So I am in year 10, going on year 11 and there is this girl in my form group that I have liked her for years now and I want to know how to ask her out and tell her how I feel.

A simple task I hear you say? Wrong. The catch is that earlier this year I ask her out via note/letter which ended beadly and I crashed and burned! Ever since "the event" as I now refer to it converastions are rare and extremely awquard.

So please, the many great minds of the internet, please help me! I'm not sure what my next move should be. Suggestions would be greately apreciated.

P.S
I live in England so I ask that all suggestions are as 'un-cheasy' as possible, Its not like in films over here! In England we don't "go and catch a movie together" and no "hanging out" occurs, EVER!

Cheers.

If you already told her how you feel and she said that she doesn't feel the same way, what makes you think she would have changed her mind by now?

It seems like even if you ask her out again, she will only reject you again. For now, I think it's best that you get to know her better as a friend and see how that develops.

How often do you have conversations with her?

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Originally Posted by I wish

If you already told her how you feel and she said that she doesn't feel the same way, what makes you think she would have changed her mind by now?

It seems like even if you ask her out again, she will only reject you again. For now, I think it's best that you get to know her better as a friend and see how that develops.

How often do you have conversations with her?

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Well converastions are very rare, and even when conversations occur they are usually brief.

The thing is I am possibly the most un-confident guy in the world so I find it hard to just waltz over and start a conversation :L

How would I go about getting to know her better?

How did you get the conversation in the first place? Try extending the conversation by asking her more questions.

If you have a confidence problem, then you also need to work on gaining some confidence. To do that, it would be best if you talk to more people, guys, girls, etc. The more people you interact with, the more confidence you will have in yourself. Practice makes perfect.

My father always used to tell me, "Those who matter dont mind, and those who mind don't matter."


Once a person truly overcomes the judgement of others, only then can confidence be achieved.

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Originally Posted by I wish

How did you get the conversation in the first place? Try extending the conversation by asking her more questions.

If you have a confidence problem, then you also need to work on gaining some confidence. To do that, it would be best if you talk to more people, guys, girls, etc. The more people you interact with, the more confidence you will have in yourself. Practice makes perfect.

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The problem is going over and starting the converation without making my intentions seem obvious and the matter of overcoming the intense awquardness of the whole situation following 'the event'

You also have to factor in things like the way girls always seem to hunt in packs of at least 5 and the way my 'lad-ish' mates seem to find it hilarious whenever I am within a 15 metre radius of her and her friends.

In a perfetct world I would love to just walk over and tell her the truth in beatifully crafted speech that would bring a tear even to the eye of the great Bill Shakespeare and walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand to "here comes the sun" by the Beetles.

I like the idea of getting to know her better, I'm sure she is even more amazing than she already is if you do your homework but I need help overcoming the awkward barrierer that stands in my way.

Should I just tell her how it is and just let her go if balls it up or do I work my way back up from the ashes and if I fall short again keep trying?

Suggestions anyone?
(Answers would also be handy)

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

My father always used to tell me, "Those who matter dont mind, and those who mind don't matter."


Once a person truly overcomes the judgement of others, only then can confidence be achieved.

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Thanks for the help and all but do you have anything in English? ;)

I know exactly how you feel man, hahahah nearly exactly how I hoped all of my female encounters would end up like when I was in high school.

Truth it, they don't, obviously.

But you miss 100% of the swings you don't take.

So get out there and talk to her, you won't find out how she feels sitting around asking us.

Of course there is going to be suspicions that you might like her if you talk to her for an extended period. But so what? Think about it this way, if she keeps the conversation short, it means that she doesn't want to get to know you better, so nor matter what you say or do, it won't make a difference, cause she's going to find her way to reject, you can't force her to talk to you. But if she continues the conversation, it may not mean that she likes you, but at least you'll know that she wants to get to know you better.

So don't overthink how you can make it subtle, cause you're going to be wasting too much time trying to figure out the perfect thing to say to her and perfect scenario to have a conversation, and forget how you be natural.

Next time you see an opportunity where she's alone, even if her friends are there, but she's apart from them, then don't be scared to go up to her. If you want, bring up homework and something related to school, so that at least you have an icebreaker.

Talking to girls may not come easy to you cause you seem very shy, so it's going to take some time for you to be more confident with yourself. But the best way to be more confident is to practice speaking to more people, guy or girl.

