Hi my boyfriend and I have been having some bedroom issues, first off he won't do any foreplay and won't do oral on me. I will for him but he doesn't return the favour, I've talked to him about it and he said he has never done it before when I said I could help him guide him teach him he still refuses to do it. I'm not unclean and shower everyday I also shave that area and I'm what might say high maintenance hygienic. Also to not sound too arrogant I would say I'm attractive and do get a lot of attention. I just don't know why my boyfiend won't please me. He won't even use his hands and sex is very bing bang thank you mam. I also recently looked at his iPhone Internet history and found he had been looking at transgender porn, so that's added another worry to my mind that he might be gay.

I know this sounds silly but it's been a year now and I don't get any pleasure from sex unless I please myself while he's having sex with me. I'm starting to feel unwanted and unloved. Help!

Also I'm 24 years old and have had a good few previous boyfriends/lovers. Never have I come across a man who refuses! And I've never had complaints

Some men like going down on women and some men don't. I have met more women, to be honest, that refuse to blow me than take the pleasure of me in their mouth. It is honestly Personal Preference. So you could taste like tea and dumplings and he could still not want to go down on you.

How is your relationship otherwise? Other forms of intimacy? Are there other issues in the relationship?

The rest of our relationship is good. Apart from the things mentioned. I personally see it as him being selfish since he knows I can't orgasm without some kind of foreplay. Ok if he doesn't like oral at all, and I don't see how he couldn't (he's supposedly never tried) why will he not use his hands? Or even toys on me he refuses that also.

I'm also starting to fantasise myself about getting oral pleasure as it's been so long for me, looking at that in porn etc, and since my boyfriend what do it I'm starting to crave it and I'm scared in future I may be unfaithful

He might be a great guy otherwise but that's a deal killer in my mind. I don't think anyone should have to go without something so fundamental. I've dumped girls over that.

I agree. I think he's being selfish he's fine with me giving him oral so I feel he should at least try and return the favour. I do love him but I'm finding sex so boring and afterwards I always feel disappointed and empty. He knows I want it as I've sad it till I'm blue in the face. He also knows he's the only guy who plain blank just won't do it. I don't want to force him as as you know I es not wanin to do it or enjoyIng it it makes it very un enjoyable for the receiver.

Oral is a big thing for me... If I can't get that from my partner, then it's a deal breaker.

Harsh but true.