I have been working in the same place for 4 1/2 years. I have been promoted within my location twice to where I now have only 2 people above me at my location--a General Sales Manager, and a General Manager (GM)--the General Sales Manager (GSM) being my direct boss. Over the past 1 1/2 years, my GSM has been rather negative to the sales floor. So much in fact, that there has been complaints to upper management and HR about it. Here of lately, it has began to happen to me also. While working numbers with salespeople in the office, I have been publicly humiliated in front of them. (These salespeople being the ones I am to manage). I have even been referred to as "stupid" in front of others and my GM.

The latest incident, I have taken rather personal as it was not only an attack towards myself, but my family. There was a company sales spreadsheet that my GSM had given me to study. He told me that I was to dispose of it after reviewing it as he could get in trouble for having it. I have 2 offices which I work out of and had to go to my second office to respond to a customer and forgot the spreadsheet (I admit that I made a mistake, but it was not intentional). After that, another customer came into the salesoffice where the spreadsheet was left. Altogether, there was my GSM, my GM, the customer and myself all in the office at the same time. My GSM asked me to assist the customer, which I responded to with, "no problem." He then preceded with the following, "By the way, you left that spreadsheet sitting on your desk for everyone to see." I just nodded, not knowing how to respond with a customer standing right there. He then proceeded to say, "If you ever leave that laying around again, I will burn your house down." I just tried to nod it off, and since I am trying to sell my current house, I rebutted with "Go ahead, I haven't been able to sell it, I'd probably get more money out of it that way." He then stood up, and with the customer and his boss sitting right in front of him said, "No, I will burn your new house down with you and your husband sitting in it." At this point, I had no idea what to say. I proceeded to lead the customer out of the office to assist him and shook it off for the meantime. After work, I called my GM (his boss) and told him how I felt about the comment that he had made. He said he would be sure to discuss it with my GSM and fix the problem. I also made my GM aware that I just as disturbed by him sitting there and doing nothing while being a witness to what happened. At first, he got a little defensive, but then apologized assuring me, that with the customer there, it was not the right time to react.

Now as I said, this has been going on for quite some time. I am getting to the point to where I am scared to go to work. Although no physical damages have occurred, I am getting to the point to where the constant emotional abuse is driving me insane. Even worse, I'm scared because the GM and the GSM are so "buddy, buddy." I'm afraid of things getting worse, and I am not one that is "quick tongued" to where I can stand up to his constant discouraging comments. I am one who tends to think about what they say before they say it.

My question is, should I take this threat further up the ladder past the management team at my location, or am I just being thin-skinned? Should I try to move on to another job and let bygons be bygons? After all, I don't think I can keep working under these current conditions. I am simply scared to go to work. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Ask yourself this: would you treat anyone as your GSM (and to a lesser degree, your GM) has treated you?


Over the past 1 1/2 years, my GSM has been rather negative to the sales floor. So much in fact, that there has been complaints to upper management and HR about it.

Has this situation been dealt with or is it a continuing problem? If not, then he is being deliberately allowed to get away with it.

There was a company sales spreadsheet that my GSM had given me to study. He told me that I was to dispose of it after reviewing it as he could get in trouble for having it.

He should not have given it to you! If he wasn't supposed to have it, then he certainly had no business asking someone else to look after it.

Here of lately, it has began to happen to me also. While working numbers with salespeople in the office, I have been publicly humiliated in front of them. (These salespeople being the ones I am to manage). I have even been refered to as "stupid" in front of others and my GM.

Very unprofessional behaviour - it has a negative affect on morale.
Calling you "stupid" in private is something you might have to put up with once in a while because at your senior level it is normal for managers to speak plainly to each other; it becomes bullying though if they won't allow you to speak to them in the same way.
It was definitely unreasonable for for your GSM to speak that way in front of others and I'm surprised the GM didn't intervene as he or she was supposed to.

"If you ever leave that laying around again, I will burn your house down."

