Why can't I find my faith in Jesus?
Back when I was younger I was a strong Christian. When I got into the 6th grade I started swearing and doing A LOT of bad things. I stopped reading my bible and me and my family stopped going to church but I never stopped praying. I realized that I lost my faith in both God and Jesus and it killed me. Every single night even today I cry out to the Lord without getting any answer. I don't feel him at all. I don't even think he's helping me. Me and my family started going back to church recently but I still can't believe Jesus died for my sin. Whenever I'm in church I feel so much faith but whenever I leave church the feelings of the Lord and my faith are COMPLETELY gone. It's like they were never there. I stopped swearing and I'm trying to stop sinning. It feels so useless. I can't even confess with my mouth God exist without hesitating. I don't want to die and go to Hell. I want to be ready for the rapture and I'm scared I won't be saved and have my faith in time...
Im reading my bible every night now but whenever I out the bible away all my faith is lost again and thoughts that go against God and what the bible says comes into my mind. Its like I need to have Christ on my mind 24/7