Ask Me Help Desk - Reasons that a young girl is proven unfit parent

I am the mother of a 17 year old boy and his 15 year old girlfriend is pregnant. It has been established that she wanted to get pregnant so that she could get out of her home because she has a bad home life. Her mother is pregnant currently with her second child that does not belong to her father ( they are still married and have 3 other children). Her mothers babies daddy is a meth head and comes in and out of the house while the father is at work and even does drugs while at the house. The mother has had a problem herself with pills and father is a alcoholic with anger issues. They have a nice house however it is always filthy not just scattered or lived in I am speaking of pure filth, floors full of dirt, clothes trash and food. The kitchen with dirty dishes every where spoiled food all over the place and the fridge has pure black mold and rotten food in it. I, myself have went with my son and cleaned their house so he would be able to stay there for a few hours, and each time he is allowed over there he has to clean mostly because he is ocd. We are so afraid of the baby staying in the house and many people have came to us asking us to file for custody when the baby is born and my son will be 18 when the child is born. My question is how hard will that be. Oh and one more thing the mother has had several calls to child services and even went to jail for not sending her children to school.

Have in mind that Age of consent varies from 16 to 18 and she or her mother may file counterclaim for a misdemeanor such as corruption of a minor, to statutory rape.

Example:
Alabama Code 13A-6-62 (a) A person commits the crime of rape in the second degree if:...
(1) Being 16 years old or older, he or she engages in sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite sex less than 16 and more than 12 years old; provided, however, the actor is at least two years older than the member of the opposite sex.

Be careful especially if CPS is involved. Your son may be "awarded" with some jail time,his girlfriend to be "enrolled" in correctional center, and the baby to be placed for adoption.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kjax

It has been established that she wanted to get pregnant so that she could get out of her home

ops... established by whom? However it does not have legal value.She is under 16.

Proving the mother as unfit parent does not mean you will be the winner. And finally I do not believe in that a father may get primary physical custody of a breastfed baby.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kjax

I am the mother of a 17 year old boy and his 15 year old girlfriend is pregnant. It has been established that she wanted to get pregnant so that she could get out of her home .

So your son willingly had unprotected sex with her? And you don't think he shares some of the blame?

And who is urging you to seek custody?

ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kjax

I am the mother of a 17 year old boy and his 15 year old girlfriend is pregnant. It has been established that she wanted to get pregnant so that she could get out of her home because she has a bad home life. Her mother is pregnant currently with her second child that does not belong to her father ( they are still married and have 3 other children). Her mothers babies daddy is a meth head and comes in and out of the house while the father is at work and even does drugs while at the house. the mother has had a problem herself with pills and father is a alcoholic with anger issues. they have a nice house however it is always filthy not just scattered or lived in I am speaking of pure filth, floors full of dirt, clothes trash and food. The kitchen with dirty dishes every where spoiled food all over the place and the fridge has pure black mold and rotten food in it. I, myself have went with my son and cleaned their house so he would be able to stay there for a few hours, and each time he is allowed over there he has to clean mostly because he is ocd. We are so afraid of the baby staying in the house and many people have came to us asking us to file for custody when the baby is born and my son will be 18 when the child is born. my question is how hard will that be. Oh and one more thing the mother has had several calls to child services adn even went to jail for not sending her children to school.

Oh, where to begin? I see a lot of vague "facts."

First of all - "established that she wanted to get pregnant." Who and how "established" this fact?

"Many people have came to us asking us to file for custody ..." Who are these "many people" and where were they when your son was having sex with a girl who very possibly was underage? For that matter you weren't concerned that your son was having sex with a girl who is now 15, could have been younger when the sexual relationship began?

I see a lot about the girl and her family and not one negative word about your son. I think the Court is going to see the same thing. Your explanation appears slanted in favor of your son, very slanted, in fact.

In order for your son to spend time with this presumably underage girl YOU AND YOUR son went to her house and cleaned because of "pure filth, floors full of dirt, clothes trash and food. The kitchen with dirty dishes every where spoiled food all over the place and the fridge has pure black mold and rotten food in it" and despite the alcoholic and meth head? So you cleaned in order for him to spend time there as opposed to telling him to stay away?

Perhaps a better idea would have been less cleaning and more supervision.

Anyway, the only way to know how the Court will decide is for your son to file for custody (she'll file for support) and let a Judge hear this matter, decide who is best suited to raise a child (emotionally, physically, financially).

OK where to begin? My son was 16 at the time this occurred they are only about 18 months apart in age and she is the one who told me she talked him into having unprotected sex after he had a condom break and he was very foolish. I have made him give up all summer sports and camps that were paid for 2 years in advance just to get him in. Her own parents say he is a great kid and that wish their daughter hadn't got pregnant because he has such a bright future they were concerned he would not do all he wanted to in life. His life goals have changed he now works full time and takes her to every DR.s appointment and pays for each one out of his pocket. I have made him man up he screwed up and he has to pay the piper so to speak. He has several full ride scholarships for multiple sports but he gave all those up and has enlisted in the Air Force so that he can provide for this child. As far as who as asked us to seek custody many many members of her own family and close friends have asked us to do so as well as a local attorney that has dealt with several of her mothers cps cases. I do not up hold my son in his mess he will be the first one to tell anyone that I am very strict in the way I raise them ( I have 3 sons) I stay on top of their every move and wish the other family had did the same because leaving them in her bedroom with the door locked and not checking on them or making them keep the door open got us where we are today. It is sad and I am unsure of what needs to be done. Everyone thinks once the baby gets here I will get over my disappointment but I will not because it was a thoughtless, ignorant mistake that could have been avoided. Confusion is where it has left me .