I don't pay for drugs everyone says I'm beautiful but I hate myself and constantly put myself down. I have connects want me to come be their eye candy! I know I'm a addict I want help!! Everyone I know uses my little family I have left disowned me I do have my dads dad that will help pay for a rehab for me. But I have to get a week clean. I lost my job and house no ged no car no insurance no security in myself. Im deep in this I done meth every way I am 2 years clean from slamming it but I still smoke it. What I want to know is there any programs you don't have to be clean to start going? I am staying with friend and he uses. I went 2days without but I am feeling like I have to get him drugs to stay here. I have no where to go I don't want to loose hope BC this is all I have keeping it together

You are not ready for help first, since you don't want to get clean. You have not hit rock bottom being used and abused for others pleasure to get that one more hit.. You don't see any future in drugs yet, but want a path back that will allow some drugs.

It is not going to be easy, you have almost nothing at this point and being clean means giving up all of these "friends" and starting over again.

Get into a program when you are really ready to change, using meth, the looks go real fast, so you won't have that for long.

Contact your city's County Mental Health clinic, they can help you get into a local
(free) rehab and help you with out-patient counseling when you get out.
Recovery is a long road, but one with beautiful results.
You are more than likely using drugs to self-medicate either depression/anxiety
Or some covered up pain from losing your parents. County Mental Health can
Help you get on some anti-depressants or mood-stabilizers that will help balance
You out. Good luck to you.
Remember, recovery is not a destination, it is a long journey.