Hello everyone, long time viewer, first time posting anything.
My name is T.J. and I'm 19. Ive just recently tried to begin the healing process of a very messy breakup with my 18 yr old ex ( we were together a year almost to the day).
One day my sister was saying how she heard my ex had at one time been a lesbian... this was quite a surprise to me because I was rather familiar with all of her male ex's, either going to school or playing baseball with them. Trying to determine whether this information was true, I politely and respectfully asked my girlfriend if this was true, telling her if it was, it would make no difference, I just wanted to know. You know those moments where you just know someone is lying?? This was one of those moments.
The next day I proceeded to ask her mom if she knew anything about it... again, I got this feeling. Do I trust my girlfriend or do I do some digging? I regretablly did some digging into her myspace and sure enough discovered that indeed not only was this true, but she was catching up with ex lover while we were going out! Although the talk was nothing serious, it enraged me... by the time I gathered up the courage to confront her about it, it was around the 10 month stage of our relationship... she then proceeded to flip, demanding I tell her... I eventually cracked, told her about the myspace incident, and she just explained herself that she didn't want to talk to this girl anymore and was trying to let her know politely... kinda made me look like an idiot that I hacked into her myspace
Lets proceed a month later... I casually ask her if she's talked to her ex of 2 years, sean, whom I've known from baseball and had absolutely no problem w/ him. Sure enough, I got the lying feeling again... and sure enough, I checked into her Yahoo, and there it was, she was talking to sean. Again, the talk was nothing serious, but still, I flipped, because why would you lie about something as frivilous as talking to someone ( he's in Kansas, so the potential for them to get together is very minimal)? The same events ensued as the myspace fiasco, except this time, she didn't feel any need to apologize for any wrongdoing... instead she dropped the dreaded words of " i need space"
This is how I discovered this website... I proceeded to follow all of the rules described on here about giving the woman space, the NO CONTACT RULE... honestly, I cracked within 3 weeks, pretty long I must say considered the intense nature of our relationship and our love for one another... she basically informed me she didn't want to deal with it anymore and the trust is broken... I apologized beyond belief, with flowers/cards/texts, you name it... nothing worked... as of now, we're done, but I have a funny feeling she just doesn't really know what to do right now... the last and final time we talked she said she just didn't want to deal with it and she didn't want to work it out... she even added the nice touch of adding " maybe ill see you around sometime. ill mail ure to you. goodbye"
I'm just lost right now... I've had plenty of relationships but this one provided me a comfort I've never experienced before... if anyone could just share insight into these events itd be deeply appreciated, because right now, I'm just going bonkers. Does she feel the same pain as me? Has she moved on already? Is there the possibility of a makeup?
I just don't know how to feel. :confused:
