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-   -   How do I know if my boyfriend is using me for sex and his needs? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=680790)

  • Jul 9, 2012, 04:07 PM
    Noushy
    How do I know if my boyfriend is using me for sex and his needs?
    I don't know how to begin with,I ve known him for 8 years,we ve been together before but we were so young and now I don't know how to call it ,I think an open relationship.. Everytime we make out or have sex ,he leaves afterwards without even cuddle for a while ,it bugs me so much ,I even talked to him about it in a really sweet way and he answered by some lame excuses.. the problem is we slept together after we had this conversation and after it he left me and went to sleep and we have sex in the morning ,he left me in the room and told me to dress up because we are leaving... I don't know what else to do.. the problem I ve been trying to broke up with him in a long time and still he refuses to accept the idea, I told him in his face that I don't want to know him anymore and his answer would be (what the hell are you talking about it ?or (is that easy for you to say ).. when he calls ,I ignore him,when he text ,I ignore him.. I don't know what else to do he doesn't give up.. the thing is we went to this party last night and we were on extacy ,I got so sick I puked ,he went crrrrrrrrrrrazy over me ,I took me to the bathroom and didn't let me go although he was on extacy but still he was there for me every minute ,he is soooo jealous even from his friends when it comes to me laughing or talking to one of them.. I don't know what to do.. Please Help!
  • Jul 9, 2012, 04:14 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Stop having sex with him and see if he leaves you,
  • Jul 9, 2012, 04:19 PM
    Noushy
    I did that before... he didn't touch me and still he continued knowing me and calling me like nothing happened
  • Jul 9, 2012, 07:03 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Noushy View Post
    i did that before...he didn't touch me and still he continued knowing me and calling me like nothing happened

    Then stop answering his calls, stop going places with him and for goodness sakes stop taking drugs with him. You ignore him for as long as it takes. He'll get the message.
  • Jul 10, 2012, 10:45 AM
    Noushy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Then stop answering his calls, stop going places with him and for goodness sakes stop taking drugs with him. You ignore him for as long as it takes. He'll get the message.

    I think you didn't get the message... I ve been ignoriung him for over a year and still he doesn't give up.. I ve tried everything.. he calls from unknown numbers, he text me, he what's app me.. he DOES everything... :(
  • Jul 10, 2012, 11:01 AM
    Homegirl 50
    So what! You don't have to go out with him, you don't have to do drugs with him.
    How old are you and how old is he? If it bothers you that much, if you are serious about getting rid of this guy, bring stalking charges up on him. Because it sounds like that is what he's doing.
    This guy does not care about you other than someone to have occasional sex with. You are worth more than that.
  • Jul 10, 2012, 11:30 AM
    Noushy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    So what! You don't have to go out with him, you don't have to do drugs with him.
    How old are you and how old is he? If it bothers you that much, if you are serious about getting rid of this guy, bring stalking charges up on him. Because it sounds like that is what he's doing.
    This guy does not care about you other than someone to have occasional sex with. You are worth more than that.

    .I am 22 and his 23.. I ve known him since I was 14...
  • Jul 10, 2012, 11:52 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Sounds like you two had a dysfunctional arrangement from the beginning and he wants to keep the open relationship going.
    You tell him you want nothing more to do with him and don't contact you again and if he continues you'll have him brought up on stalking charges and mean it.
    Document every time and how he contacts you and don't respond.
  • Jul 10, 2012, 11:55 AM
    Wondergirl
    "i ve been trying to broke up with him in a long time and still he refuses to accept the idea"

    It's not his call. It's yours. If you want to break up with him, then do so, but don't keep giving in and going back and forth on it. You don't care if he accepts it or not. Ignore him and move on.
  • Jul 10, 2012, 11:56 AM
    Noushy
    [QUOTE=Homegirl 50;3189438] That's the problem.. I am egyptian , we don't ve stalking charges here unless it's a bg deal because its bad for the reputation.. My dad can't know anything about it unless it will be DEAD SERIOUS.. ALthough before ,there was this really ed up situation that my parents knew about and it was DISASTER and they called him and told him never to contact me again.. he kept an calling from unknown numbers and made some girls made the phone call first just to be sure that its not one of my parents who's on the phone.. he went to lebanon for 2 months and once he arrived he called me... I don't know what to do...
  • Jul 10, 2012, 11:58 AM
    Noushy
    HE STALKS ME... HE knows where I live..
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:00 PM
    Wondergirl
    Have a secret word with your girlfriends that has to be used before you will talk to them. Or communicate only by email and IMs--no phone--until this guy gives up.
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:02 PM
    Noushy
    Is it normal for him to have sex with me and then leaves me afterwards? I talked to him about it.. He still does it... It makes me feel like a prostitute
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:03 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Then you need to tell your dad again. If your are serious about leaving this jerk alone, you will let your dad know this guy is still bothering you... Or you will ignore him for as long as it takes. He keeps coming back because you keep responding to him
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:04 PM
    Wondergirl
    WHAT?? You are having sex with him?? I thought you are trying to get him out of your life!!
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:05 PM
    Noushy
    I can't tell my dad... That's the last resort.. Please Guys find another way.. :(
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:06 PM
    Homegirl 50
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Noushy View Post
    is it normal for him to have sex with me and then leaves me afterwards ??i talked to him about it .. He still does it ...It makes me feel like a prostitute

    The guy is a jerk and he treats you like his personal whore. Stop giving in to him.
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:08 PM
    Homegirl 50
    You stop doing drugs with him, stop having sex with him. Stop responding when he calls you. Stop answering his calls and going out with him. This is in your power... Or you tell your dad .
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:09 PM
    Noushy
    You guys,, Please understand,. I was with him 2 days ago,we were on a voyage ,and there we had extacy and we were together and he was drunk.. that's when he hit me cause he was drunk , and there was this ugly fight happened... and now when I returned , I took the decision that I don't want to know him anymore...
  • Jul 10, 2012, 12:09 PM
    Wondergirl
    Say no to this guy. You certainly aren't having sex with him in public places, so refuse to go anywhere with him.

    Are you worried you won't find anyone else if you lose this guy's attention?

    If you don't want to be with him, why are you on a "voyage" with him and taking Ecstasy with him?

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