Maybe it's just that the pressure is getting to him, but beware of people who are aggressive and hostile, and then afterwards act in a friendly way that makes you feel obliged to respond in kind, before going into the same aggresive/hostile routine again - it's much the same scenario as when a husband beats his wife and then promises not to do it again (always a lie).

Get yourself a diary and jot down every incident where you are made to feel uncomfortable or intimidated (make a note of the date and time).
Bullying is very often perpetrated in a series of small, almost insignificant events - like being pecked to death by ducks. It won't be until a few months later when you read your own diary-record that you will see how it all mounts up into a campaign of abuse.

Take what you have to someone higher up and dump it in their lap; chances are they do know what's going on but they've gotten comfortable with the status quo - so long as the work is done and the customers are happy they may turn a blind-eye to the trouble on the shop-floor.

A couple of months down the line when nothing has been done (don't expect them to do anything) , or they've just paid lip service to a promise to sort it out, you go as high up as you can and show them all that you've recorded in your diary and make clear that you'll take it all the way.

Maybe it's just that the pressure is getting to him, but beware of people who are aggressive and hostile, and then afterwards act in a friendly way that makes you feel obliged to respond in kind, before going into the same aggresive/hostile routine again - it's much the same scenario as when a husband beats his wife and then promises not to do it again (always a lie).

It is strange that you mention that--he does that all the time. Acts like the big "dominant male" when others are around, but turns into a completely different person when no body else is around.

I have began to take notes in my palm pilot which is password protected just in case. I just want to be able to do my job without being put down. Is it also possible that he is trying to "make me quit?" I have nothing else in life but my job and family. I don't have a social life outside of work and have dedicated so much of my life to this job and trying to make something of myself. I just keep trying to figure out what I have done so terribly wrong.

You are not being thin-skinned here. You have every right to be upset by this man's threats, name calling, and generally abusive behavior. I agree with much of what L.D. says. It is good that you are making notes of the behavior. Include date, time, and anyone else that is present.

Wildcat, you are in an environment that is normally male dominated. Is it possible that you are the first female to break out of the rank of secretary in this place or basically the first to be in the position you are? If so, there is a very good chance that this is what is motivating him to act this way. It sounds like pure sexism to me. As L.D. suggests when you have enough evidence written up, go as high as you can with this. I am assuming there is a corporate Human Resources department. I would file a formal complaint to them. This guy will be put on warning because the corporation will not want to have to deal with a major lawsuit. I suspect he will be even more verbally abusive once he is told that he is on notice. Tell him very sweetly that everything he says and threatens will be noted and reported. And follow through. If you do things by the book, and nothing is done by corporate to resolve the matter in a timely manner, you will have enough of a basis for a lawsuit. For now, keep your mouth shut and fly under the radar. You do not want to give anyone any reason to fire you before you have a chance to collect as many of these transgressions as possible on which to file the complaints. You shouldn't have to lose your job over this or live in fear. If you handle this smartly, he will lose his job, not you. You may want to speak to a labor lawyer for further direction on compiling information and to ensure that you are doing everything you are supposed to do to protect yourself.

This goes beyond workplace harassment. That was a direct threat against your well being. I would document the incident and take it to corporate HR. I would demand that they take action to either get the GSM into some program or to terminate him. That if they don't take action you will report the threat to the police.

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Originally Posted by wildcatgirl

I have been working in the same place for 4 1/2 years. I have been promoted within my location twice to where I now have only 2 people above me at my location--a General Sales Manager, and a General Manager (GM)--the General Sales Manager (GSM) being my direct boss. Over the past 1 1/2 years, my GSM has been rather negative to the sales floor. So much in fact, that there has been complaints to upper management and HR about it. Here of lately, it has began to happen to me also. While working numbers with salespeople in the office, I have been publicly humiliated in front of them. (These salespeople being the ones I am to manage). I have even been refered to as "stupid" in front of others and my GM.

