Ask Me Help Desk - I'm confused?

I've been on and off with my boyfriend for about 4 and a half years. He’s been unfaithful since the beginning and then I started being the same way to be spiteful. I know 2 wrongs don’t make a right and I very much wished I didn’t go as far as getting him back for it but it hurt me so much. I left him back in Dec and found out he slept with my best friend during last summer and they continued even after we broke up for 4 months. Even though I went on and did my own thing my heart didn’t let go of him even after so long. So we both gave it another chance. He said he would change he cried for me to his kids and to his ex wife and friends and told them he loved me but after another four months of trying he goes back to the guy I left back in Dec.

Now he walks out the house doesn’t say a word, doesn’t tell me he loves me, doesn’t kiss, or hug me anymore. Nor makes love to me the way he used to. Mind you we were doing great until these past two weeks. What should I do? I’m so confused. I’m trying so hard to deal with all this pressure again but it’s coming to that point I want to leave but I know I’ll regret it.

It’s like this he said he don’t care if I leave because I have left in the past but at the same time I feel he doesn’t want me to leave... I’M SO CONFUSED. HELP ME FIGURE THIS OUT! PLEASE!

I've only been in one serious relationship, but it has taught me this: no one can decide and make up your mind for you. But relationships are supposed to be something special, and 50/50 no one person should put forth more effort. And relationships also require communication, mine failed because of a lack of it. So my best advice would be to talk to him see how he feels about the relationship. I have always admired couples that stick it out when times get tough it shows how willing they are to keep things together.

He doesn't mind if you leave because he presumes, like before, you will be back.
An on and off relationship will likely always be that, on and off.
Unless someone calls it off permanently.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Green

I've only been in one serious relationship, but it has taught me this: no one can decide and make up your mind for you. But relationships are supposed to be something special, and 50/50 no one person should put forth more effort. And relationships also require communication, mine failed because of a lack of it. So my best advice would be to talk to him see how he feels about the relationship. I have always admired couples that stick it out when times get tough it shows how willing they are to keep things together.

I try talking to him he said he hates this relationship and tells me he's had enough of me but we were completely fine Monday and Tuesday he woke up a totally different person. I just don't get it. At times he's the greatest guy in the world and all of a sudden I'm home crying for something I didn't do

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadySam

He doesn't mind if you leave because he presumes, like before, you will be back.
An on and off relationship will likely always be that, on and off.
Unless someone calls it off permanently.

Well I left him in dec because of the way he treated me . I didn't find someone after that but I didn't like him and then I met another after that but after four months I heard he cried for me and he loved me more then anything. And during the 4 months we weren't together he was messing around with my best friends and some other girl . But we agreed to try to work things out. I've been nothing but an angel. And every time we argue he's like leave me like you did last time for another guy I'm expecting you to. Like what the heck I'm trying so hard to prove to him I want only him
But he's hurt about the other guys I was with while we weren't together but why donest he think of I feel inside about him messing up my friendship and breaking my heart so many times in the past. It wasn't my fault we got this way he's been unfaithful since day 1 my mistake was not ending it right there and then 4 years ago

should i leave or should I stay?

I've left in the past due to the way I got disrespected and we got back together recently to try to work things out. But all of a sudden he's pushing away again after 4 months he's telling me why should I love you if your going to leave again. I simply explained I left because of the same reason that's going on on. The disrespect.

I don't want to leave and prove him right but I also don't want to deal with the emotional abuse that I don't deserve. What should I do?

Leave and don't look back, then the confusion will fade in time, and you can maybe get a healthy relationship with out the history of abuse, cheating, lying, and disrespect.