'confused' probably figures in my questions a lot.
I've made some very poor decisions in relationships, and a lot of them involved 'i love you.' I'm almost commitmentphobic (not insanely lovey-dovey, but then a guy comes along and stuff changes?)
So, I had been dating a guy a couple of months back, we broke up. Tha he was my best friend too didn't help, but I'm glad we're over it and moving ahead.
Meanwhile, I met a guy. We hit it off instantly, and as of now, we're dating ('no clauses'.)
Sometimes, I feel scared to let the hopeless romantic in me out.
He has had his share of mistakes in relationships. At some point, he was the kind of guy who'd stay up all night to talk to his girl and all? They broke up, things went on.
He realized he could've been wiser about things and have his priorities in place; screwing around with your career for a gf: not a good idea. (PS. I ended up screwing my high school exams that way once because of a guy, so I understand what he means when he talks about it)

The two of us, we talk at night, mostly. We're both college students leading packed, productive lives and hadn't dated in a while... till we'd met.

And then, I'm the happiest when I talk to him. We talk, yeah, meet sometimes (we live in two far-apart cities in the same state, and college-- not easy) and I miss him. I miss him bad as hell. And there are sometimes I wish I could hug him tight and lie down.
He is a beautiful man.
His experiences with spending time together with his girl (on the phone)... we don't talk as much.
Neither of us is clingy. I just wish I could hear is voice a little more often. He is a coconut.
'Dude, if the girl manages to stay around even till weekend, I'd be happy.'
It was a light comment, but point was, he has no expectations now, from relationships.
I want to be a hopeless romantic with the hopeless romantic who's still somewhere in there... I want to tell him I love him (yes, the three words), that I will be there for him, that simply being with him is a bigger gift than anything I can have. I want him to know there's no one I'd rather be with. I love him. I don't know how to put it across.

I'm scared because of my experiences and also because I'm scared I'll mess things up with him. That isn't even the last thing I want.

How long have you known this guy?
Goodness take it slow, he has already told you where he's coming from, what he wants.
You don't have to speak words of love and all of that just because you think that's what you feel.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

How long have you known this guy?
Goodness take it slow, he has already told you where he's coming from, what he wants.
You don't have to speak words of love and all of that just because you think that's what you feel.

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It's been a couple of months now. And we both never really talked about the clauses in 'no clauses'. I'm not sure what he expects of me. We just naturally end up avoiding it. :\

Telling him all that after only two months will surly scare him. Give this some time.
'Dude, if the girl manages to stay around even till weekend, i'd be happy.'
It was a light comment, but point was, he has no expectations now, from relationships.

Sounds like this is where he is.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Telling him all that after only two months will surly scare him. Give this some time.
'Dude, if the girl manages to stay around even till weekend, i'd be happy.'
It was a light comment, but point was, he has no expectations now, from relationships.

Sounds like this is where he is.

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Thank you.

You're welcome.
Guard your heart. The right person will come along, but don't waste your time and heart on someone that you know is not looking for what you are looking for.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

You're welcome.
Guard your heart. The right person will come along, but don't waste your time and heart on someone that you know is not looking for what you are looking for.

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It is better if I stayed out of this, I guess. For a good time.

Yep!
I wish you well.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Yep!
I wish you well.

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Couldn't thank you enough for helping me clear this up in my head. You know that phase when you have unpleasant things happening and you want to jump to a conclusion and you know you shouldn't?
That is where I stand, so far as this stuff goes. Funny thing, I cannot decide what I'm looking for. Not too serious, not too casual; something like when you're mixing hot and cold water, and nothing but the right combination will do?
Time to step up the introspection too.

Yes and just enjoy the dating process. Don't go into it looking for "the one" but having fun. Don't tie down to one person, when the right one comes along, you will know it.