The latest incident, I have taken rather personal as it was not only an attack towards myself, but my family. There was a company sales spreadsheet that my GSM had given me to study. He told me that I was to dispose of it after reviewing it as he could get in trouble for having it. I have 2 offices which I work out of and had to go to my second office to respond to a customer and forgot the spreadsheet (I admit that I made a mistake, but it was not intentional). After that, another customer came into the salesoffice where the spreadsheet was left. Altogether, there was my GSM, my GM, the customer and myself all in the office at the same time. My GSM asked me to assist the customer, which I responded to with, "no problem." He then preceeded with the following, "By the way, you left that spreadsheet sitting on your desk for everyone to see." I just nodded, not knowing how to respond with a customer standing right there. He then proceeded to say, "If you ever leave that laying around again, I will burn your house down." I just tried to nod it off, and since I am trying to sell my current house, I rebutted with "Go ahead, I haven't been able to sell it, I'd probably get more money out of it that way." He then stood up, and with the customer and his boss sitting right in front of him said, "No, I will burn your new house down with you and your husband sitting in it." At this point, I had no idea what to say. I proceeded to lead the customer out of the office to assist him and shook it off for the meantime. After work, I called my GM (his boss) and told him how I felt about the comment that he had made. He said he would be sure to discuss it with my GSM and fix the problem. I also made my GM aware that I just as disturbed by him sitting there and doing nothing while being a witness to what happened. At first, he got a little defensive, but then apologized assuring me, that with the customer there, it was not the right time to react.

Now as I said, this has been going on for quite some time. I am getting to the point to where I am scared to go to work. Although no physical damages have occured, I am getting to the point to where the constant emotional abuse is driving me insane. Even worse, I'm scared because the GM and the GSM are so "buddy, buddy." I'm afraid of things getting worse, and I am not one that is "quick tongued" to where I can stand up to his constant discouraging comments. I am one who tends to think about what they say before they say it.

My question is, should I take this threat further up the ladder past the management team at my location, or am I just being thin-skinned? Should I try to move on to another job and let bygons be bygons? Afterall, I don't think I can keep working under these current conditions. I am simply scared to go to work. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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I was working for a very abusive individual, and because that individual had authority over me, I had the lesser authority in the situation. I took my concerns through proper channels (sound familiar) and this person was permitted to remain in their position, and to continue to supervise (and abuse) me.

I went to a graduate school professor of mine and asked for advice. He said, "get the hell out of there". I thought I could fix it and did not have another job lined up. I bought the company line that they cared and were going to get to the bottom of the situation and that I had to "trust in the process".

Ultimately, what happened was that the company determined that I was a problem because I had a legitimate claim about an illegal action taken toward me by a supervisor in their employ. They got me a new boss allright - a different person brought in specifically to fire me and "deal with" a potential liability. Because the abuse had occurred, they had to get rid of me and make it appear to be all my fault.

If you can afford to, quit today. If you can't, it sounds like you are in sales - possibly car sales from the story you told? Take a sick day and hit the phones - hire an attorney and find another job. There are a lot out there. You don't have to rely on them for a reference if you are still there - just say you are still working there, so don't want them contacted. Even if you have to work temp for a while, waitress, cut off the cable or whatever, get out as soon as you can.

This individual made terroristic threat against your family, with two witnesses present. I strongly suggest you get a restraining order and report the incident to the police.

Retain an attorney, not necessarily to sue, but to push the company for a generous compensation package and to advise the company on your behalf that you are not coming back and that you consider your departure to be an involuntary termination because your life was threatened, as was your husband's, and the company failed to act to protect you in any way. By establishing this you can get unemployment benefits, and perhaps your lawyer can push for a generous severance package as well, to enable you to move on.

The longer you stay, the more at risk you are and the more opportunities they have to sabotage your reputation and make it look like you are making things up.

Most companies will cough up the dough to avoid litigation.

I would definitely get a restraining order against the weirdo manager - he's got a real problem.

If you have the psychological and financial resources to see it through, get a lawyer, keep a diary, build a case and hold their feet to the fire until they say uncle and pay up to make you shut up and go away. This kind of behavior needs to cause some heads to roll and some financial consequences for owners/shareholders of the business. If you can do this, you are performing a great service for those who come after you. If you don't have the resources to carry it to completion, get out ASAP.