Ask Me Help Desk - I Hate Boys

Don`t u just hate it when guys are so confused? Well I just recently broke up with my boyfriend. We`ve been going out since July so that`s about 6 months really. In the beginning it is always fine, everything is great and you think he`s "the one". But then all we did was fight and fight because school got too hectic for me and he had his stuff to do. Then it got so bad that we decided to take a break on my mom`s birthday, a week before xmas. Then on xmas day, we decided to totally break it off. I cried and cried and cried but yea. Then we were supposed to hang out on new years this coming weekend but he cancelled those plans we made almost a month before. I caught him doing stuff behind my back during our break, about hooking up with other girls, but the night before he told me he still loved me. Now I think of our relationship as a joke, but his dad and his cousin cried to me about him, how he`s just such a big up and how I was able to change some of his habits. They thanked me for everything and it hurt a lot because *he* doesn`t even care. He pushed me away to the point where I don't know what to do anymore. I know I won't be able to get over him for a long time because he's been my friend for years and we`ve been through a lot. I confided in him and I have had my share of bad friendships, so I have trust problems. So since I trusted him with my life, I think that`s why I can`t get over him quickly. What should I do? I`m lost. Should I let him go? But then I`m afraid he`s going to go back to his old habits, and I would feel responsible. Am I responsible for nethin? HELP!

Ughhhh! He`s always saying things that make me so angry. . His profile on AIM has a quote and it says dedicated to nobody. He says he's going to go see other girls when he still has my ring that I gave him. He always says he doesn't care doesn't care. . But I know he does. . Grrr why does he say such things! :mad:

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

don`t u jes hate it wen guys are confused?

Eye them a guy. Eye am confused bye your pore spoalling end gramur, :)

:) just a simple suggestion.. it's up to you if you'll follow..
I suggest that you weigh your feelings..
If you want to hold on to your relationship with him, is it because you love him? Or just because you don't want him to be where he once belong?
If you love him, then why not give him a chance? No once perfect in this world right? You just have to talk it over..
But if your just afraid that he might be back being a bad boy or whatsoever, then drop it! You don't have any responsibilities with him.. he's the one controlling his life anyway! And so, are we..
I also have a trust vs mistrusting problem, and I don't really trust that much, unlike before.. for me, I accept it as a complement... it just proves me that I'm not a kid anymore! I'm a grown up lady who can decide what I want and where I want to belong..
Hope this helps you in a way..
Be looking forward of your post! Take care!
And think a thousand times before doing a mistake / a good life!

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

how he`s just such a big up and how i was able to change some of his habits.

You did not change any of his habits. Any person changes themselves. You can’t change anybody and if someone did change it was because they wanted to.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

they thanked me for everything and it hurt alot because *he* doesn`t even care.

It sounds like he doesn’t care about himself. But that is not your fault. He was like that before you met.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

he pushed me away to the point where i dunno what to do anymore. i know i wont be able to get over him for a long time because hes been my friend for years and we`ve been through a lot. i confided in him and i have had my share of bad friendships, so i have trust problems. so since i trusted him with my life, i think that`s why i can`t get over him quickly. what should i do? i`m lost. should i let him go?

You have to let him go for your own self. Your emotionally hurt and confused and you will continue to stay this way until you let him go and let the emotional wounds heal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

but then i`m afraid he`s gonna go back to his old habits, and i would feel responsible. am i responsible for nethin? HELP!

His habits are his problems. If he chooses to do something that’s his fault. You are not responsible for him at all. Even in the relationship you are responsible for one person, and that is you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

ughhhh!! he`s always saying things that make me so angry . . his profile on AIM has a quote and it says dedicated to nobody.

Ok? Why would that make you angry?

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

he says hes gonna go see other gurls when he still has my ring dat i gave him.

But you broke up. So he can see other girls. The ring was a gift that you gave him when you were going out. It’s not a wedding ring so you can’t expect a lifetime commitment.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

he always says he doesnt care doesnt care . . but i kno he does

You only know what your know. You never know what the other person says. He says he doesn’t care so take his word on it. Even if he does care but is afraid telling someone you don’t care when you know they do care is hurtful and rude. So ask yourself, why do you want to be with someone who is hurtful and rude.

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmarji

. . grrr why does he say such things!? :mad:

He says these things because he wants to be left alone. This is another reason you need to start letting go. It’s not healthy for you to move forward like this. Your holding on to hope but it’s at the expense of yourself.

Don't hate all boys for the action of one. Be glad all the fighting and bickering and bad feelings are over and trust me, there are better guys out there. Leave the bitterness behind and be happy and thats what you'll get.

You really need to know MY story. I dated the same guy (the only guy) for 10 years from age 16 to twenty-freakin'-six! He, too, was never any good for me. Why did I stay so long? He was all I had.

I identify with you saying you've had bad friendships. I look back now and see how my 'ex' drove my friends away either by monopolizing my time or by being jealous of my male friends or rude to my female friends. He isolated me and he 'needed' me, too. I tried 3 times to break up with him and he always acted so devastated that the break up never TOOK.

I finally got the strength at 26 to dump him and keep him dumped.

THEN I worked on ME. I focused on trying new things (not new guys!) I went skydiving. I worked hard at my job and excelled to promotions. I took up running and ran 5 miles at 30 when I hadn't even run a mile in high school at 18.

You might look at them as some old gal who doesn't know you. But I've BEEN you. Really. TRUST me. NOW is the time to find out what YOU really want in life and not have it be changed by the opinions of your boyfriend or even your parents. Make YOUR life just as filled with good friends and wonderful things YOU enjoy. Only then will you be able to ADD a GUY to it. You'll then as if by MAGIC find the RIGHT GUY. Because you WILL ATTRACT better guys when YOU are a fuller, more interesting, more grounded person.

Listen I know how you feel. It happened to me. I loved him with all my heart! But he started 2 act really stupid. I had 2 break up wit him or he would have hurt me worse wit my bffl. You need 2 try 2 ocupiy your mind so that you don't think about it over and over again. I got a part time job at starbucks. It worked during the day but he still called me every night. He still does till this day. But the only thing I think made my situation worse was that he was my 1st kiss. That's y I'd cry after every time he calls. We were together 4 about 2 yrs then I don't know what happened to him. Anyway... I still love him but he has been going out with my bffl for 1yr and they are still togrther. And it still hurts.:( :( :( :( :( :(