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-   -   What Step is Next? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=68020)

  • Mar 2, 2007, 10:56 AM
    FoxyLoxy24
    What Step is Next?
    I was involved in an incident where the police were called by myself on my boyfriend. Charges were laid against him by the police not by myself. I truly believe tempers and emotions were too intense to have made proper decisions regarding both our actions. The next day I called the police and they told me that there was nothing I could do to help him. This was not true because I talked to the appropriate person later on and eventually got the restraining order lifted. Now knowing that I cannot turn to the police for answers regarding his trial, what is my next step in maintaining the safety of my boyfriend in trial? What can I personally do to get the charges and trial potentially thrown out? Also, what amount of time would or could he receive in jail if he was convicted? If he agreed to take counsilling or anger management classes would that help? I need to know what is in my power to do.

    ~ Thanks from Canada.
  • Mar 2, 2007, 12:33 PM
    ballengerb1
    If the police leveled the charges you can not lift them. You may be the person who called the police but they found him to be in violation of some law or ordinance. The rstraining order is most likely not related to the charge made by the police, the restraining order is your doing.
  • Jan 23, 2008, 09:48 AM
    david567
    This is a true example of why people make me SICK! First of all its not the police fault your BF caught a trial in the first place. If you don't want any help or if you just needed someone to clean up your dirty work for a little bit! Call a friend or a brother,but leave the police out of it! I hope your BF gets the full amount of time served for a crime that he committed so you won't ever make the mistake of CRYING WOLF again. Everyone like to blame the police when something go's wrong,but as soon as there in trouble 911 is called.
  • Jan 23, 2008, 02:53 PM
    fde
    Anger management! Can't hurt. What do you mean safety of your BF? Jail is that what you mean. Is this a first offence? If you want the restraining order lifted that's about you. The state is charging him. All he and you can do is ride it out.
    You must have had a good reason that night to call, maybe you feared for yourself so you got help. That is not wrong. What the police do is out of your hands and is not your fault he was the one with the bad behaviour. Maybe this is a step for change for him. Did you ever consider maybe you did something good for him. All things come into our lives for some reason. Maybe this is his ROCK BOTTOM for change.
    Good luck !Just let it play out the way it is meant to. And remember you were tiring to help you.
    PS>You can write a statement for his lawyer. Stating you may have over reacted. Try to talk about his character. Don't lie just say how it was that you felt that night. Think about your statement to the police don't contradict yourself. That would be bad. If you are still talking ask him to ask his lawyer what it is you can do to help him.
  • Jan 23, 2008, 04:59 PM
    JudyKayTee
    [QUOTE=FoxyLoxy24]I was involved in an incident where the police were called by myself on my boyfriend. Charges were laid against him by the police not by myself. I truly believe tempers and emotions were too intense to have made proper decisions regarding both our actions. The next day I called the police and they told me that there was nothing I could do to help him. This was not true because I talked to the appropriate person later on and eventually got the restraining order lifted. Now knowing that I cannot turn to the police for answers regarding his trial, what is my next step in maintaining the safety of my boyfriend in trial? What can I personally do to get the charges and trial potentially thrown out? Also, what amount of time would or could he receive in jail if he was convicted? If he agreed to take counsilling or anger management classes would that help? I need to know what is in my power to do.


    Don't know Canadian law - that being said in many jurisdictions if it's a "domestic" (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife) SOMEBODY is going to be arrested.

    I don't know why you think the Police did not tell you the truth and what "appropriate person" you talked to - Judges and the Courts sign restraining orders; the Police investigate and arrest people - two different things. The Police have no knowledge of his trial to begin with - their only involvement is their testimony of what they observed when the charges come to trial.

    You can't get the charges thrown out; you are now a witness for the State (or the Province or whatever). If you don't appear willingly to testify you can be subpenaed. Ignore that you are in contempt.

    His Attorney should talk to both of you and make recommendations but depending on the incident I don't know what the Court will decide. Also a lot depends on past history/record.

    Also, you're not here for life lessons - but if it got so bad you had him arrested, run for your life now while you still came. Okay. Sermon over.
  • Jan 23, 2008, 06:57 PM
    twinkiedooter
    She asked this question originally on March 2, 2007...
  • Jan 24, 2008, 02:47 PM
    fde
    Twinkiedooter is 100% right I agree!!
  • Jan 25, 2008, 09:17 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by fde
    Twinkiedooter is 100% right i agree!!!


    You agree this was originally posted in March 2007?
  • Jan 25, 2008, 11:04 AM
    twinkiedooter
    Mar 2, 2007 12:56PM
    FoxyLoxy24

    At least that's what appears at the top of my OP
  • Jan 25, 2008, 11:23 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by twinkiedooter
    Mar 2, 2007 12:56PM
    FoxyLoxy24

    At least that's what appears at the top of my OP



    No, I'm not questioning that - I'm asking what FDE is agreeing with -

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