Hello... My Mother passed away three years ago. My Father is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. My younger brother, by two years, was chosen as executor. Another brother and I have grave concerns about how my brother is handling things. A vehicle was disposed of and we have no knowledge of where the funds went. The executor's adopted stepson is living in my parent's home rent free, and many things have 'disappeared' since my Mother's passing and my Father's being placed in a long term nursing facility. The executor resides in Indiana, while the other two brothers reside in Pennsylvania. The executor has enjoyed a better than average lifestyle and we are concerned that some things may not be as they should; certainly my parents would not approve of this situation. The family dynamics are such that there is little communication between parties, and the executor does not respond in a timely manner, if at all. How should a situation like this be handled?

So have you asked them to provide you with a detail accounting ?
You may get together and hire an attorney to require this.

Has the estate been submitted for probate? There is nothing wrong with the executor's son living in the property as a caretaker. Maybe the executor is waiting on the market to get better to sell.

Or could it be that your father inherited from your mother and he can't do anything while your father is alive.

Another question: the younger brother is executor of the mother's estate? Since the father is still alive, he wouldn't be executor of the father's estate, although he may be guardian or conservator of the father. Did the father inherit the property from the mother?

And, to repeat ScottGem's question, has a probate application been filed? Often people erroneously assume that since someone is named as exector in a will, he or she is the executor. This is not correct. The "executor" doesn't have any powers of executor until a court has issued letters testamentary.

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Originally Posted by jrmcarthur

Hello......My Mother passed away three years ago. My Father is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. My younger brother, by two years, was chosen as executor. Another brother and I have grave concerns about how my brother is handling things. A vehicle was disposed of and we have no knowledge of where the funds went. The executor's adopted stepson is living in my parent's home rent free, and many things have 'disappeared' since my Mother's passing and my Father's being placed in a long term nursing facility. The executor resides in Indiana, while the other two brothers reside in Pennsylvania. The executor has enjoyed a better than average lifestyle and we are concerned that some things may not be as they should; certainly my parents would not approve of this situation. The family dynamics are such that there is little communication between parties, and the executor does not respond in a timely manner, if at all. How should a situation like this be handled?

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I had the same issues - "chosen as Executor?" Not appointed?

If the father inherited from the mother I see no issues unless/until someone attempts to declare him incompetent. It is also possible that the "executor" has Power of Attorney from the father.

A "better than average" lifestyle? I don't know what that means nor do I see any indication that he doesn't have "better than average" employment.

An adopted stepson is a stepson - "adoption" doesn't enter into the picture when it comes to inheriting. And, again, if the brother has a P/A then who lives where is his choice.

What situation would your parents not approve of? Arguing over the Estate or the current family dynamics?