All good public speakers practice a lot. It's the same idea.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

I know exactly how you feel man, hahahah nearly exactly how I hoped all of my female encounters would end up like when I was in high school.

Truth it, they don't, obviously.

But you miss 100% of the swings you don't take.

So get out there and talk to her, you won't find out how she feels sitting around asking us.

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Cheers. :)

I cannot believe that you "letter" did not work... (sarcasrm). There is nothing a girl enjoys more than to see confidence in a guy, so step up to the plate and ask her out, if she says yes, then maybe you will get something going, if she says no, then guess what... That's right!! You have lost NOTHING, you are EXACTLY where you were right before you asked her out. With nothing to lose and something to gain I don't see where your fear of approaching her is.

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Originally Posted by I wish

Of course there is going to be suspicions that you might like her if you talk to her for an extended period of time. But so what? Think about it this way, if she keeps the conversation short, it means that she doesn't want to get to know you better, so nor matter what you say or do, it won't make a difference, cause she's going to find her way to reject, you can't force her to talk to you. But if she continues the conversation, it may not mean that she likes you, but at least you'll know that she wants to get to know you better.

So don't overthink how you can make it subtle, cause you're going to be wasting too much time trying to figure out the perfect thing to say to her and perfect scenario to have a conversation, and forget how you be natural.

Next time you see an opportunity where she's alone, even if her friends are there, but she's apart from them, then don't be scared to go up to her. If you want, bring up homework and something related to school, so that at least you have an icebreaker.

Talking to girls may not come easy to you cause you seem very shy, so it's going to take some time for you to be more confident with yourself. But the best way to be more confident is to practice speaking to more people, guy or girl.

All good public speakers practice a lot. It's the same idea.

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Cheers. :)
You're right though, wasted so much time. :L

Balls to it boys, going to go for it!

I've had worse odds before. :)

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Originally Posted by DrAnonymous

Balls to it boys, gonna go for it!

I've had worse odds before. :)

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Once you do it, no matter the outcome, pat yourself on the back because you'll have earned it.

I remember the first time I had the courage to ask a girl out, I was very thoughtfully rejected and it felt great. I learned she wasn't interested, but I had done it. There is no better feeling than overcoming a task thought to have been impossible.

I wish you the best of luck my friend.

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

Once you do it, no matter the outcome, pat yourself on the back because you'll have earned it.

I remember the first time I had the courage to ask a girl out, I was very thoughtfully rejected and it felt great. I learned she wasn't interested, but I had done it. There is no better feeling than overcoming a task thought to have been impossible.

I wish you the best of luck my friend.

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After a few days of careful though and consideration I reckon I've got the whole situation planned out...

Tomorrow after our English lesson has finished I plan totake her aside just before she leaves the classroom and just tell her how it is:

"I know it has been kind of awkward between us lately and I want that to change. The truth is i still have feeling for you and I was wandering if you wanted to go out with me?"

If I get a "yes" then I'm in.
If get a "no" I ask her if we can drop the whole thing and forget that anything ever happened. That way we remain friends and I try and move on.

It all seems to work in theory but I could do with your honest opinion, you have been the most helpful so far and would appreciate it if you could help one last time.

Cheers.

Good plan, seeing it through now is the test.

If she says no, odds of you both staying friends is greatly diminished. The awkwardness between you will have risen to a level almost uncomprehendable.

Be prepared to no longer be friends with her, or at least, be prepared for the awkwardness to be very high between you both.

Either way, you don't know until you try.


PS: Let us know how things go :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

Good plan, seeing it through now is the test.

If she says no, odds of you both staying friends is greatly diminished. The awkwardness between you will have risen to a level almost uncomprehendable.

Be prepared to no longer be friends with her, or at least, be prepared for the awkwardness to be very high between you both.

Either way, you don't know until you try.


PS: Let us know how things go :)

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Will do. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

Good plan, seeing it through now is the test.

If she says no, odds of you both staying friends is greatly diminished. The awkwardness between you will have risen to a level almost uncomprehendable.

Be prepared to no longer be friends with her, or at least, be prepared for the awkwardness to be very high between you both.

Either way, you don't know until you try.


PS: Let us know how things go :)

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So the went down today...
... went badly.

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Originally Posted by DrAnonymous

So the went down today...
...went badly.

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How do you feel?

Now you can try it with the next girl you like, and the next, and the next... until you find someone who feels the same way about you as you feel about them! Congratz on having the balls to try!