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-   -   Wanting to marry (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=68224)

  • Mar 3, 2007, 07:11 AM
    dreamingangei38
    Wanting to marry
    I am a new born Christian as of last year and been divorced since 1998, But My ex-husband were not Christians and did not even go to church, I go to The Church Of God. My question is: I mat a really nice guy and we have been friends for a long while, I had stated having feeling for him but the Bible said I can't marry him until my ex- husband dies, I truly want to live the Christian life and ob ay god. My sister and her husband have search the Bible back and front to find a way out. (God does hate divorce) I'm very confused, If I have to stay single by god then I will, please help, I have pulled up theses (
    Matthew 19:3-8; 5:32
    Mark 10:1-12
    Luke 16:18
    1 Corinthians 7; 10:31
    Genesis 2:24
    Malachi 2:14-16
    Ephesians 5:22-32
  • Mar 3, 2007, 07:53 AM
    shygrneyzs
    I know exactly what you are saying. The church I went to also taught that - that once married, always married in the eyes of the Lord. Even if legally divorced. Church Of God is a tough church to get past that standard.

    I am not telling you to disbelieve what you are being taught. But I would ask for you to question. In the divorce - who iniated it? Did your husband want the divorce, was the divorce a result of his actions? As in, did he commit adultery? I ask this because if he was the one who prompted the divorce, then he was the one who left the marriage - in spirit and in intent. He was legally married to you, there in the flesh but not emotionally vested in the marriage. A speaker came to my church and talked about ministering to divorced men and woman and he brought all this out. I certainly could not have thought that way - so this is not my original thinking.

    Can you talk to your pastor and ask him these things? Tell him you want to honor the Lord and the teachings of the Lord and you also want clear direction. You have a heartfelt petition to do what is right and holy. Yet who can expect you to remain single for the next 40 or so years until your ex husband dies? What happens if your ex husband remarries?

    Best of luck to you. May your pastor listen with an open mind and heart.
  • Mar 3, 2007, 07:53 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    No the bible does not say that specificly. If your husband is sleeping with someone else, that also frees you to marry, the issue of allowing divorce.

    Also we live in a time of grace, not under the law. Those denominations that wish to keep us under the law are not truly following the complete teachings of the new testment but are living under the same concept as the religious teachers of Christ time, that he taught against.
    Sorry I know I will offend a lot here but think about it, Christ and his followers broke a lot of the "laws" of their time to the church.

    Next you have the forgiveness, so even if it was wrong, Christ can and does forgive all sins.

    And esp when the one party tried to stay married, you can't force the other one to stay married.

    If you find a good , God fearing Christian to marry, anyone, any church that tells you it is wrong to marry them and be happy in life, is just plain wrong.

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