I have 3 daughters 2000 miles away that really want me to get married in their home state so they can be present. This is important to me too. However, also VERY important to me is to be married on the beach, where I live, which is not possible in their state. It's going to be a small ceremony(s), as this is not a first marriage for either one of us. My fiancé said either way, or both. But if I do this, which one would be considered the "official" date. And is there any easy way of doing this? I would like to call the beach my official wedding, but my visit with my girls comes before the beach date could...

Your girls are being selfish. Have your small beach wedding. No, you can't have more than one. Keeping it small means far fewer hassles with who will be present, and you can just keep saying 'this is what we want and this is what we are going to do... ' while smiling in a dreamy distant way.

Maybe your girls can give you a special party/ shower so they can participate. If it is important to you, then do what you wish to do. If you had two ceremonies, the first one would be the official date. Enjoy your wedding, whatever you decide.

Maybe your daughters could come to the beach wedding that way they get to be present and you get to have the wedding you are dreaming of.

You can only do one official wedding, you can have another service, but there will be no 2nd marriage license, the minster may do a regular service, but many will just do a blessing of your current marriage.

Your official wedding is the one where you do it first and with a marriage license

If you are able to afford it, perhaps you could fly your daughters in for your small beach wedding and give them your home while you and your new spouse head off on a honeymoon.

I'm guessing they don't want to miss it and are concerned about the collective expense of coming in for it.

If they can afford to come in on their own, well - they're being silly and you need to teach them that the guests, even close family, do not determine the location!