I have been with my husband for 20 yrs married for 15, we have 2 teenage daughters. I have been having an affair with a married friend of his for 8 yrs. I need to leave my husband, but am very scared. He has a very bad temper, and has made comments before " if i can't have you then nobody will" a part of me still loves him, but I am very much in love with this other man as well.

You decide which part of yourself to go with - if it's the part that's having the affair you retain an Attorney, tell him/her about your husband's threats, file for divorce.

You say you need to leave - your mind appears to be made up. Consult with an Attorney.