Hi I have a daughter who's father has not done anything for her, her whole life his mother and grandmother always bought her christmas. He was very abusive and finally I decided to leave him I never married him so leaving was not the difficult part. I have found someone else and have gotten married, my husband has done and paid for everything my daughter has today. She wants his and my last name and does not want anything to do with her father. So please someone help me with making my daughter feel secure so I can change her name so she never has to be reminded of the horrible abuse she endured and wants no part of today

You cannot change her name legally without the consent of the birth father - he could consent to your husband adopting her OR a name change only.

If you just want the name change, the bio father will have to consent. However, if your husband wishes to adopt, then you may be able to override the bio father's objections.

In either case you have to petition a court. But in the case of an adoption, if the father fights it and you can prove he has been abusive and that the best interests of the child lie in an adoption the court may override the bio father's objections.