Ask Me Help Desk - Girlfriend doesn't satisfy me at all.

So I have been currently talking to my girlfriend for about 4 months and we have been dating for over a month now. I told her right off the bat I wanted to wait till we were actually boyfriend and girlfriend before we did anything because I didn't want to start dating her for the right reason. She also told me she was a virgin ( she expected me to stop talking to her when I found out) but I didn't care because I felt a very strong emotional connection with her.
Once we started dating he hooked up a couple time only oral ( sorry if it's graphic but it's the only way to get the point across) it's maybe been 3 times in over a month. She did tell me she wanted to lose her virginity to me so we did. I did not pressure her at all when it came to that. I was hoped that once we got together and started hooking up it would start happening a lot more often. But it's not.
We are currently on vacation just the two of us for a week and every time I try I get shut down and she act like it's a joke when she just walks away or rolls over. I don't understand if she just doesn't know what to do since she told me she has never really done anything with anyone. I feel like this is messing up how I feel about her and I feel terrible about it but it's reality.
The other night we went out and she had two mixed drinks that had barely any liquor at all in them. Honestly you couldn't taste a drop and they were the size of a dixy cup. Next thing I knew she was all over me. I don't get it. I know we're into each other. I have tried taking to her about it, we are very open with each other. I made sure not to pressure her at all. Does anyone have any ideas at all? Please help me out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sb08

So I have been currently talking to my girlfriend for about 4 months and we have been dating for over a month now. I told her right off the bat I wanted to wait till we were actually bf and gf before we did anything because I didn't want to start dating her for the right reason. She also told me she was a virgin ( she expected me to stop talkin to her when I found out) but I didn't care because I felt a very strong emotional connection with her.
Once we started dating he hooked up a couple time only oral ( sorry if it's graphic but it's the only way to get the point across) it's maybe been 3 times in over a month. She did tell me she wanted to lose her virginity to me so we did. I did not pressure her at all when it came to that. I was hoped that once we got together and started hooking up it would start happening a lot more often. But it's not.
We are currently on vacation just the two of us for a week and every time I try I get shut down and she act like its a joke when she just walks away or rolls over. I don't understand if she just doesnt know what to do since she told me she has never really done anything with anyone. I feel like this is messing up how I feel about her and I feel terrible about it but it's reality.
The other night we went out and she had two mixed drinks that had barely any liquor at all in them. Honestly u couldn't taste a drop and they were the size of a dixy cup. Next thing I knew she was all over me. I don't get it. I know we're into eachother. I have tried taking to her about it, we are very open with eachother. I made sure not to pressure her at all. Does anyone have any ideas at all? Please help me out.

How old are you? And, yes, alcohol can loosen inhibitions.

This is another case where two people are in a relationship - you need to talk to HER, ask HER if there's a problem and, if so, what the problem is. I know you've tried. You say you are open with each other and yet it doesn't appear that you are.

Maybe she regrets losing her virginity. Maybe she has other issues. I don't know.

If you have very different sex drives, she "doesn't satisfy you at all," then you need to take a very close look at your relationship and decide whether you want to go on in this relationship.

If it's not a sex drive question then you need to find out what it is.

First of all, there is a fine art to the bonding ritual. I will attempt to give you the benefit of an experienced older woman that remembers those days...

Take your time, the romance and receptive signals, a drink, a puff, whatever gets you both more relaxed and uninhibited, in the mood... good communication is a big plus... listen to her, ask questions, and do some research on what she likes and I mean all levels--the physical, mental, spiritual . Each of you make room for both ! Be sensitive and intuitive and don't be afraid of emotion... you two need to trust and respect each other so that you can work together and have a wider and higher resonance. Don't forget 1,2,3,4 play... the more preproduction----the better.

Relax and enjoy- let yourselves go! It comes with time and caring. You have to work at it and keep it mysterious and exciting my dear--that keeps it fresh.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kosmelodic

First of all, there is a fine art to the bonding ritual. I will attempt to give you the benefit of an experienced older woman that remembers those days....

Take your time, the romance and receptive signals, a drink, a puff, whatever gets you both more relaxed and uninhibited, in the mood.... good communication is a big plus...listen to her, ask questions, and do some research on what she likes and i mean all levels--the physical, mental, spiritual . Each of you make room for both ! Be sensitive and intuitive and don't be afraid of emotion...you two need to trust and respect each other so that you can work together and have a wider and higher resonance. Don't forget 1,2,3,4 play.... the more preproduction----the better.

relax and enjoy- let yourselves go! It comes with time and caring. You have to work at it and keep it mysterious and exciting my dear--that keeps it fresh.

They've been dating for two months - if "its" not fresh and exciting now it never will be!

I always somewhat alarmed when alcohol is in play, is one of the deciding factors about whether to have sex, to break free of inhibitions.

Agree on the 1, 2, 3, 4 play. Great line!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

They've been dating for two months - if "its" not fresh and exciting now it never will be!

I always somewhat alarmed when alcohol is in play, is one of the deciding factors about whether or not to have sex, to break free of inhibitions.

Agree on the 1, 2, 3, 4 play. Great line!

That's kind of exactly what I'm thinking. If there's really no fire right now then there never will be. I kind of feel like I'm getting ahead of myself here but I tried to do things different this time around and not I'm running into a problem that I've never had before. Like I've said I've tried talking about it but I don't want to be annoying by bring it up multiple times.

If sex is what you are looking for, which you make very clear that is your goal, then go ahead, dump the girl that actually likes you and that annoys you because she doesn't put out, and go meet some other people that are down to do what you are looking for.