I've been with her for approx 3 1/2 months. She got out of a relationship of 1 1/2 years and then we got together about a month after. Everything has been going great with me and her son we get along great. One day a couple of weeks ago I told her I loved her and she didn't say it back. Its OK some people takes them longer to feel that strong feeling.

Then two weeks ago she wanted to go out with her friends and last week the same. Now out of no where she tells me she needs time and space to figure stuff out that she just wants to go out with her friends. Her friends told her she making a mistake letting me go. What do I do, and how do I deal with this?

Well you really just have to give her time and space. If you try to talk it out or try to convince her, all you're really doing is making the situation harder for yourself. She may think you're too clingy. As far as what she might be going through, maybe she started hanging out with her friends and realized how much fun it was being single. Perhaps it was too soon for her to start dating. There may be another guy. You never really know why someone acts totally different without any cause for concern. You just have to let it go and be prepared for the worst. Seriously don't beat yourself up for this or try to find a solution. If she really wants you, she will come back to you. If she doesn't, the find someone who does.

She has concerns that it's to soon to be back in a relationship but then she tells me that she sees a future together moving in and even marriage. She already has a son and I would like to have one of my own one day but she is scared of having another one due to the experience she is having with her sons piece of shir father. Me and my family accepted them both without hesitation I do really love them both and was not expecting this. She tells me that I have treated her and her son better than her ex or even the father, but yet she needs time and space to think. I just don't understand. And for sure there is no other guy. We were always together maybe too much together.

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Originally Posted by Fire1027

Ive been with her for approx 3 1/2 months. She got out of a relationship of 1 1/2 years and then we got together about a month after. Everything has been going great with me and her son we get along great. One day a couple of weeks ago I told her I loved her and she didn't say it back its ok some people takes them longer to feel that strong feeling. Then two weeks ago she wanted to go out with her friends and last week the same. Now out of no where she tells me she needs time and space to figure stuff out that she just wants to go out with her friends. Her friends told her she making a mistake letting me go. What do I do and how do
I deal with this?

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She's not ready to be in a relationship,It's very obvious! Don't wrap you're self up in that... She has NOT had time to heal from her last she is on the rebound due to her having one last so long.. Us wemon tend to get real confused and think we need someone all the time, but all it does is hurt us more and hurt the rebond worse! Good Luck!

Play with your son and leave her alone for a day and or clean up the house or get out of the house for a day

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Originally Posted by banolli

play with your son and leave her alone for a day and or clean up the house or get out of the house 4 a day

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She has the son not me. This happened Sunday spoke briefly on Monday and haven't spoken yesterday or today. I don't t think or want to think I was the rebound guy that would really make me feel worse

Being the rebound guy after developing strong feelings would really be a downer. Still, you shouldn't assume you aren't. You also shouldn't assume that you are. You shouldn't assume period actually. Just let her cool off and give it a few more days. If she still hasn't talked to you, you request to have a talk with her about all of this. And if she refuses, then break it to her dude. Don't wait for someone who keeps you on your toes like this.

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Originally Posted by ali18ninja

Being the rebound guy after developing strong feelings would really be a downer. Still, you shouldn't assume you aren't. You also shouldn't assume that you are. You shouldn't assume period actually. Just let her cool off and give it a few more days. If she still hasn't talked to you, you request to have a talk with her about all of this. And if she refuses, then break it to her dude. Don't wait for someone who keeps you on your toes like this.

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Im trying not to think that way but its hard not to. I really don't want to contact her at all. She wanted time and space that's exactly what I will give her. Spaceeeeee so far I'm doing good I've wanted to contact her but haven't. I think I'm doing the right thing.

Everyone tells me to give her time to miss me and notice what she's giving up on and losing. When that hits her she will come around or just won't come back at all. She shouldn't be treating this way after how I have treat her and her son but she does have to figure stuff out on her own and not to
Pressure her.

It's strange but when you really want someone, they don't want you back. Later on when they want you, you don't want them anymore. In either case, time heals everything, even if it doesn't seem like it now. But yes, you are definitely doing the right thing by giving her space. Time just passes by.

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Originally Posted by ali18ninja

It's strange but when you really want someone, they don't want you back. Later on when they want you, you don't want them anymore. In either case, time heals everything, even if it doesn't seem like it now. But yes, you are definitely doing the right thing by giving her space. Time just passes by.

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Should I wait for her to initiate contact or should I initiate it after a week or so

You're going to get hurt if you keep pushing this relationship. Time in space is french for... I want out of this relationship.

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Originally Posted by Jrod7571

you're going to get hurt if you keep pushing this relationship. time in space is french for.....I want out of this relationship.

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Dam not what I wanted to hear but I guess the truth hurts

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Originally Posted by Fire1027

Should I wait for her to initiate contact or should I initiate it after a week or so

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Well that all depends on you. I personally would wait until she initiates contact. She is the one who wanted the space. But after a few weeks then I would ask if she's doing OK and stuff. If she's willing to talk that's great. If not, then there's probably no hope. Maybe she's just not ready.

Geez guy, what did you expect hooking up with a female that just broke up with a baby daddy(?) a month before? Hey you helped her get through it, and now she is ready to explore and experiment and have fun.

If she wants fun with you, that's cool,but other wise leave her alone to let her enjoy herself. Break that attachment you have formed, by getting back to the happy life you had without her. And don't trip to hard over the fact she wasn't ready to give you what you wanted.

You have done a good deed, now go back to reality. Who knows what the future holds?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Geez guy, what did you expect hooking up with a female that just broke up with a baby daddy(?) a month before? Hey you helped her get thru it, and now she is ready to explore and experiment and have fun.

If she wants fun with you, thats cool,but other wise leave her alone to let her enjoy herself. Break that attachment you have formed, by getting back to the happy life you had without her. And don't trip to hard over the fact she wasn't ready to give you what you wanted.

You have done a good deed, now go back to reality. Who knows what the future holds?

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she's been separated from baby daddy for 4 years now. This was a guy she was dating

Thanks for the info, it helps. It seems that she is still getting over her own long term attachment that didn't work out like she wanted. More than likely she wasn't ready for the risk of another failure, or committing too fast, or missing a chance to explore, and experiment on her own.

I mean in four years, two guys, and a baby, she wants to be single. Can you blame her?