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-   -   SCARED 17 yr old n Active... (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=686084)

  • Jul 23, 2012, 09:21 AM
    sandy2245
    SCARED 17 yr old n Active...
    So I'm 17 n I became sexually active.. my mom made an appt. with her doctor to get me checked out... I live in the US virgin islands and I'm super scared because I don't want my mom in the room with me ,but at the same time I don't want her to suspect that I'm hiding something. I don't want to hurt my mom , but I do think that I am mature enough to do this without her being there. I twril baton, ride jet ski,and horse back ride... Also I finger myself a lot. My period sometimes come twice in a month , how can I ask for because pills to regulate this. Scared much no judging!! Thank yhu
  • Jul 23, 2012, 09:40 AM
    lula_fifi
    I'm sure your mum will understand your not wanting her to come in with you, surely at 17 she allows you to keep some personal secrets? Are you positive that she would not understand your just wanting to keep something personal?
  • Jul 23, 2012, 09:42 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    If you're so mature as you say you are, then be mature and tell her. Hiding it is childish and irresponsible. Almost as irresponsible as being sexually active at your age.
  • Jul 23, 2012, 09:47 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Twirling a baton and fingering yourself is not a sign of maturity. Telling your mom that you would like some privacy and would like to go in alone for the examine is.
    I have raised a daughter and I would not have gone in with her at that age for one. As a mom, you know when to back off.
    Talk to her.
  • Jul 23, 2012, 09:53 AM
    lula_fifi
    I agree with Homegirl; your mum should respect that you may want some privacy, at 16 I know my mother will. If you were younger it would be understandable, but at 17, you really do deserve your privacy.

    And C0bra_M3nace it is not uncommon for teenagers to be sexually active at 17, it doesn't count towards maturity, but in modern society it can't really be viewed as irresponsible at their age unless they do not use any form of protection.
  • Jul 23, 2012, 09:56 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lula_fifi View Post
    I agree with Homegirl; your mum should respect that you may want some privacy, at 16 I know my mother will. If you were younger it would be understandable, but at 17, you really do deserve your privacy.

    And C0bra_M3nace it is not uncommon for teenagers to be sexually active at 17, it doesn't count towards maturity, but in modern society it can't really be viewed as irresponsible at their age unless they do not use any form of protection.
    You seem to misunderstand that protection is not entirely protection. Sure it reduces the chances but it is not in any way shape or form 100%. Failing to see this is, in fact, very irresponsible.

    Modern society or not, it isn't mature nor responsible to have a child before you are completely ready. Having sex, risks having a child protection or not. I can assure you at 17, she is not ready to bear a child.
  • Jul 23, 2012, 10:20 AM
    lula_fifi
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    You seem to misunderstand that protection is not entirely protection. Sure it reduces the chances but it is not in any way shape or form 100%. Failing to see this is, in fact, very irresponsible.

    Modern society or not, it isn't mature nor responsible to have a child before you are completely ready. Having sex, risks having a child protection or not. I can assure you at 17, she is not ready to bear a child.
    I'm sorry I don't think I made very clear; I mean that it would be far more worrying and irresponsible if they were 17 years of age and having unprotected sex, at least having protected sex they show some responsibility.
  • Jul 23, 2012, 10:25 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by lula_fifi View Post
    I'm sorry I don't think I made very clear; I mean that it would be far more worrying and irresponsible if they were 17 years of age and having unprotected sex, at least having protected sex they show some responsibility.
    Valid point.

    I just wish that kid would realize that sex is not a game or an activity, protected or not. It's not something fun to learn the hard way.
  • Jul 23, 2012, 04:42 PM
    sandy2245
    Listen sum ov you are blowing it over the top. I asked HOW CAN I TELL HER I DNT WANT HER TO COME IN... HOW! I twirl baton it's a sport , n I know big women that does it as well.. you act like fingering yourself isn't normal.. IT IS.. You are right it doesn't mean that I am mature but its natural.. I do understand that sex isn't a game so don't act like am 3 or something... I wanted to know HOW to tell her , that is all...
  • Jul 23, 2012, 04:46 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sandy2245 View Post
    HOW CAN I TELL HER I DNT WANT HER TO COME IN .... HOW!!
    Tell her nicely and tell the medical staff.

