012, we are both we are both very attractive people(not trying to be arrogant) we usually have sex about 3 times a day but everyonce in a while He won't be able to get an erection or He can't keep one while were having sex. He says he's never been more attracted to someone like He is with me(which I honestly believe cause I've ssen all the otver girls he's slept with and I am the best looking, again not tryong to sound arrogant) and he's always in the mood but sometimes just can't get an erection, he always says its never happened to him before. He has had sex with 5 people including me but just started having sex the summer after his senior year in high-school(summer 2011). He smokes pot but usually only on weekends so I don't know if that has something to do with it but I am so confused and I need help please!!

Have you ever noticed that when someone says, "I am not being arrogant," or "no offense but..." What follows next is always what they're saying they're not? Though the word you're looking for is vain. Yes you are. In the end beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, based on your description, I would not be attracted to you. That is neither here nor there to be honest.

Back to the question, sometimes it happens. He should probably stop the pot smoking, that might help. Has he had a complete physical and talked about this issue with his doctor?

I honestly don't think there is an issue. Sometimes it happens. It has happened to me, and I come back later as hard and able as I always am. The body works in mysterious ways. Truth be told three times a day is unusual, towards the end of the bell curve. The average is that number a week, if that.

So my advice is that you should talk to him about seeing a doctor about this issue. When it happens, don't draw attention to it, just snuggle and stay in the intimate place. The key is not to bring notice to this and not to make it a big deal. The male ego is a fragile thing and this could really hurt it.

What is his life like? Is he stressed/exhausted? There are other things that would affect his performance. Does he smoke? Drink? Usually the answer in nearby for erection issues.

Maybe he his concerned about 'under-performing', but that would depend on who initiates. Who is the more sexual, you or he?
I do agree with the reduced pot smoking. I believe if inhibits the sexual drive, rather then enhancing it. Is he a long time smoker?

Quote:

Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

Have you ever noticed that when someone says, "I am not being arrogant," or "no offense but..." What follows next is always what they're saying they're not? Though the word you're looking for is vain. Yes you are. In the end beauty is in the eye of the beholder and, based on your description, I would not be attracted to you. That is neither here nor there to be honest.

Back to the question, sometimes it happens. He should probably stop the pot smoking, that might help. Has he had a complete physical and talked about this issue with his doctor?

I honestly don't think there is an issue. Sometimes it happens. It has happened to me, and I come back later as hard and able as I always am. The body works in mysterious ways. Truth be told three times a day is unusual, towards the end of the bell curve. The average is that number a week, if that.

So my advice is that you should talk to him about seeing a doctor about this issue. When it happens, don't draw attention to it, just snuggle and stay in the intimate place. The key is not to bring notice to this and not to make it a big deal. The male ego is a fragile thing and this could really hurt it.

What is his life like? Is he stressed/exhausted? There are other things that would affect his performance. Does he smoke? Drink? Usually the answer in nearby for erection issues.

THe word I think you are looking for is confident. I know I'm not the most attractive person on this planet but I do have confidence in my appearance and personality. The question I asked had nothing to do with weather you would find me attractive or not, I was just simply trying to state every detail. Anyway, He has had a physical and everything was in check, He hasn't talked to his doctor about this because it hasn't happened to him before. But when we do have sex He usually tries to go again right after were done so that could be the problem? His home life is OK, He is in trouble a lot for things that arnt ever really his fault, him and his parenta argue a lot and He had to move home after his first year of college cause his real dad was not paying for school, He is stressed I can tell but I didn't know that could have anything to do with it. And I don't draw attention to it, I tell him how much He satisfies me and that it's not a problem to just cuddle after sex instead of starting up again. Thank you for your input and help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

Maybe he his concerned about 'under-performing', but that would depend on who initiates. Who is the more sexual, you or he?
I do agree with the reduced pot smoking. I believe if inhibits the sexual drive, rather then enhancing it. Is he a long time smoker?

He is usually the one who initiates it but we are both very sexual. He's been smoking for a about a year now and drinking for about 2 years.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mljr21

Anyways, He has had a physical and everything was in check, He hasn't talked to his doctor about this because it hasn't happened to him before. But when we do have sex He usually tries to go again right after were done so that could be the problem? His home life is OK, He is in trouble a lot for things that arnt ever really his fault, him and his parenta argue a lot and He had to move home after his first year of college cause his real dad was not paying for school, He is stressed I can tell but I didn't know that could have anything to do with it. And I don't draw attention to it, I tell him how much He satisfies me and that it's not a problem to just cuddle after sex instead of starting up again. Thank you for your input and help.

The refraction period ( believe that is the phrase) is usually between 15min to an hour. Sometimes if I try to stimulate myself to a erection it doesn't last as long as I want, or too completion, so yes that could be a factor. This is just personal experience.

Stress and home life can have a HUGE effect on a persons libido, especially when his life is having huge issuses like that that are not of his doing. I would say that what is happening is perfectly normal and expected. If it gets worse than he should see a doctor or a urologist about this.

The best thing you can do is support him and not be critical when that happens. His ego is going to be hurt and he's going to feel inadequate. Again the male ego is a fragile thing at times. Just don't be critical of him and you're be fine.

Once things even out and everything is on track than it will work itself out. Good Luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

The refraction period ( believe that is the phrase) is usually between 15min to an hour. Sometimes if I try to stimulate myself to a erection it doesn't last as long as I want, or too completion, so yes that could be a factor. This is just personal experience.

Stress and home life can have a HUGE effect on a persons libido, especially when his life is having huge issuses like that that are not of his doing. I would say that what is happening is perfectly normal and expected. If it gets worse than he should see a doctor or a urologist about this.

The best thing you can do is support him and not be critical when that happens. His ego is going to be hurt and he's going to feel inadequate. Again the male ego is a fragile thing at times. Just don't be critical of him and you're be fine.

Once things even out and everything is on track than it will work itself out. Good Luck.

Thank you a lot!