    Please don't use chatspeak or your posts will be removed.
  • Jul 23, 2012, 04:48 PM
    sandy2245
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    If you're so mature as you say you are, then be mature and tell her. Hiding it is childish and irresponsible. Almost as irresponsible as being sexually active at your age.
    Cobra, >chatspeak removed< I know children younger than me that are sexually active. Scold them for that! Not me.. at age 12 having sex , even pregnant and you find that cute. Its not uncommon to start having sex at 17!! Happens , >chatspeak removed<
  • Jul 23, 2012, 04:59 PM
    J_9
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sandy2245 View Post
    asked HOW CAN I TELL HER I DNT WANT HER TO COME IN .... HOW!!
    You say... "Mom, this is going to be very embarrassing for me. Would you mind waiting out in the waiting room please?"

    How hard is that?
  • Jul 23, 2012, 05:16 PM
    sandy2245
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    You say..."Mom, this is going to be very embarrassing for me. Would you mind waiting out in the waiting room please?"

    How hard is that?
    Thanks
  • Jul 23, 2012, 05:39 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Yes, your mom does not go in while you are bathing ? She does not watch you change clothes, you ask for privacy
  • Jul 24, 2012, 03:46 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sandy2245 View Post
    Cobra, .>chatspeak removed< I know children younger than me that are sexually active. Scold them for that! Not me .. at age 12 having sex , even pregnant and yall find that cute. Its not uncommon to start having sex at 17!!!!! happens , >chatspeak removed<
    That's the level of immaturity I'm talking about. You speak as if it's normal for 17 year olds to go and have sex when it shouldn't be. Sure it might be what everyone's doing, but doesn't make it rational.

    This is why there are so many youth pregnancies now, because everyone thinks "Well everyone else does it, so it's gotta be okay"
  • Jul 24, 2012, 08:13 AM
    sandy2245
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    That's the level of immaturity I'm talking about. You speak as if it's normal for 17 year olds to go and have sex when it shouldn't be. Sure it might be what everyones doing, but doesn't make it rational.

    This is why there are so many youth pregnancies now, because everyone thinks "Well everyone else does it, so it's gotta be okay"
    Okay Cobra you are just making no sense... Thank you but no thank you.. you're blowing it out of porportion and then again I asked the simple question HOW DO I TELL HER I Don't WANT HER TO GO IN WITH ME?. n you are making it your business to beat around the bush and tlk about other things... Well thank you but no thank you...
  • Jul 24, 2012, 08:20 AM
    Wondergirl
    You opened the door, Sandy, by mentioning you are having sex at 17 and you don't want your mom to know. You could have just asked us how to nicely keep your mom from being in the exam room with you.
  • Jul 24, 2012, 09:26 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sandy2245 View Post
    Okay Cobra you are just making no sense .... Thank you but no thank you.. you're blowing it out of porportion n then again i asked the simple question HOW DO I TELL HER I DONT WANT HER TO GO IN WITH ME ?... n u r making it your business to beat around the bush n tlk bout other things ... Well thank you but no thank you ....
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Wondergirl
    You opened the door, Sandy, by mentioning you are having sex at 17 and you don't want your mom to know. You could have just asked us how to nicely keep your mom from being in the exam room with you.
    With that being said, I'll end my association with this thread.

    But if you can't even tell your mother you're sexually active, let alone tell her you don't want her in the doctors office with you, then you shouldn't be having sex. I'm sure your mother isn't stupid, she can put two and two together, and she probably will find you pills at some point if you go that route.

    Its better to be open and honest, than running around behind her back. Your parents respect you a lot more when you're open and honest with them.

    Just my two cents.
  • Jul 24, 2012, 09:43 AM
    MelanieRay
    Your not going to a pediatricians office. And you are 17. There is a good chance your mom will not even want join you in the room. I surely would not but, I think that if you want the because pills your going to have to tell your mother something. If its to regulate a period then she should understand. If its for real birth control, its best to stick with condoms. Pills don't always work, I learned the hard way.
  • Jul 24, 2012, 09:51 AM
    C0bra_M3nace
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by MelanieRay View Post
    Your not going to a pediatricians office. And you are 17. There is a good chance your mom will not even want join you in the room. I surely would not but, I think that if you want the b/c pills your going to have to tell your mother something. If its to regulate a period then she should understand. If its for real birth control, its best to stick with condoms. Pills dont always work, i learned the hard way.
    The best protection you can get is from both the pill and a condom and even that is not 100%. Condoms can break, and if you miss your pill or take it at irregular times it can also fail.

    There is no 100% birth control except not having sex at all.

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